New to forum.
Just some ramblings from a middle aged man. Just turned 50.
I have always been strong. At different points in my life, I lifted weights- high school and college sports; occassionally as an adult for a few months at a time. But I always could do things strength wise (and out of the weight room) that many others could not.
There was a caveman sort of comfort in being strong: me protect family oh-oh-oh.
Several months ago, I decided that I wanted to establish some PR's for bench, squat and deadlift. So, I started lifting again, and within the past month, although I haven't gone 110% for a max, I've gotten some numbers that at least I'm not embarassed about.
I understand that these numbers aren't that big. I just started lifting again, etc etc. And these were done in my home. Im sure they wouldnt count in a contest-- and i have no plans for a contest.
I bench-- 405 x 2 would like 450
squat --- 405 x 10 im happy with this. would like to hit 20 reps
deadlift--- 500 x 1. ive never done deadlift before. really working on technique. goal is 625 by end of year.
My ultimate goal, though is to establish some marks, then lose weight.
Because, unfortunately, going along with my natural strength, is a crappy diet and an extra layer of fat.
weight about 290. ht- 6-2. haven't checked BF% but guess around 30%
As I work toward lifting goals, I will work on cleaning up my diet, but once I do reach lifting goals, my focus will be to no longer look like the before picure.
Right now, I think 210-220 with 15% BF would be attainable
I know to get to a reasonable weight is the right thing to do.
I makes me sad though that to get down to a healthy weight, I will never be strong again. I know the tradeoff is for health and a longer life, etc. Maybe its also a sign of an inner weakness in me that associates who I am with strength. Maybe a sense of loss as I transition into the next phase of my life.
No issues with the rest of my life-- good family, job, etc. And I know I can change my lifting goals to rather than raw numbers to "now I can deadlift 2x BW"
My question for the group is have any of you felt a similiar sense of loss with large weight loss? Or loss of stength? Or am I over analyzing.