T Nation

Trevor Noah Solves the Israel-Palestine Conflict

The man is a genius.

yea, genius is never a word I think of when I think of Trevor Noah

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But he is. He was born in the Soweto and is on an upward trajectory ever since.

In a few short years he went from stealing Russell Peters’ jokes to playing this Daily Show woke persona for an audience of young self hating white liberals. And apparently it pays very well.

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The way he can talk about America as if it’s the most evil and inhumane place on Earth with a straight face while his place of birth is the rape capital of the world and his own mother was shot by her husband is truly a sign of genius.

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The market forces of supply and demand - that’s capitalism. Vegan baristas in Portland need a non-white person to tell them that they’re the root of all evil. And there are already enough sassy, morbidly obese black women - and an Indian doing a minstrel show - so he’s filling up a quota of woke men.

Trevor Noah is not “too ethnic” (an actual Igbo from Nigeria would freak them out), has that reassuring accent from his private school and a complexion that doesn’t seem too threatening to an implicitly racist audience.

Better a middle aged TV actress that’s been around the block that being shot in the head during a carjacking in Joburg.

Monetized activism.

The unfortunate irony is that conservative comedians like Steven Crowder do a better job of making me laugh with their Trump jokes and impersonations. They are closer to the mark and don’t need to dance around woke speech codes.

This is what happens when you try to force a joke through a woke-shaped hole. It doesn’t fit, it isn’t funny when it comes out the other side and you lose your comedic soul when you do it. The list of things that are off limits is ever increasing and a main reason why formerly funny people reduce themselves to parroting propaganda that’s barely shrouded by an ostensible joke.

Reason number 5,456,349 why it is important to practice free speech by speaking freely.

Bring back the Holocaust jokes, 9/11 jokes, racist jokes, religious jokes and all of the rest. Comedy should be busy massacring every sacred cow in a healthy society.

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Minka Kelly though…

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Well, at least Russell Peters is a legend over here. His Asian accents are so spot on even the people easily triggered when it comes to racial stuff love him.

About the Isreali Palestinian conflict. There appears to be a semi skewed media narrative encompassing Israel as these sadistic butchers hellbent on putting down Palestinian civilians. As I’ve become more acclimated with my college I actually have now found a significant cohort advocating for marxism/socialism and woke ideology. For whatever reason the “woke” crowd and the “vehemently anti-israel crowd” go hand in hand.

Here’s what I find interesting. The wokesters (made this up, like a hipster but for the woke) advocate for LGHTQI rights and on the extreme end advocate for an end to all traditional societal gender constructs, they advocate for gender equality, excess red tape/nanny state regulatory standards, an end to violent conflict/war and the likes. But here’s the thing… Palestine is occupied by the Palestinian authority and Hamas. Hamas is a terrorist organisation, the Palestinian authority has a martyr fund, both government bodies have been caught red handed lining their own pockets with funds donated from foreign countries, both occupying forces have a HORRENDOUS track record for upholding womens rights, LGBTQI rights, civil liberties and whatnot.

I have family over there that are in underground bunkers right now because Hamas is shooting rocket after rocket after rocket after rocket… but it’s Isreal’s fault right? It always is.

I’ll admit, the conduct within the IDF isn’t always perfect. But with Isreal in charge Palestinian’s aren’t going to be wiped out entirely. The BS narrative of Isreal committing ethnic cleansing I keep hearing bothers me. Here is a neat little quote from Hamas’s charter

"The Day of Judgment will not come until Muslims fight the Jews, when the Jew will hide behind stones and trees. The stones and trees will say, ‘O Muslim, O servant of God, there is a Jew behind me, come and kill him.’’

So it’s Isreal that wants to go down the path of ethnic cleansing right?

If Hamas were to be designated in charge, I believe an attempted genocide would take place. If it weren’t for my qualms regarding discriminatory practices/anti semitism within the Palestinian authority/Hamas I’d be happy to designate the state of Israel as “Palestine” if it meant an end to this conflict.

The Palestinian authority has a martyr fund of which allocates donations from other countries towards citizens who have lost family members to suicide bombings or terrorist attacks. Let’s put this into perspective, the Palestinian authority looks at terrorists as if they’re martyrs. I’m aware the situation is complex, however the Palestinian authority and Hamas receive sizeable donations on a yearly basis. Perhaps they ought to spend said money on infrastructure, educational facilities and farming/irrigation as opposed to digging tunnels into Israel, rockets, self greed and “martyrdom”.

I’m pro Israel because I do believe the Jews have a right to have a secular, democratic Jewish state. Isreal means a loooooot to the Jews, I can go into scripture regarding Israel within the Torah vs the Quran but I’m not sure if that’d be appropriate. Israel is the only state in the Middle East that upholds womens rights adequately and allows gay people to exist without persecution. Israel also has one of the highest rates of college degrees/educated citizens per capita, they contribute to major worldwide technological advances etc. For such a small country, they’ve done some seriously impressive things.

I dislike the current PM within Isreal for reasons I’ll state if this conversation gains traction. But seriously, the Palestinian government aligns with zero progressive ideologies; so why are all the woke kids/progressive politicians catering towards Hamas/the Palestinian authority? Are they really this stupid? Is this a political agenda designed to acquire more votes?

Am I missing something? Neither regime is perfect, but Israel isn’t a totally backwoods, fundamentalist, religious nationalist quasi dictatorship.

Also got into a debate with a Wokester about why you can’t just ban everything you disagree with. They were talking about how the government needs to ban companies from producing plastic straws. My counterargument was “where does it end, have you seen the nanny state batshit legislature coming through to Aus now? Straws are terrible for the environment but I can think of far more effective initiatives. What’s next? A fine for having plastic Tupperware in your own home?”. To which I was told a ban would stop people from procuring the banned items that are bad for the environment… Cocaine production and transport has catastrophic environmental impacts, is highly illegal yet use in Aus is soaring.

Blame the businesses, sure… but blame the people continually purchasing these products too. People ought to be held accountable for their own decisions as opposed to a paternalistic government body imposing hefty doses of societal infantilism. It’s actually grinding my gears quite a bit, as many appear clueless as to the potential ramifications associated with the agendas they push.

Many have lived in a little bubble under the generally safe confines of Australian society. So when we talk about a serious topic like Isreali Palestinian relations I don’t like hearing some ham fisted narrative about ethnic cleansing; about how the Palestinian authority/Hamas are oppressed regimes that need room to breathe. Do you know what Hamas stands for? Have you ever been near the Gaza Strip? Have you ever seen the damage that can be incurred from a suicide bombing? Have you seen up close undetonated rocket shells on the outside confines of school grounds where CHILDREN play?

Family member sent my immediate family a video the other day of the sky at night within Isreal. You can see rockets/explosions lighting up the sky. This isn’t a game, and this isn’t a topic to be taken lightly. If you aren’t sure as to what your stance is, do some research. Watching one video from a one sided outlet doesn’t count.

I’m not an expert, but I do think it’s fishy as to how Israel is always made out to be the instigator when the reality generally dictates Israel is retaliating following initialised rocket fire. I’ve been told (not sure how true this is) that Hamas traps civilians within infrastructure Israel may strike as to try enforce a certain media narrative of Israel being a sadistic, militant regime callously gunning down Palestinian children/adults alike.

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The reason the woke left is more in the side of Palestinian is simple.
In this conflict one party is totally in the ascendancy. That is not war or self defence. Its oppression. And you can be a backwards arsehole all you like. But typically the left would rather an arsehole alive and being a prick than dead.
Also none of the kids in Gaza voted for Hamas.

And yes I’m a critical of Israel. Its responses to the rocket attacks are disproportionate. Kids should not die in the cross fire. Sure Hamas will use kids as a human shields. But that means you stop shooting.

But the criticism of Israel should not be at their response to this attack but the lead up to it.
Israel is doing to the Palestinians what Hitler tried to do to the Jews.
The irony:
American right wing voters who arm thenselves in case the are one day called to face an oppressive government are cheering on the oppressive government.
Ask your self if you were Palestinian would you do?

No they’re not. Thank’s to Bibi Israel opted for the “mowing the grass” strategy which is a dead end in the long run - the Lod riots also shook the Israeli establishment because the Israeli Arab problem is being reactivated after 60 years. Problems of apartheid South Africa only with a much, much more favorable population ratios.

Palestinians are still making babies and creating martyrs. They need their casualties as much as Bibi does.

It’s the legacy of the anti-colonialism from the 1960ies and a blanket for left wing antisemitism, around the time the Israelis became “white” in the great American skin game.

That’s completely incorrect. If it were the case, the would have massacred them 1948 and in 1967, and there wouldn’t be any Israeli Arabs.

Again, the situation is much more similar to apartheid South Africa and the policy of bantustans, only on a much smaller scale.

They’ no chance of employment, no chance of leaving your overcrowded strip of land and no chance of sexual intercourse with a woman (you don’t have the means to pay for a dowry) and the only thing to do is throwing rocks at IDF until you get shot.

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If Israelis used kids as human shields, would Hamas stop shooting?

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Bingo.

How did Jordan and Syria treat Palestinians?

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A recent media narrative regarding a child found dead during the crossfire has been found to be related to a rocket fired by Hamas missing trajectory.

There are tons of cases regarding children found dead during crossfire, yet the when looking at the fine details it typically relates to Hamas using children as human shields, rockets that have been fired by Hamas missing trajectory. Israel generally heeds warnings prior to launching attacks/raids, yet Hamas sometimes FORCES civilians to stay put in firing zones, thus leading to casualties and perhaps skewing media narratives.

I too am critical of Isreal’s PM/government bodies (separation between state and religion or lack thereof, blatant corruption with the Netenyahu administration, though no worse than the PA and certainly not as bad as Hamas). I don’t believe IDF misconduct is systematic, nor does it correlate with the values the IDF stands for. The media narrative towards the IDF almost reminds me of the “defund the police” shit going on in the USA. There most certainly are instances of misconduct and I’d welcome some minor reforms. But to state the issue is systematic oppression? naaaaa

Had the Palestinian authority/Hamas come into power, the result would likely be genocide, an attempt to wipe out the jewish population of Israel.

How so? Where is the systemic extermination? What’s more, why would you want a government in power of which is within itself inherently oppressive towards its residing population? Homophobia, ethnic discrimination, systemic sexism (not the kind of BS quasi/barely sexism woke kids complain about in modern era society)

Well… Hamas can’t seem to be voted out. They’re a little bit of a dictatorship in that manner… What’s more, may countries have designated them a terrorist organisation. Practices like suicide bombing, spreading blatant propaganda, extreme anti semitism etc are akin to militant extremist groups like the Taliban, al qaeda etc.

I’d argue the mismanagement of funds donated from foreign countries adds on to this situation.

Families that live on the borders between jewish/arab communities frequently have to deal with having rocks/bricks and Molotov cocktails thrown at them.

This however I do have an issue with, yet no adequate answer. The majority of Palestinian civilians certainly aren’t evil. It’s a violation of human rights to lack a vetting process/maintain that one is unable to leave their crowded, poverty stricken confines. It’s a humanitarian crisis directly (albeit partially) mediated through the government bodies controlling the land of which has been struck by said crisis.

Probably not… esp given the charter’s explicit stance on killing jews…

Isreal is in my opinion arguably the most secular, civilised country in the Middle East. Isreal has Arab-Isreali’s/Islamic Israel’s residing within it’s confines. Where are all the jews in middle eastern countries? WHY aren’t there may jews residing in the Middle East aside from within Israel? Want to talk about the ethnic/cultural discrimination, lets talk about how Jews are treated within the middle east; about how holding an Israeli passport can automatically bar you entry to certain countries

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People’s opinions on responding to rocket attacks seem to change the further one is from where the rockets are landing.

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I keep hearing Isreal has no right to retaliate… So, if some guy physically provokes me I should just stand by within hitting distance and cop multiple punches to the face. That makes sense right?

I don’t know too much about the situation, but if Hamas is a terrorist organization, why don’t they infiltrate them and take them out. Is this not a possibility?

Seems like taking out the actual bad actors would be a good strategy.

Indeed.

And if you look at Israel on a map; it is a little speck surrounded by countries and groups sworn; often officially in their charters; to the destruction of Israel. I think it was @Jewbacca who said you could drive (fly?) across Israel in something like 15 minutes?

And they are not on top of one drop of oil.

Israel ABSOULUTELY has the right to defend herself. And is many ways, it is my opinion that Israel is exercising a lot of restraint.

Groups firing rockets into her borders are not looking for “peace”, but for the ultimate destruction and elimination of Israel.

Trevor Noah should have stayed out of this one.

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The worry would be international condemnation, of which they already cop a lot of unnecessary shit/commentary from various countries, particularly middle eastern countries in the UN of which are likely systematically anti-semitic. I don’t like bringing the religious aspect into it, rather I look at Israeli society vs the countries surrounding Isreal and the policies put in place by Hamas/the Palestinian Authority and think “how the fuck could someone want the Palestinian authority/Hamas in power”. Unless you cater towards religious extremism, terrorism, fundamentalism, nationalism etc I can’t see why you’d want to support a government overthrow. Liberate the Palestinian civilians… sure (if you can do so whilst removing the indoctrinated ideologies mediated through propaganda/extremist views), but FUCK Hamas and fuck the Palestinian authority. These organisations are partially at fault for the poverty, lack of education, poor access to healthcare etc within the demographic they’re supposed to be taking care of.

If Isreal was to implement barbaric, unrestrained tactics as per the brush mainstream media appears to paint Isreal with Hamas/the Palestinian authority simply wouldn’t exist. They’d be symbolically wiped off the map.

International condemnation. I know hit may sound like I’m preaching conspiracy theories, but I’m not. I’ve looked into both sides of this equations. I have my criticisms of Israel, but they pale in comparison to the criticisms I have with the Palestinian authority and particularly Hamas

There appears to be a left wing anti Israel sentiment. Perhaps @loppar can inform me as to why this is the case. labour in the UK and greens in Aus appear to actually harbour some semblance of systematic albeit veiled anti semitism. I know far right anti-Semitism is common, but it appears as if the (far/extreme) left wing view all minorities as fragile victims of consistent, systematic oppression yet jews are exempt from this categorisation.

My university bends over backwards to help the Islamic community, they even have a mosque on campus. I think this is fantastic as it caters towards freedom of religion… Yet jews are a far smaller minority and there is no catering towards my needs as a Jew (though I have met students who dislike Israel). Why don’t I receive exemptions for jewish holidays without having to explicitly ask? Yom Kippur ought to = automatically off. I don’t practice much/fast, but I use the day to spend time with family. I’ll always identify as Jewish even if I don’t adhere to many of the rules, I even put on tefillin occasionally.

I dislike the prospect of organised religion, but I commend the generalised moral fundamentals religion tends to install. Furthermore, the sense of community one can perceive at a synagogue is amazing.

I’m not even “light skinned” either. I’m olive… or “brown” (Fitzpatrick IV). Compared to the stereotypical Arabian/middle eastern skin tone I’m virtually indistinguishable. #victim #oppressed. I’ve only ever been insulted due to the tone of my skin once and the guy insulting me was purportedly a “national socialist”, I’ve copped far more insults for being Jewish