T Nation

Trough urinals must go!

I was at my nephews track meet and went into the bathroom and there before me in all its glory was a ten foot long trough urinal. These things always freeze me up. I can need to piss worse than ever before, but if I have to use that thing my body goes into shut down mode. There is just an awkward, uncomfortable feeling that goes along with using the trough urinal. The worst part is when you’re in there the place is packed, line out the door, you freeze up and then everybody looks at you like you’re some kind of freak. They must think you like to hang out and just check out the scenery. I think next time I walk into a bathroom and see one of those things i’ll just piss myself. It will probably be less embarassing than just standing next to some guy with my junk hanging out making us both uncomfortable while I try to picture running water.

I guess I got over this when I was in boot camp. Imagine about 50 recruits getting a 3 minute bathroom break with only 10 urinals. You better believe we got 2 or 3 swinging dicks to a pot. Also, the stalls have no doors. So you’re sitting and shitting staring at the guy across from you doing the same thing.

And if that wasn’t enough, I spent some time in the brig(military jail), all we had there was 5 toilets sticking out of the wall. No doors, no dividers, just open space. At least in boot camp we had walls on the side of us; in the brig we were sitting, pants at our ankles, bare-cheek next to bare-cheek.

So I’m pretty much over any fears or feelings of uncomfort when it comes to releiving myself.

ace,
if what you mean by freezing up is that it takes you forever to pee when you “step up to the plate”, think back on the last time you paid attention to how long it took the other guys to pee…can’t remember? that’s because nobody sits there and keeps track of that shit! you could probably stand there for an hour with your dick in your hand and nobody would be the wiser. maybe you should hum a song or something to relax…or maybe some penis puppetry to loosen the ole boy up.

Sitting on the toilet in the morning at Ft. Knox, no doors, no walls, nearly gave me death by constipation. It wasn’t even the crapping that bothered me, but wiping is a personal thing.

"…or maybe some penis puppetry to loosen the ole boy up. "

apayne… thats classic!

jaystyles

Note to ace, postpone signing up for military duty until you get over this issue…

Camp Wilson in 29 Palms CA used to not have deviders inbetween their kommodes either. You could be sitting there, poopin (which is what I think is one of the more vunerable positions you can be caught in) and have some Marine come up to you and say shit like…

“hey doc, you know my ankle has really been bothering lately is there any way you could take a look at it?”

Or

“hey doc, I’ve had this wicked rash on my sack, is it contagious?”

All the while, you’re trying to issue out a steamer and be as polite as possible. It’s not like you can just get up and leave.

ahhhh good, good times…

“but wiping is a personal thing”

lol…or is it supposed to be:

BUTT-wiping is a personal thing

The biggest thing I hate about the trough urinals if the spatter. I once went in one of those with shorts on. BIG MISTAKE!!! I could feel a gentle mist on my leg. Nothing worse than knowing your getting pee mist hitting you.

I traveled the middle east for quite some time, a year in fact. Think about this going to take a shit around a little squat hole in the ground. Bathroom plumbing without the gas traps in the pipe. Think of taking a dump at the sewage place on a 90 degree day. Oh the smell of hot crap baking in the sun! Just about as good as hot garbage!

walleye

Get an erection and smile at all the guys. The place will empty out. Well mostly empty out.

Or you could just sit and pee. Like they do in Germany with the talking toilet seats.

Better than trough toilets. I once saw a urin trough type thing that was circular with a thick cone/post rising up in the middle. Pissing dudes from all directions. I don’t remeber to good because I was pretty young but I remember it was bad news.

Pretzel,
In SA we used to call those thing “piss lilies” because of there shape. Don’t see them much outside the military here.

Malonetd
That was funny! I remember realizing the toilet conditions and thinking how the hell am I gonna drop a load in front of all these assholes (no pun intended) when I got to boot camp.

Also, I remember being in Korea and getting shocked when females were walking in the restroom while I was draining the weasel. Coed restrooms what a trip!

Don’t forget about the DIs grabbing recuits and yanking them out during mid-piss when time ran out, I even remember a couple that got yanked off the toilet when they got caught takeing a dump when they weren’t supposed to. Good times.