dependence. side effects. unreasonable expectations of self. realizing you’re stronger than you ever thought you could be, and knowing it’s not enough, and never will be. That kind of thing
so when I started, i went the pct route for several cycles. I ended up switching to blasting and cruising eventually because I didn’t really recover well in my last pct. and now i’m committed to a weekly pin every week for the rest of my life. Fortunately for me, I had accepted this as a likely course when I began my journey. But there are some weeks when I look at the needle and can’t stand that I have to use it.
I should add, though, that I wouldn’t take it back for myself. This is the route I needed to go for me. I’m still competing, and I want to compete at a higher and higher level for as long as I can. That’s how I justify it. I cannot imagine being able to justify it without that aspect of my life. It just isn’t worth it to try and drop a few lbs, or look a little more cut. You need to be committed to taking yourself well beyond what is naturally possible, if you’re going to go the steroid route, in my opinion. Otherwise you’re just taking unnecessary risks.