T Nation

This Week's Sign of the Apocolypse

Not to be outdone by Tony Little and his revolutionary Gazelle, ThermoSpas has released “The Aquasicor.”

Yes, you too can enjoy the benefits of strength training and work virtually every muscle in your body all in the comfort of your very own Hot Tub!

http://www.thermospas.com/aquacisor.php

I stumbled across the info-mercial for this fine product while channel surfing the other night. I was hooked; locked in for a full 30 minutes of hilarity. I hope many of you will have the pleasure of seeing it for yourself soon very soon.

I think I’ll make that call and request my free DVD and informational brochure. I want to be the 1st one on my block to own one of these bad boys…

What?

No squats?

[quote]Rattler wrote:
What?

No squats?[/quote]

Absolutely! Just attach the patented Resistance Bands to one of the strategically positioned couplings and bob in and out of the water like a freakin’ moron!

Every Aquacisor comes complete with 9, yes 9, resistance bands for progressive loading and maximum muscle fiber recruitment.

You too can look like an asshole for the low, introductory price of $3,999.99!

I can look like an asshole for alot less than that.

could you not just buy a hot tub for 1000 dollars and have sex in it. better workout and cheaper.

Scott

[quote]MaximusB wrote:
I can look like an asshole for alot less than that.[/quote]

Amen my friend…

Just rock a pair of over-sized water wings and flail away in the kiddie pool - short bus style.

The first person to buy one of those should try those upside down shoulder pushups and do them untill failure, preferably death.

[quote]Rattler wrote:
The first person to buy one of those should try those upside down shoulder pushups and do them untill failure, preferably death.[/quote]

Or wrap the #9 resistance band around their neck and push the chair over. You know, work the neck and what not.

[quote]Polish Rifle wrote:
Rattler wrote:
The first person to buy one of those should try those upside down shoulder pushups and do them untill failure, preferably death.

Or wrap the #9 resistance band around their neck and push the chair over. You know, work the neck and what not.[/quote]

For added resistance, do it underwater!

However, in all honesty I wish I had invented that. Tons of rich idiots are gonna shell out their pocket money on that.

The fitness market is so easy to profit on these days, all you need is a silly idea that looks effective and you will sell.

[quote]Rattler wrote:
However, in all honesty I wish I had invented that. Tons of rich idiots are gonna shell out their pocket money on that.

The fitness market is so easy to profit on these days, all you need is a silly idea that looks effective and you will sell.[/quote]

You hit the nail on the head; hence the title to my thread. They will sell thousands of these.

The funniest thing is you could probably just add a few grommets to a regular old spa and bring your fag bands with you the next time you felt like taking a dip. The make it seem so revolutionary.

You really need to try and see the infomercial - it’s fucking hilarious watching fit people performing rows and curls. The commentary makes it even better.

I thought this was the biggest waste of money I’ve ever seen:

http://www.slimvibes.com/Vibration_Machine_pro615a.html

But this doesn’t even quote you a price, so it could be twice as expensive as the $3500 vibraslim.

I think I’ll make a belt with resistance straps attached to it, then I’ll hire Billy Mays to promote it on an infomercial, I’ll call it the Puppet 3000 and sell it for $3,000, I’ll make a fortune.

[quote]MaximusB wrote:
I can look like an asshole for alot less than that.[/quote]

QFT.

I look like an asshole right now, and I didn’t pay anything.

[quote]boyscout wrote:
MaximusB wrote:
I can look like an asshole for alot less than that.

QFT.

I look like an asshole right now, and I didn’t pay anything.[/quote]

I think this looks pretty assholic.

[quote]Yo Momma wrote:
boyscout wrote:
MaximusB wrote:
I can look like an asshole for alot less than that.

QFT.

I look like an asshole right now, and I didn’t pay anything.

I think this looks pretty assholic.
[/quote]

I just like how they’ve distinguished between ‘jog’, ‘row’, and ‘exercise’, on the right side of the page.

So wait, you’re telling me that not only can I jog and row in that thing, but I can also exercise!? No way!

I could have SWORN that jogging and rowing were forms of exercise, but apparently not. A resistance-band bench press while sitting in a bubbly hot tub, however, definitely is, apparently.

[quote]Yo Momma wrote:
I think this looks pretty assholic.
[/quote]

Assholic? LMFAO!

This machine was said to have added 2" to Chuck Norris’ beard.

Wait you guys are missing the beauty of this revolutionary device! It seats 9! Yes thats right 9, I’m starting my own health club with this thing, right in my own back yard.

9 people sessons at $35 per class, carry the 6, this would pay for itself in a month and I’ll be FN HAAAUUUGGEEEE!!! I sure hope the phone lines are open, cause I’m calling now.

I like to keep my workouts and my baths separate, thank you.

I own a hot tub and I hate the fucking thing.
Although I do love seeing my wife in it.

Balls.