'Sup T-folks, I found this on another discussion bored and thought you would enjoy this.
Q: I need to lose weight fast, what’s the fastest way?
A: Amputate a limb. Preferably an arm so you can still squat.
Q: What’s the fastest fat burner? I need to get ripped by next week.
A: A butane torch. Simply cut 6" incinsions at the offending area and melt away the unwanted fat.
Q: What’s the fastest way to gain weight?
A: Eat change. Start on a 5 day loading phase where you eat 10 quaters with every meal or 100 quaters a day, whichever is more. After the loading phase cut back to 50 cents in pennies per day.
Q: I’ve been woprking out for 10 years and haven’t seen any changes. I know I am eating and training right so don’t tell me to change those. What do I do?
A: Quit exercising, you’ve reached your potential.
Q: A friend gained 30 lbs. in 2 months from using creatine, how come I didn’t get the same gains?
A: He took more creatine than you. Are you sure you did a loading phase?