T Nation

Thought of the Day - Horror Movies


#1

Has anyone else noticed that cell phones suddenly do not work in every single fucking movie where using a phone would end the movie?

Hell, do any of you even know people under the age of 35 who don't have cell phones stuck to their bodies?

Exactly how long can they pretend in movies that entire areas of this country don't have cell phone towers yet these are the exact same places that "movie-teens" end up before Michael Meyers strikes?

Also, yes, you look insane like a cheap Halloween cyborg wannabe when you gab on your blue tooth ear piece all day long. Why the hell do you want everyone in your conversation and when did these become fashion statements?

I have seen 3 ladies today NOT on the phone with this in their ear. Did earrings suddenly get way more ugly with lights?


#2

Well, if they happen to have AT&T coverage, then I'm not surprised they don't have coverage when they need it.......

AT&T coverage is like a mini-horror movie with every phone call.

:confused:


#3

I think their phones don't work because, statistically speaking, most horror movie victims are ATT costumers.

EDIT: steelyd you SOB!! FTR there were no replies when I made my post!


#4

Both of those are fantastic points, and things that I gripe about every time I see a scary movie or moron with a bluetooth.

What gets under my skin even more, about horror movies is this...

Have you ever watched a supposedly scary movie that is rated PG-13?...Why the hell would you make a movie, and put the characters in insanely frightening/dangerous/shocking situations, knowing full well that they're not allowed to say "fuck"? If I ever come face-to-face with a serial killer, who is actively trying to take my life, you can bet that my speech will be littered with "FUCK"s. Even the cleanest-mouthed folks in the world wouldn't be able to resist spitting out a "Holy fucking shit!" in that situation.


#5

Out of all of the cheese ball gimmickry that movie producers and directors have come up with, the idiot with a cellphone that doesn't work is the one I hate the most. There is nothing more predictable, and once it has been dispensed with to illustrate that help is not coming, that should be it. But no, they have to use it fifty freakin times through out the film because product placement trumps film making talent and entertainment value.

Next is blacking out the set for the entire movie. That doesn't make it scary. That makes it cheap and unwatchable, because Surprise! it's dark, and film is a visual media.


#6

If that's the reason it's a poor advertising method. If a Nokia phone actually worked when the protagonist used it and the cops came round straight away, found the killer and mentioned something along the lines of ''thank god your connection was so clear we could hear every detail you told us and were able to react in minutes'' then I might be swayed towards a Nokia. If it fails constantly and gets everyone butchered, then not so much


#7

That shit may have worked in maybe the first few scary movies of the 90's....but honestly, every "B" scary movie on Netflix involves cell phones that don't work UNLESS the killer is already in the house calling the victims.

They HAVE to create a new gimmick because cell phones are here now and, like has been mentioned, only AT&T customers should be in them.


#8

I just hate how stupid they make everyone in every horror film...ok. So there's a killer who murders anyone who gets seperated from the group?..."Hey guys, I'm going to go take a shower in the isolated dimly lit building that's 400 yards away."

or

"I saw a suspicious movement. I better go check it out" (dies horribly 30 seconds later)


#9

Well, I have T-mobile. They have zero coverage in the archaic solid brick nursing home I work in. So if those who have died in that building came back (and that would be a lot of people) I would be fucked. Lucky, most of my nurse aides have Verizon, so unless they are out smoking, I'd be okay.


#10

Well, typically when you watch a movie about a knife-wielding, jumpsuit-wearing, super-stealthy psychopath who manages to stalk his fleeing victims moving no faster than a comfortable stride and who is seemingly impervious to explosions and bullets... there is this weird expectation that you are going to suspend your disbelief for the duration of the flight.

I have Verizon and it wasn't uncommon to not have service in my old town, particularly when indoors.


#11

Anyone seen Wolf Creek? I think that was a pretty good use of the "cell phone doesn't work out here" bit. I know I've seen a lot of movies that apply it well, I can't remember them all right now. I think Storm Warning was another one.

I haven't seen a good horror move in ages though. Horror movies haven't really been any good since I was a kid though, and those were the old school slasher flicks. Back then it worked, not so much today.


#12

You should watch "Behind the mask: The rise of Leslie Vernon", where the killer gives an insight into his training, moaning about the massive amounts of cardio he has to do, since he can only be seen with a seemingly comfortable stride and still has to keep up with his victims.


#13

I love that scene! Movie is great too.

People wearing blue tooth headsets should get punched if they're not actively using it.


#14

We used to not have any cell service by any provider in our apt. We both have Verizon and since they put in FIOS our service actually works. So if any knife-wielding, mask-wearing psychopath in a jumpsuit with a limp tries to kill me, I'll be able to dial 911...except that my phone always asks me "are you SURE you want to make an emergency call?" So I might get knicked before the cops get here.


#15

One you forgot X is the cat scare, is it like in the Scary movies for dummies series? Every time you have to have that scene with the cat jumping out, que Cat launcher.


#16

Exactly. Why the hell do all scary houses either have a big fucking cat living there by itself or a rat the size of one? Is the ASPCA aware of all of this?


#17

If you don't suspend disbelief almost completely, 90% of movies are unwatchable.


#18

That much is understood, HOWEVER, this is an OVERUSED gimmick and that is the discussion. For instance, the "bathroom mirror scare tactic where the actor looks in the mirror, opens the cabinet, closes it and then there is someone behind them" has been used so many times that they now use that but don't show anything afterwards because they KNOW we expect it.

For some reason, they are still using the cell phone gimmick when it has been used in scary movies since the 90's.

It may be time to come up with a scary situation that can happen even with a cell phone because otherwise, this shit will be unrelatable to anyone in a few more years.

Get it?


#19

Being dragged backwards and your finger nails get pulled out.

Pulling up lame, usually an ankle and saying "you go on without me"

I enjoy and expect these situations :slightly_smiling:

PX: I watched The Decent on the weekend and yes I agree with you(I think it was you), it was pretty good. Great gore factor.

edit/Both situations I mentioned occured in the movie lol.


#20

Yeah, the backwards pull and finger nail yank is still cool and not completely overused...unlike things like that flying cat out of nowhere.

Also, the "let me touch this person on the shoulder in the dark without telling them it's me so they jump ten feet as a jump scare" tactic is old as hell as well. Who the fuck does that?

How many people do you just grab on the shoulder before you make it known that you are standing there?