So my old gym closed down, and I had to join a 24 hour fatness because there’s nowhere else to work out until I go back to University.
Well, I was doing some heavy squats so I had to take a shit. I go into the restroom, and it smells like someone’s ass exploded; I guess someone else was doing heavy squats, too (yeah, right…more like 500 leg extensions with 20 lbs). I open a stall door, and sitting right on top of the toilet seat is a giant shit log. WHAT THE FUCK? It had peanuts in it and everything. I was paralyzed for a few seconds, then I shut the door and went to the next stall.
OH MY GOD there was another piece of shit on the toilet seat. It also had peanuts in it. That means some fuckin’ dude not only shat on top of a public toilet seat, he did it twice, on two different toilets! I went into the third and final stall and there was AMAZINGLY no giant pieces of nutty shit there, so I got to crap in relative peace with my shirt over my face to mask the horrid stench of human waste mere feet from my nostrils.
So I go out to the lobby, and I get the manager, and I say “do you know what’s in your men’s locker room?” He says, “What?” I say, “Two gigantic pieces of shit. Sitting on the toilets.” Any guesses what his response is?
“I know. We’re working on it.”
I hate commercial gyms so much.