T Nation

Thought of the Night: Kicked in the Nuts


Women get all the credit for enduring pain. I say fuck that! Fuck your period and pregnancy. During your "yime of the month", people feel sorry for you...and oh god, the pampering pregnant women get...

Now, to real pain

A guy on the ground clutching his nuts crying...while everyone laughs and videotapes the tears? Yea, TORTURE!!! And, after the swelling and fucked up stomach pain subsides...there's always the thought and knowledge that one day someone...somewhere is buying steel toe boots with the sole purpose of booting your boys.....and it WILL happen...and you may end up on a "home video show" to be mocked for eternity.

periods vs nut shots


It sounds like you're getting YOUR period, Batgirl.


My little thing about women using child birth as a proof of toughness is that they fail as there's certainly a lot of screaming and gnashing of teeth and taking of epidurals and I wouldn't say they tolerate child birth so much as endure it.
I mean if a guy said he's tough because he sky-dives I may agree...but not if he screamed and cried the whole time and begged for it to stop.


as a rugby player, i get hit in the niagras all the time. Most of the time its just banter in training, but i would imagine childbirth is worse, considering it lasts for hours and hours... then the real pain starts.


The only thing worse that that would be to get kicked in the nuts while giving birth!
Wait, what?


Nnnnnaaaa I got to side with women on this one.This is some bull shit pain they have to deal with from mother nature. They can't blame or get payback for that pain.
If some one ATTEMPTs to nut shot ME I have it will Hurt (yes even the attempt hurts) but At least I know once the shock is over I have some to take my pain out on. And there will be one foot fucker hopping around sending the message that nut kicking for laughs is not a good idea.


Theres a study out there, somewhere, that says the pain of childbirth is exceeded by a kidney stone, and I've seen testimonials from wimminz who have had both - they'd rather do the baby again than the stone.



The thing with childbirth is that you know for 9 months that there will be hours of labor and excruciating pain. A stone, you don't know WTF is going on and there is not all that mental prep time. Childbirth wasn't that bad, BTW.


My Mom had a rare problem where the umbilical cord would not detach.. and it would tear off parts of inside her (idk what it would be exactly)... but with all 3 of her children this happened and she almost bled to death. I imagine any pain I feel in this life won't compare!

Getting kicked in the nuts definitely sucks though. Especially when it is so hard you don't feel it in your nuts... your gut just feels like a knife is being twisted into it, instantly.


Plus, the "pain delay" that follows immediately after the initial contact that lets you know that you're in deep shit, very soon.


Haha.. and the panic that comes when you know it is coming.


Ah.... yes. I remembered, then edited my post:)


My girlfriend didn't feel hardly anything. They give girls a nice shot of something nowadays.


I've heard this as well. My dad has had something like 8 kidney stones. I swear, if that shit is genetic and I get stones when I'm older I'm going to have him put in a retirement home to die.


If you get them, do your kids a favor....and don't have any.


x2. My mum has had them 4 times.. i'm hoping it isnt genetic


I was watching a comedian/tv show the other day, i forget who it was, may be been Russel Howard (British Comic) talking about the top 5 most painful things (Child birth came 2nd, beaten by a kick to the nuts). One story he told, which i'm sceptical as to whether it's true or not but still makes me cringe is his friend dislocating his leg at the hip during football (or soccer, if you must). apparently a paramedic ran onto the pitch to pop it back into place, not knowing his testicle had slipped into the hip socket. I think you get the idea.

What also got me thinking was his point on how childbirth can't be that bad because from an evolutionary standpoint it makes no sense. Why make something necessary for the continuation of the species so fucking painful? If you look at most species of animals, they pop it out no problem. It could just be women making a big fuss over nothing. Obviously i'm not in a great position to comment and am not saying it's not painful, it's just a thought. But i do refuse to believe it's more painful than something not meant to happen, i.e Kidney stones, being shot, having your arm bitten off, standing on a plug etc.


Jesus, testicle into the hip socket? I think we have a winner


In the red trunks, we have reigning champ "agony of childbirth"... in the blue trunks, we have challenger "kicked in the nuts"...

Both will emerge from hospital carrying a small bundle. Only one will be happy.