Now I have to watch a Rocky movie. Should up my general mood and motivation.
Edit:
Decided on Rocky III
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something else you may be surprised to discover.
the happiest women in the world have work husbands.
see: amazon warehouse
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Do you mean husbands whom they physically work with, or “work husband” as in ‘waiting until I get divorced’?
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no divorce.
inappropriate (IMO), flirty, lunch together every day, best friends, confidant
Why A Work Husband Is The One Relationship You Need In Your Life
an article from womens health
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I think more the latter, or the work husband is more of an emotional relationship (in most cases).
I think women (and men) need to feel valued. If they don’t get that at home, they may get it at work (they may seek that at work too even if they get it at home, applies to men too).
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Oh, so someone who they can keep in the friendzone indefinitely - got it.
BTW that same article said 10.5% of these women also at least kissed their work husbands; sounds promising.
I think this describes the condition this thread is talking about - gender aside, and not necessarily confined to ‘emotional connection’.
Sorry, I just dislike the idea of having “work husbands” or “work wives” while having an actual husband or wife.
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like a real grownup.
I on the other hand am a sucker for snacks, attention, and silly flattery
co-worker “you look so strong in that shirt”
my real wife: “that shirt is too small for you, sport”
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Slippery slope, for sure. Like a slope covered in ice and coated with WD-40. Especially if one of the “work spouses” is having issues at home.
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I am no expert. I kinda think a lot of cheating isn’t about the person being cheated on. It can be in an indirect way. Like a person needs extra validation and they don’t get that from their spouse so they cheat. But really that is more of the cheater’s issue than the person being cheated on.
Just stick with a “work gf” then haha.
I think I kinda had one of these at one point. It is confusing. Never did anything inappropriate outside of flirting. It did get me a work enemy though from the IT guy who liked her.
Me too brother.
Edit:
For those following along with my Rocky III journy. Rocky just “fought” Thunderlips aka Hulk Hogan.
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If you find the urge to say “I would never treat you that way”, “I would never let that happen”
you’re doing way too much.
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See, I don’t have an issue with stuff like this, maybe that’s because I’m in a male-dominated field and it’s usually dudes talking each other up light-heartedly. If it were a woman saying the same things, it would feel weird to me.
Yes and no. If the would-be-cheater’s needs are met, they certainly won’t go looking for someone else to fill a void - because no void exists… so meeting spouses’ needs helps to prevent this. UNLESS they are unable to think independently of their reproductive organs, in which case they need a chastity belt and shackles (joking, but they were going to cheat anyways).
Still feels wrong to me, but I’m prude about this stuff so maybe I’m just the weirdo. I’d have beef if the missus came home from work telling me about her “work boyfriend”, and I think it’s reasonable to think she’d feel the same way if the roles reversed.
I think it’s inherently difficult for men and women to be good friends with each other without developing any level of attraction between the two.
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the following is not directed to you-- but a hypothetical guy
that conversation never happens, the whole relationship is a secret.
you may/will even meet him at the work function/Xmas party.
you have no idea he knows everything about you and your intimate life.
his number is saved in her phone as pizza hut or worse they only text on snap.
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And this is what I’m getting at. It literally implies romantic relations, whether “work BF” or “work husband” or whatever else you want to call it.
I don’t think it’s unreasonable to not feel comfortable with the idea of someone (who wants to get laid) spending 8 hours a day with your spouse.
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you’re not wrong.
I needed this thread 25 years ago.
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I think this fits some cases.
There are other reasons though for cheating I think. Things that a spouse can’t fill that need on. I don’t know all of them, but I am confident that some people cheat for reasons that are unrelated to their spouse.
I don’t necessarily think it is a bad thing to ask about or bring up. I think to pretend your spouse is only ever going to be attracted to you is naive. If you talk about it, you might be able to identify why she has a work crush. Maybe you can address it.
We talk about that stuff. It is difficult at first for sure. Can make feelings of inadequacy pop up (both ways). I guess I would rather know than be the hypothetical guy you mention. I think a lot of people don’t talk about it because sociatial norms (we are supposed to be completely monogamous, without attraction to others once in a relationship, but I don’t think that is reality).
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IMO, TRT simply adds another variable to the Y = f(x) function of relationship success. Possible increased self esteem of the man. And nothing more.
But a slight increase in male self esteem could push a fragile marriage to failure.
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This is real life stuff.
Running a TRT practice will expose you to a lot of personal situations with patients and a spouse. Many times, there is a TMI situation. One hears a lot. I’ve had a few wives even contact the office and demand we stop treating their husband.
Regardless, compatibility is important. This is discussed on consultation. I’ve seen guys who ended up stopping testosterone because the spouse wanted them to stop. They weren’t up for the increased activity. There are also guys who pay up to a year at a time, in cash, and have refills shipped to their work. Often, the spouse is the one pushing the other to get on testosterone. Wives, after pushing their mid 40s husband into TRT, will end up getting on it themselves six months later so they can keep up.
Many men and women patients confide that going on testosterone (plus possibly estradiol and progesterone for the women) saved the marriage. Very common to hear that. I’ve even had the ex-wife come in as a patient and get on BHRT after the divorce, only to have the ex-husband contact me later and complain that his now ex-wife is too jacked up, “not herself”, because she is banging half the city.
Very interesting phenomena. I’ll say one thing, it is not boring.
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Wow. That’s all fascinating and very insightful. Thanks for chiming in!
A few years back, I helped a doctor set up a TRT clinic. Months later, the wife of one of our patients caught him cheating on her and filed for divorce. In turn, he sued the clinic because the testosterone “made him do it.” As is often the case we these types of things, the clinic ended up settling with him and giving him a substantial amount of money.
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