T Nation

Thought that the guys would enjoy this...

I never have quite figured out why the sexual urges of men & women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Mars & Venus thing. And I never have figured out why men think with their head and women with their
heart. And I never yet have figured out how the sexual desire gene gets thrown into a state of turmoil when it hears the words “I do.” One evening last week, my wife and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up but she eventually says, “I don’t feel like it, I just want you to hold me.” I said, “WHAT??” So she says the words that I and every husband on the planet dreads. She explains that I must not be in tune with her emotional needs as a Woman. I’m thinking, “What was her first clue?” I finally
realized that nothing was going to happen that night, so I went to sleep. The very next day the we went shopping at a big department store… I walked around while she tried on three very expensive outfits. She couldn’t
decide which one to take, so I told her to take all three of them. She then tells me that she wants matching shoes worth $200 each to which I say OK. And then we go to the Jewelry Dept. where she gets a set of diamond
earrings. Let me tell you …she was so excited. She must have thought that I was one wave short of a shipwreck, but I don’t think she cared. I think she was testing me when she asked for a tennis bracelet because she doesn’t
even play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I told her that it was OK. She was almost sexually excited from all of this and you should have seen her face when she said, “I’m ready to go, let’s go to the cash register.” I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, “No, honey. I don’t feel
like buying all this stuff now.” You should have seen her face … it went completely blank. I then said, “Really honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while.” And just when she had this look like she was going to
kill me, I added, “You must not be in tune with my financial needs as a Man.” I figure that I should be having sex again sometime during the spring thaw.

Hats off to you. Absolutely ingenious! I can only imagine her reaction. Wear gloves when you workout and take care of your hand, bc you will be very close w/it for the next few months. Well done though.

Which spring? Any way, I laughed my ass off reading that. FUNNY!

LOL - That is the funniest thing I have ever heard of. I will have to show my wife that tonight.

I have NEVER EVER believed that sexual urges were gender related. I believe differences to be due to the individual. My libido is just as strong as my boyfriend (sometimes stronger) - and neither do I need for him to buy me “stuff” to “prove” his love and devotion to me and neither do either of us need to use sex for that reason.

I’ll second that ‘which spring’ question.

LOL! You’re a freakin’ genius. What a way to get payback for your wife not being in tune with your wants and needs as a guy. Hey, turnaround is fair game! Maybe now she will understand your needs a little more.

If you think you significant other’s libido is off track from yours I’ll be willing to bet that she is on the pill. I had the same problem, I couldn’t understand the loss of libido. She came off the pill for other reasons and wow…big change. That damn pill is one of the best contraceptives out there because just because you end up not getting any….just my 2 cents

I read that joke on twistedhumor.com .

Let’s see if I got this straight - your wife didn’t put out for you because she wasn’t in the mood, so you deliberately tempt her then drop a ton of bricks on her as revenge.

Sorry, this sounds like the actions of a petulent child. You would have had a far better chance of getting some [which appears to be your ultimate goal] if you had shown her
the affection she wanted at the time.

Tell me, if you were at work and you didn’t get instant gratification over something you wanted would you then set this person up to take a fall just to “teach them a lesson”.

As the others have said, get to know your hand well.

youre telling me that those tennis bracelets (with diaminds and gold in ems) are used while playing tennis? freaky

JRC, I think Iscariot is rude to call you names. You only did to her what she did to you, and you made your point in a masterful way. You should be applauded, not criticized. I too will not be getting any for awhile, so I sympathize with you. You were talking about the differences between men and women. What do you people think about this. Me and my wife disagree on this issue. I said that most if not all guys want to have sex with girls they find to be hot. She said only young immature boys think that way. I say even 40 year old relatively happily married men still want to have sex with Baywatch girls. Im not saying theyre going to, or that they would ever do it, but they want to. How would she know what men want? But maybe shes right. What do you think?

JRC, that was absolutely CLASSIC!

While this is funny, I don’t think JRC actually did this. I’ve read this joke before. Of course, he could always have emulated it…

Do I use this with my own wife or do I show her the post? Hmmmmmm…

simply genius. funny too. But, my bet is next spring for you my man…

First of all, bullshit story. Second of all, you are equating physical/emotinal intamacy with material things - they do not compare.

By any chance… are you married to JRC? :wink: PS: JRC is a hack and fraud for using this story as his own.

First, good story whether true or not. Second, Michelle, you are mistaken. Physical objects are a part of every relationship, whether you buy them for each other, together, or in the more traditional relationship described in the story (joke?). Most women want to know that their man will take care of them in a basic sense, as well as buy them trinkets. Please, try to tell me that you aren’t pleased if your sweetie shows up with flowers or a small gift, “just because”. And then try to tell me you won’t be more likely to give it up that night. Sorry, I ain’t buying it.

Bullshit. I do not expect to be taken care of. And neither do I expect my man to come home with “trinkets” (flowers die, and well, I can by my own candie or chocolates). I’m just happy to spend time with him and he with me. And if you knew our schedule, you’d understand. No strong relationship is built out of material things. Material things can be replaced - they are expendable. My man is not.