IMO, it’s like every other facet of training, you have to work out what gets you to your goals yourself. I don’t think blindly taking a deload every month because “you need to deload” is necessarily the ideal situation… but then again maybe it is. You have to find a way to be objective about it. Personally, deloads set me back in strength initially, but set me up for PRs down the road.
For instance, my first PL meet, I deloaded the week prior, as recommended by a ton of people. I sucked at the meet, and went on to bust gym PRs in the following month. My last meet I didn’t deload and performed a lot better, didn’t set any PRs the next month in training. One step back, two steps forward kinda thing. Also I’ve noticed a few things that destroy my recovery more than others, and I can choose to avoid them or deload more.
As far as whats acceptable for a deload week: yes, I personally think it’s 100% fine to not even go to the gym. I think it’s fine to sit on the couch and do nothing for a deload. Just keep in mind that if that’s your method, you probly don’t need 7 days of it. Most people on this site aren’t gonna tend to rationalize laziness but keep an eye on it.
How I’ve personally deloaded for the most part is letting life give me time off. On vacation for a week? I’ll find a local gym and go do a few lighter days. Holidays? Train harder prior and after, and enjoy festivities. It’s not ideal, but my schedule doesn’t really allow an alternative. I’d say overall I’ve “deloaded” slightly more than necessary, as there has only been a few times where I felt I needed one.