Arguing on the internet is like competing in the Special Olympics. Even if you win, you’re still retarded.
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My research advisor has OCD- he literally threatened to stop working with me because I kept misplacing punctuation, misspelling stuff or using inconsistent formatting
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Quite true but yet there are some who just have to get the last word in. It’s a wounded pride thing for a lot of people. There are also others out there where that may be the highlight of their day. Who am I to take away that happiness from them?
That does sound annoying Anna.
See I promised some of the other members I would drop it with you. I am a man of my word. If you still want to continue this. PM me, start another thread or whatever you want to do. I won’t derail this thread anymore on account of someone who has a hard on for me.
You don’t see the irony of this do you? 
Which ones? The ones I quoted as proof of your lack of self knowledge, or some other ones you have but aren’t using?
There are a lot of words my man. You’re going to have to be more specific. And accurate.
A life man. Get one!
and
And…
Ohhhh, spiked the ball at the one yard line!
Damn.
Bruh you ain’t kiddin’; it’s painful to watch someone so seemingly disconnected from themselves.
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Had an employee dip out on me and a deadline this afternoon b/c his dog “got into a pill bottle and ate some ibuprofen” and he had to go to the emergency vet. Legit reason, right?
His dog weighs 80lbs, and apparently ate a single fucking pill, and this nimrod freaked out. JFC. The vet apparently told him to just go home.
I can relate to your posts about this considering, and as I’ve stated on this forum before, from about twelve years old until my late thirties had people either commenting on my face or asking what’s wrong, in the workplace and at social gatherings.
When in a neutral mood, which is much of the day, my face looks serious. I cannot do anything about this and at times when I was annoyed at such comments I sometimes snidely remarked “You can buy me plastic surgery if you want my face restructured,” and when asked what’s wrong, would sometimes reply, “I don’t know. How about you tell me?”
One time at m cousin’s wedding, I did not eat my main course because I wasn’t hungry because I was satisfied from the cocktail hour (I cannot stuff my face like others can at events). I was with my then-fiancé, my wife now, and some stranger woman across the table asks me, “Are you not having a good time?” I was inclined to respond, “Ya know, I sitting here with my woman, having a fine time, and I have you, a stranger, surveilling me!” At another wedding I had a wife’s relating say, “you need to smile more”. This is super annoying, especially when I had to drive a significant distance and am looking after kids and tired and feel fine.
What I don’t like about this is the feeling of being surveilled! I loathe being surveilled. I can’t stand excessive staring, people snooping in on conversations unintended for them, clearly so in some cases by my low voice and body language, or tracking my whereabouts for no reason. I once even scolded an insubordinate employee I supervise (very unlike me because I’m not confrontational) in front of my administrator and HR director, verbatim, “Don’t surveil my expressions! Don’t surveil when I go on break! Don’t surveil where I am in the building! Don’t comment on my hours worked!”
I used to have serious tension build up in me when I felt surveilled or had comments on my facial expression but I have gotten much better. Plus it happens far less these days, likely because I feel pretty darn good about my life now. I did suffer from clinical depression for a huge chunk of my life, which doesn’t lend to a chipper appearance, though most of the time I was facially neutral going about my day. But I think strangers should nevertheless not comment or if they are truly serious about being charitable to a troubled person, say something like, “Hello, how are you today?”, and simply open up a conversation.
Believe me, numerous times I’ve felt like saying to people, “WTF are you looking at?” But I don’t carry inner hostility anymore, though in recent time when a little annoyed, have actually said, “Do you need to talk to me?”
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That’s an interesting perspective on this topic, and I mean that genuinely as someone who very much values privacy. It seems you’re discussing surveillance in a maybe more innocent way, but I do think there is some sort of power dynamic in being told to smile. This gives me something more to think about, thanks.
Haha, those are good. I tend to roll my eyes and ignore it. I think that’s easier for me to do because usually strangers, rather than people I know, comment on my face rather than people I know. I still suspect that people who personally know me recognize my unamused expression but don’t point it out, thankfully. I can only imagine how frustrating it must be for you to have coworkers annoy you with these comments.
I don’t know where you live, but I think this is very much a cultural thing – an Americanism. You need to be smiling all the time, seem friendly and all. It ruins smiling’s authenticity in my opinion. People need to be allowed to be tired, to think, to have a bad day, etc. Things that don’t warrant smiling. And sometimes people are content and only smile unless they’re stoked about something.
I repeat myself here, but it still blows my mind that strangers have the audacity to single me out, approach me, and tell me they have a problem with my face. I would never do that to anyone, regardless of their age, their gender, or how well acquainted I am.
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It pisses me off when people criticize how I talk. You’d think I’d be used to it by now, but since elementary school I’ve always been made fun of for speaking clear and concise.
I didn’t understand it fully then, but I get it now.
Was dropping my niece off at her boyfriend’s, and during the ride she was FaceTiming her cousin. I was talking too, you know, making casual conversation and everything. Her cousin, so nonchalantly goes… “Are you in the car with a white person?”
My niece just went totally silent…I guess she thought I was gonna verbally express my irritation. I didn’t. After a second or two she tried to defend me saying, “Hey, don’t come for my Aunt like that”, to which her cousin said, “No, she just…speaks “proper”.”
I politely said, “It’s just how I speak. I get that a lot.”
But my whole thing is this:
By saying I, “talk like a white person”, you’re indirectly insinuating that proper pronunciation of the modern English language, and to an extent, intelligence, is seemingly only a white person “thing” (accents aside.)
On the flip side, OF THE SAME COIN, you’re also conversely, insinuating that modern African American Ebonics/phonetic slang, and to an extent lower intelligence, is seemingly only a black person “thing.” (Accents aside)
I realize that it’s not about me in all actuality. It’s not. But it’s easy for mass amounts of a particular ethnicity to keep themselves associated with an ongoing perpetuation of social stereotypes.
Why make fun of me because you associate particular word choices and vocal tones negatively with people of different ethnicities just because they’re different from you?
When…was it okay…or who…decided it was okay to let discrimination fly under the radar, under the guise of “why do you talk like that?”
High school was rough for me during the first two years going to an predominantly black high-school because I was constantly berated anytime I spoke, gave a presentation, worked in groups, etc. Once I switched towns and went to a diverse high-school, not once, was my way of speaking even the topic for a joke.
I know there’s a lot of variation in speech…phonetically speaking. Hence my whole ordeal with this particular subject.
Needless to say, I just drove silently home after dropping her off…I shouldn’t be THAT bothered. I shouldn’t. Yet I am.
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Relatable here, too. Resting bitch face is my default setting, and I am at peace with that. Unless the mood strikes me, the best you can hope to get from me is a soft grin. (What old Oakland A’s fans would call a Howegrin, named after the permanent gently bemused look on former skipper Art Howe’s face. His portrayal in Moneyball was a travesty BTW. So was Scott Hatteburg’s)
On the other hand, mild annoyances show up really well on my face.
“Wow, you’re really pissed!”
No. Just slightly annoyed. It’s not by design, I promise.
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I think the best option is to own it:
“Wow, you’re really pissed!”
“Damn right I’m pissed. Look! I can see them from here. Two pens, no lids. Three pens, lids not put back over the tip. Do you clowns have zero f’n pride in how you present yourselves to the rest of us?!?!”
Growing up in the NorCal Bay Area, I understand.
No advice, just understand.
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I’m pissed off the rest of the world is vaccinating/opening up yet Aus has transformed into a hermit nation determined to keep borders shut for international arrivals until mid 2022… and that appears to be an optimistic scenario
We still have fucking DOMESTIC border closures… We haven’t even fully vaccinated 3% of the adult population and TOTAL city/statewide shutdowns still occur over daily case loads in the single digits.
Of course most people who make such comments on others’ faces mean no offense. But I cannot relate to doing so because I don’t pay much attention to people’s faces and expressions unless I’m talking to them. Such observation and commentary on it seems inappropriate to me. What such people also don’t take into account is that some people are actually be troubled, depressed, or otherwise mentally ill and they feel alienated and inadequate as it is.
As I said, this happens to me far less now, and I usually don’t care at all, but I remember back in my depressed days, I remember getting an actual fatigued and exasperated feeling come over me from such comments.
A good part of not being affected by this or any silly comments is maturity and realizing what I have. If I think about my kids, family, wife, friends, should I be affected by silly stuff from strangers?
@dt79 Hey you didn’t have to delete way you wrote. I enjoyed seeing what you had to say, and things relating to your personal struggles as well. I’m always open to discussions like that.
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Nah, I wouldn’t call them “struggles”, just ranting. And I realized I don’t want to reveal too much stuff online, that’s all lol.