T Nation

Top bodybuilding FAQ

'Sup T-folks, I found this on another discussion bored and thought you would enjoy this.

Q: I need to lose weight fast, what’s the fastest way?

A: Amputate a limb. Preferably an arm so you can still squat.

Q: What’s the fastest fat burner? I need to get ripped by next week.

A: A butane torch. Simply cut 6" incinsions at the offending area and melt away the unwanted fat.

Q: What’s the fastest way to gain weight?

A: Eat change. Start on a 5 day loading phase where you eat 10 quaters with every meal or 100 quaters a day, whichever is more. After the loading phase cut back to 50 cents in pennies per day.

Q: I’ve been woprking out for 10 years and haven’t seen any changes. I know I am eating and training right so don’t tell me to change those. What do I do?

A: Quit exercising, you’ve reached your potential.

Q: A friend gained 30 lbs. in 2 months from using creatine, how come I didn’t get the same gains?

A: He took more creatine than you. Are you sure you did a loading phase?

Funny post. I always tell my clients the one about losing a limb as the best way to lose “weight” fast.

phishdawg: My favorite are the ones who KNOW they are doing everything right, so don’t tell them about diet and workouts. (I see that a lot on THIS site and in the gym!)I tell you what; since being on this site and subscibing to the mag, I’m learning something new EVERY DAY and probably will continue to do so…it’s a lifelong process.

Thanks for the props guys. While we’re at it, what were the craziest questions you’ve ever been asked about lifting? Mine would have to when I worked at a local GNC. I was asked if I knew where to get steroids.