So, this guy comes into my gym right after someone knocked over the chalk bucket. He must have not used a dryer sheet because he had stuff clinging to him-- socks, dildos, weights…
Looked like he was having some internal problems, maybe stomach flu or indigestion.
He looked partly like Animal from the Muppets and part machine-- only because he was standing behind the leg extension machine from where I was standing.
So, he goes over to the squat rack, and this guy who normally squats in the 600’s is just warming up with 135. The big guy gets this look of disgust on his face when he sees this douchbag looking at him. I think it was the smell of rancid cheese and ass. Guy racks his weight and says ‘fuck it you can HAVE it you smelly fucker’.
So he goes to the spilled chalk rubs it all over himself mumbling something about shitting and pissing.
Then he goes over and starts trying to do pullups on the bar in the squat rack. I don’t think his legs left the ground and it looked like he was pushing himself pretty hard with his legs.
I think he had Turette’s Syndrome or somehting because he kept yelling FUCK SHIT PISS.
"Defeated, I slowly walked away as sweat poured down my ever fatigued back. Although it was with a strong spirit and raised chin that I muttered, “today you have beaten me 135 pound deadlift, but I will rise from the ashes like a phoenix to do battle again. Oh yes, I shall be back!”