Buncha cunts, all of you
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I looked on my way out this afternoon, and sure enough, āfined or towed.ā
I suppose Iāll continue my crime spree until something actually happens, at which time I will probably ask my husband to trade cars, let the heat cool for a bit, and then decide my next move.
I hear you but the escalator stairs standers donāt bother me much. What does though is the horizontal escalators standers in Airports. WTF. Youāre walking along, you come across a platform thats moving and if you walk on it you move the distance twice as fast but oh no, some fucking muppetās just stop walking. I hate those bastards.
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Itās fine if they stand to the fucking SIDE, but when Iām walking at supernatural speed and some asshat has their shit gumming up the path, I get all rage-y.
What I really want to do is run on one. I know it would feel like the awesome running dreams I have occasionally, where I can go really fast and cover amazing distances and never get winded. But then at the end Iād probably kill myself coming off the thing, because thereās that weird stutter even when youāre walking.
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You seem surprised by thisā¦
I take the same approach to these as I do escalators ā¦ fuck you for making me feel inferior ā¦
Iāve done this - I suggest you give it a try but it wasnāt as exhilarating as I had originally imagined
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Iāve never had this dream. I always have had the ācanāt run any faster, oh shit, my legs are stuck and the bad guys will get me. oh no, theyāre one step away andā¦Iām awake.ā
I want to walk backwards at the exact speed it is travelling forwards, achieving the worldās most perfect moonwalk.
My equivalent of this is Iāll be having a dream where I can fly, so Iām flying about like it aināt no thang. Then Iāll land for whatever reason and be confronted by some sort of danger, so I think to myself āno big deal - Iāll simply fly off to safety! Wait a minuteā¦ itās not workingā¦ oh my god Iāve lost my power and Iām going to diiiieeeeeeā¦ā
And then I wake up
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Talking of dreams and being pissed off. I underwent a minor op a couple of years ago. When I was under I was dreaming I was headlining Burning Man and had just finished my set and was leaving to go backstage to the gang of beauties waiting for me when the nurse woke me up. Best dream I ever had. When I told her she ruined it for me she just laughed. What a bitch.
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You just reminded me. As a young lad, I had laughing gas to fix a chipped tooth. In the dream, I was James from āJames and the Giant Peachā. A few weeks later, I got in a fight, tooth popped out again, get it fixed, laughing gas, Iām James again. To this day, 23 years later, if I get high and fall asleep, Iām a fucking cartoon from the 90s talking to bugs in a giant peach.
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Thatās cool as fuck! If you ever come to Scotland Iām getting you loaded on nitrous.
I had a recurring zombie dream for years. It was like my brainās default ending to a dream when it couldnāt be arsed to think of something original.
Like, Iād be dreaming about something totally innocuous and unrelated to zombies like sitting drinking a cup of tea somewhere, and itās like my brain would think āfuck it - I have no idea where Iām going with this so just send in the zombies.ā
Many a sex dream ruined by a zombie apocalypse.
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Iāve done this, and as @polo77j said of running on one, not as much fun as Iād hoped. Instead, I think you should do this:
Edit: it even has a bicep kiss! Perfect blending of interests (gunz and moonwalking).
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I can hear you coming, cause of the whistling and tapping.
I know it irritates your more than the whistling and tapping irritates meā¦so there I stand, still, on an escalatorā¦
ā¦knowingly escalating the situation.
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I want to do the back kick ā¦ hopefully no one is behind me but if they are, thatās on them
I use escalators reluctantly and generally walk with it, but come to a complete stop prior to getting off. When I was little my mom told me the story (presumably apocryphal) of a kid with a lose shoelace that got it stuck in the escalator and then got his foot ground off. I suspect the reason for this is I was forgetful about shoelaces, in general, but it scared the crap out of me.
Still wary and definitely check my shoelaces (and do my kids, as Iāve passed on this phobia to my children like a good Jew).
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My Jewish mother told me the same thing. I think I may actually have checked into it at some point and confirmed that it was a danger, but not sure whether it is currently. Okay, I checked and yes, DANGER DANGER DANGER you can still get sucked underā¦
About 10,000 escalator-related injuries per year result in emergency department treatment in the United States. (www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov 2013)
My children are wary, too, I would imagine. Another thing my mother got worked up about was feathers - we werenāt allowed to pick them up because they were ādirty, and possibly diseased.ā Naturally I warned my children. My husband thinks itās weird and one day while we were walking with my college-aged son asked if my son picks up feathers he sees on the ground. My son actually shuddered before issuing the party line about dirty and diseased. They repulse me, too, itās so strongly ingrained.
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A friend of mine was the claims investigator/adjuster for an airport.
Those escalators and walkways kept him busy!
Feathers were Bad around my house too. Iām thinking I remember something about tiny worms wiggling off the feathers.
Putting on someone elseās glasses would also damage your eyes.
Mother birds wouldnāt come back to the nest of you messed with it.
I feel like Iām forgetting a couple Super Dangerous ones.