T Nation

Today at the Gym

Off Topic
#1

So I took a huge dump today at the gym and I found out two things:

  1. My gym apparently doesn’t stock the restrooms with necessities during afternoon hours.

and

  1. They keep Muscle and Fitness as local reading material.

So, I did what any true lifter would do: I used Muscle & Fitness for toilet paper.

:smiley:

#2

You’re my hero.

#3

[quote]No Interference wrote:
So I took a huge dump today at the gym and I found out two things:

  1. My gym apparently doesn’t stock the restrooms with necessities during afternoon hours.

and

  1. They keep Muscle and Fitness as local reading material.

So, I did what any true lifter would do: I used Muscle & Fitness for toilet paper.

:D[/quote]

LOL

Good stuff man.

#4

No Interference = The Man

#5

That’s great. I don’t use the bathroom at my gym, because you can’t go into the locker room without zigzagging around 50 naked men.

#6

“God what happened to te cover of this issue? Someone must really like Albert Pujols.”

#7

That is so cool.

jpb

#8

Funniest shit I’ve read. There’s always that one guy in the bathroom dropping a deuce so that the whole room stinks.

I always try to hold my breath when I take a leak. I need to do more cardio because i never make it out in time…

#9

Well I was the only one in there and I’m glad too, because the magazine paper not only tore up my anus, it didn’t really do its job (it doesn’t even make good toilet paper!), so I had to make a mad dash for the brown paper towels. Those weren’t much better on the old pooper but I at least got clean enough to go work out.

#10

[quote]No Interference wrote:
So, I did what any true lifter would do: I used Muscle & Fitness for toilet paper.

:D[/quote]

Cool.

What I’d like to know: Which of the Weider Principles wipes the best?

The Flushing Training Principle is probably useful. And avoiding the Burns Training Principle is probably best if you want to sit down later.

The Superspeed Principle comes in handy if you’re in a hurry, but you might miss a few chunks.

#11

[quote]No Interference wrote:
So I took a huge dump today at the gym and I found out two things:

  1. My gym apparently doesn’t stock the restrooms with necessities during afternoon hours.

and

  1. They keep Muscle and Fitness as local reading material.

So, I did what any true lifter would do: I used Muscle & Fitness for toilet paper.

:D[/quote]

i hope you only used 1 page. sheryl crow thanks you.

#12

[quote]robo1 wrote:
No Interference wrote:
So I took a huge dump today at the gym and I found out two things:

  1. My gym apparently doesn’t stock the restrooms with necessities during afternoon hours.

and

  1. They keep Muscle and Fitness as local reading material.

So, I did what any true lifter would do: I used Muscle & Fitness for toilet paper.

:smiley:

i hope you only used 1 page. sheryl crow thanks you.
[/quote]

HAHHAHAHA, the transcending thread phenomenon strikes again!

#13

[quote]No Interference wrote:
Well I was the only one in there and I’m glad too, because the magazine paper not only tore up my anus, it didn’t really do its job (it doesn’t even make good toilet paper!), so I had to make a mad dash for the brown paper towels. Those weren’t much better on the old pooper but I at least got clean enough to go work out.[/quote]

Next time, wad the sheet up and flatten it out several times before use. This will make it softer and more pliable. Or just poop before you go to the gym.

#14

[quote]No Interference wrote:
Well I was the only one in there and I’m glad too, because the magazine paper not only tore up my anus, it didn’t really do its job (it doesn’t even make good toilet paper!), so I had to make a mad dash for the brown paper towels. Those weren’t much better on the old pooper but I at least got clean enough to go work out.[/quote]

You need to crumple it well first.

#15

I always knew that magazine went hand-in-hand with shit.

#16

Muscle and shitness.

#17

I give you a D for shitter awareness and an A+ for resourcefulness.

#18

So my old gym closed down, and I had to join a 24 hour fatness because there’s nowhere else to work out until I go back to University.

Well, I was doing some heavy squats so I had to take a shit. I go into the restroom, and it smells like someone’s ass exploded; I guess someone else was doing heavy squats, too (yeah, right…more like 500 leg extensions with 20 lbs). I open a stall door, and sitting right on top of the toilet seat is a giant shit log. WHAT THE FUCK? It had peanuts in it and everything. I was paralyzed for a few seconds, then I shut the door and went to the next stall.

OH MY GOD there was another piece of shit on the toilet seat. It also had peanuts in it. That means some fuckin’ dude not only shat on top of a public toilet seat, he did it twice, on two different toilets! I went into the third and final stall and there was AMAZINGLY no giant pieces of nutty shit there, so I got to crap in relative peace with my shirt over my face to mask the horrid stench of human waste mere feet from my nostrils.

So I go out to the lobby, and I get the manager, and I say “do you know what’s in your men’s locker room?” He says, “What?” I say, “Two gigantic pieces of shit. Sitting on the toilets.” Any guesses what his response is?

“I know. We’re working on it.”

I hate commercial gyms so much.

#19

Thread about wiping your ass with a magazine +
thread getting bumped over a year later +
thread being bumped over a year later by the OP +
thread being bumped over a year later by the OP for an arguably even funnier public shitting story…

=

…AWESOME!

#20

rofl