Used to be this way, until I realised my prior patterns of though left me paralyzed in fear from time to time over the silliest of events. You need to live, learn, experience new things, get out of your comfort zone every once in a while.
It can seem daunting, frightening even yet I’ve anecdotally found leaving my comfort zone and loosening up has done wonders for allowing me to make friends, go out, talk to girls etc.
I used to have a tendency to plan every single future event out in meticulous detail. Took a while for me to realise what goes on during my day to day routine isn’t a rigid structure. Events are amenable to changing, people cancel plans, injuries occur (gym), sometimes we can’t make certain deadlines. With meticulous planning over even the smallest of details any and all brief changes towards our daily routine can serve to throw off our entire continuum. “Life” is akin to a fluid medium, it’s good to have an end goal, but you’ll hit a few bumps/make a few turns down the line.
For me, getting out of my comfort zone started with tiny, tiny changes a whiiillle back; like making my own doctors appointments, going out to semi crowded environments (movie theatres etc), briefly talking to members of the opposite sex within professional, controlled environments. Over years this progressed to me attending concerts and festivals (sometimes even going solo), going on dates/hooking up, going to bars, clubs, academic functions and private gatherings, being able to introduce myself to strangers etc. It took YEARS, and even now sometimes I can slip up and say something awkward! But I’m MUCH better than I used to be.
I’m aware not all on the spectrum are identical to one another; but it’s food for thought. Practice, practice, practice… Thats more/less what worked for me.
Initially my baseline levels of anxiety shot through the roof. After repeated bouts of purposefully making myself uncomfortable I came to realise my fears were at times… slightly irrational.
Keep in mind, I’m not one to exactly be taking life advice from. I am by no means a saint, nor do I have my “shit together”, though I do believe my approach has mitigated a lot of unnecessary anxiety (for me). That being said I am employed, I’m going to university (and will soon be living by myself). I have a quasi end goal in mind career/profession wise. At the moment I’m taking things one day at a time; a motto of “relative indifference” towards the little things has reduced my affinity towards ruminating, procrastination and obsessive thinking substantially.