Do you think she might grow her uterus back for this special occasion? Ya know, like a crazy ex girlfriend kinda thing.
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Stranger things have happenedā¦
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Lol! Missed that partā¦
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Opening a package of turkey bacon and the package splits open below the ziplock so you have to wrap it up in something else again.
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Just opening a package of turkey bacon would piss me off.
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Roid rage?
This would piss me off too ā¦ Pork bacon or no bacon
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Maybe you could find a soy substitute then.
Let me reiterate - pork bacon or no bacon.
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Now you speak a my language. I just like bacon in general, no discrimination here. =]
Thatās fair. I find turkey bacon to be lacking in flavor that Iāve only found in pork bacon.
Alright so I was at a family dinner, and I was drinking a beer because I like the taste (keep in mind the legal drinking age is 18 here and Iām 17 going on 18, 16 on private property and I was on private property).
I take a second beer, becauseā¦ Why not and the entire table starts shitting on me because Iām underage, telling me in screwing up my brain (I am well aware of the risks underage drinking has, however Iām not getting drunk, I only get tipsy about once a year.) What pissed me off was that one of the people giving me shit was an 18 year old girl who was DRUNK while she was lecturing me, Jesus Christ get off your fucking high horse mate you arenāt better than me, just mind your own business and get on with life, me drinking a beer isnāt harming anyone but myself, and I like the taste of beer, the only drink I prefer to it is soda water (which apparently a lot of people donāt like). I probably drink 1 beer every week, it isnāt like I binge drink like 99 percent of kids my age here do, nor do I use weed, LSD, MDMA, shrooms, methamphetamine or any of the similar things that tons and tons of kids my age seem to be into.
Rabbi Schwartz was plagued by swine.
Specifically, he was dying to eat pork. It had been driving him crazy for 20 years.
So he resolved to go eat some.
Of course, he couldnāt just go to town and buy some. He went to the next town over, made reservations at an exclusive French restaurant (table for one) on a Tuesday under a fake name.
He got there, and sure enough, right there on the menu was exactly what he was looking for: suckling pig. He ordered it and began steeling his nerves with a bit of wine.
The pig, when it arrived was majestic! A small whole pig on a silver platter, apple in its mouth, draped wonderfully with herbs and spices. It smelled heavenly.
Just as the Rabbi was about to take his first bite, who should walk in? Dr. Golding, the President of the shul!
Shocked, Dr. Golding exclaimed, āRabbi! what are you doing?!ā
Thinking fast, Rabbi Schwartz responded āI ordered an apple! And look how they brought it to me!ā
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is this an option?
mindblown
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All better than alcohol
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Itās more or less a myth. An old wives tail. Itās something to strive for but most will never attain.
sigh
i figured as much~
If I take the time to write a whole 2 sentences in an email READ THE FUCKING EMAIL. God damn it.
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Millennials did it!
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Nope! You canāt make me!