TRT Restart Failed, Should I Come Back to TRT?

Hi everybody !
I started aas at the age of 24 ( I will be 28 soon ).
I’m a physiologist student, and studied sports science so sports and bodybuilding have always been a big part of my life :slight_smile:
I also earn money with my body ( dancer ).
My first cycle was years ago, 12 weeks test E, 500 mg / week. Loved the results.
Pct was 8 x 1500 ui hcg ( I dont remeber exactly ) + clomid.
Some months after, and after using tongkat ali, my TT was a little 300.

I didn’t lose strenght or noting, and libido was fine.

Then I re did a cycle, and finally decided to do a blast and cruise.
Cruising was 250 mg sustaton every 10/14 days ( the norm for my country ).
I found that if I took more time in between injections, libido was better than if I injected every week. I was OK to stay off for life, because I want to live on a high T level ( and it s a proven fact than being in the high range of test is good for the anti ageing ).
This lasted at least 2 years. Everything was great in my life, libido very good, always wanting to bang the GF lol, strenght a the gym and shape very good, and always happy.

But pb started to happen.
End of june 2013 my gf quit me for another guy. She was everything for me, we stayed together for 10 years, she was my firt love. I was depressed, so wanted to think about something else, and focused on BB. I started a dbol cycle, and test 500 mg/weeks.
Begining july, I meet a girl during a work in a night club. I had sex with her, and remember it was great, was horny, like if I didn’t think about noting else. Then I saw her again and again but I had erectil dysfunction. So I had to take viagra to resolve this.

My dbol was underground, and started to notice a start of gyno. So I thought my ED was du to high E2.
Since this dbol, I have ED.
Then I meet a new girl and falled in love with her very rapidely ( we are together since august 2013 ).
I rarely could finish sex with her because of ED, so told her about my aas use. I stopped dbol, stayed on test E and did blook test. My E2 were 90 !!! and TT 600 ( was using 500 mg / week of shitty underdosed ( well known … )
UG grrrrrr !! )

I bought adex, and my E2 falled at 14 rapidely…
So I stopped it, and some days after, libido was insane, I thought about sex and that gave me erections. I was great.
But my GF had some little health pb, so we couldn’t have sex, and when we retryed ED was here … I tested a lot of times E2 and they were always too low or too high, and test was not very high because of shitty ug test E.

So I had to take viagra without saying her … ( and it was hit or miss :confused: )

I decided to do a big pct starting in december 22th.
I took a lot of informations of Michael Scally.
Did hcg eod 2200 ui, 18 injections total with 100mg clomid + 20 mg nolva ( used tribulus and tongkat ali, it can’t hurt )
TT was tested the day after last injection, 360 … not enought for stopping hcg ( scally says for stopping hcg TT has to be >450 )

So I did hcg 5000ui eod ( 5 injections total ).
Beetween the 4 and 5th injection TT was 400. 3 days after the last injection TT was 302, Lh very high ( 14 !! ), cortisol 2x the upper range !fsh is middle range, E2 is 49 …I consider myselfs as primary hypogonadic, because my pituitary send a lot of LH but tests don’t respond.
Libido isn’t really improved.

The problem is :
Do I suffer of a lack of libido and ED because of my ex gf quitting me for another guy ? I may lost self confidence.
Or Is it due to high E2 ?
My new gf told me that sex is very important for her, and she will quit me if this continue.
The pb is that she doesn’t want me to take test and being on TRT ( without doc supervisation )and she told me she will quit me if I jump to self trt. My doc, and another doc don’t want me being on trt because my levels are normals !!! fuck that, 300 is may normal for a 85 years old man, but not for me !

yesterday I had a shoot of sustanon, and tomorrow I will have aromasin.
My plan is to do :
250 mg sust / 10 days ( because I was really fine with this protocol for 2 years )
250ui hcg eod ( to continue to stimulate my leydig cells, and may regenerate them )
12mg aromasin ED and when e2 will be at about 20/30, staying in a low dose like 6.5 mg eod or ed … will need blood test.
May if I use that protocol for one year or more, and add hmg, I will regenerate my tests, and will be able to do a pct ( my pituitary can release high amounts of LH after 2 years trt lol )

My test was low after a good pct years ago, so may I have always been hypo ?( but I don’t know because I always thought about sex lol )

And my ED can be due to psychological factors ? because I don’t have sex for pleasuring myself, but just to satisfy my gf … that stress me because i just want to be able to cum without ed :confused:

I will see dr hertoghe, a hrt specialist well known, in november 2014 … but I can’t wait, I want to solve the problem soon.

Some doctors say that very high doses of HCG (such as you took) can be counterproductive because they desensitize the testes to LH. As a result you end up even further shut down when stopping the HCG because the testes won’t respond much to you own LH any more. I suppose it can take some time to recover from that.

High doses of HCG can also cause E2 to skyrocket.

yes I read a lot about that two facts :slight_smile:
so staying in trt, with small doses hcg for long time will probably help a lot for a futur recover :slight_smile:

I would look at free T and adjust E2 before moving on to the next phase of a restart. My free T is in the upper part of the range when total T is around 400. No need to go any higher for me. If you can get Fee T and E2 around 20, you should be good to go.

If the SERM is jacking LH up, just run that for awhile while getting E2 down. See what that does to Free T. Maybe make sure DHEA-s is towards the top of the range. This is what different SERMs have done for my LH and FSH

Nolva - 20mg daily
LH - 5.2 (1.5 - 9.3)
FSH - 4.2 (1.6 - 8)

Torem - 60mg daily
LH - 8.1
FSH - 6

Clomid - 25mg daily
LH - 6.3
FSH - 5.6

Clomid really dropped my IGF-1. Never tested it with the others. I’m going to try 25mg MWF to see if that’s enough to keep LH high and hopefully recover some IGF-1. The key in my mind is to find a dose that provides the proper result and then reduce it a bit to see if you can get the same result with less. Same would hold true for HCG. If I can’t get the proper Free T without tanking IGF-1 on a SERM, I’ll go back to HCG and use the smallest dose that will provide the proper results.

I tested shbg, free test, igf, dhea
I will have the results tomorrow, or in 2 days :slight_smile:
I will keep you posted. Thanks for your answer :slight_smile: