About a year ago I started a testosterone only cycle, my second one. 500mg a week with some proviron thrown in.
While running it I was training 6 or 7 days a week for a couple hours a day, but also working in a very stressful environment 12 hours a day, with a day or two off every few weeks. After a few months of this I started feeling awful, with depression, anxiety and joint pain. I decided to come off and did PCT with nolva, clomid and HCG. When I did this my symptoms increased ten-fold, and I was no longer functional. Not able to think atall clearly, with depression, anxiety and pain like I had never known before.
I thought that perhaps my testosterone had not come back, so I spent a couple of months like this, not really able to leave the house after previously being very active and outgoing, thinking that I just needed to wait for my levels to come back.
I was finally able to get to a lab to get bloodwork but only got E2 and test as I no longer had an idea of what I was doing due to how I was feeling. The labs showed that my E2 and testosterone were within normal range.
I went to the hospital where they ran some tests that I think were b12, cortisol and a heart ECG. They all came back fine and I was advised to go to a psychiatrist. I live in SE Asia and don’t believe that the quality of care I received in the hospital was very good.
I began looking at what the problem could be by myself, and realised that I likely had adrenal fatigue AKA HPA dysfunction, and started taking steps to keep myself as relaxed as possible, which was a difficult task given my state of mind.
I tried coming back on testosterone, which seemed to help a little, as long as I spread out the dose into 25mg shots. If I did more than this, the same symptoms would come back almost as bad as they were originally.
It’s now 9 months since I originally came off, and have been back on for about 4.5 months, and my state of mind and body are still not working anywhere near how they were. I have to be really careful about exerting myself in any way, and putting myself under any stress.
As a result of this situation my finances are in a bad condition due to me not being able to work. In a couple of weeks I will have a few hundred dollars that I can spend on medical treatment, and I have decided that I want to try and come off the testosterone, as I may want to have children in the future, and realise that if I try and jump off much later than this it’s going to be alot more tricky.
I realise that the whole situation is an absolute mess so don’t need any comments informing me of this. I’d appreciate any solid advice as to what I should do next.