T Nation

Things That Make You Want to Go on a Killing Spree


#1
  1. Fuckers at the gym who stand right in front of you, Get the fuck out of my way.

I'm using a Smith machine (gasp) i know, fuck it, i like to incorporate the smith for squats to hit my quads harder and take my ass out of movement. i also like to face the mirror, i've got a lot of demands at the gym, i'm a real princess. anyways, these fuckers want to stand in front of me flapping their gibs disrupting my line of sight. leg day is not a fun sunshine day for me so i ask them to move, they do, but for fuck sake i shouldn't have had to ask.

  1. Hurting yourself while you are not training.

Screwing in brackets to hold some potted flowers on the deck for my lady, i need a power screwdriver, that shit is not good for the elbow! Waking up to train shoulders with an injured shoulder because i slept on the fucker wrong, it was fine when i went to bed.

  1. Acid reflux for like the last month.

  2. The revisiting woodland creature who burrows into my ass! Prep H cooling gel is my friend. Sometimes the ass is good but once in while it's not so good. If you've never had an ass issue then you eat like a fucking pussy.

  3. I saw a guy doing preacher curls for over an hour, just preacher's, fatish guy w/ 14inch arms maybe, what the fuck is he thinking? The side obliique crunch hold a 25lb plate guy/ or lady, dumbass mother fuckers.

This type of thread has been done before, but add please...name your complaints at the gym.

Also, i hate young people, excluding hot younger women who know how to shut the fuck up. Youth most definitely should not be heard; why do young folks talk loud enough to draw attention to themselves.


#2

relax son, shit aint that serious


#3

people who do DB lateral raises 6 inches from the DB Rack.

Sometimes I try to time it so that when they're in the bottom position I go to grab the weights, you know so they get the hint. Of course, they probably think I'm the dick

People who do the "broom stick" twist


#4

You need to chill :slightly_smiling:


#5

Seriously? Your biggest complaints are:

1) some guys moved when you asked them to
2) you hurt yourself using a manual screwdriver and sleeping
3) indigestion
4) something wrong with your ass
5) some guy who wasn't bothering you
6) "young" people

Really? If that's the worst you have to worry about in life and these things make you want to go on a killing spree, maybe just start the spree with yourself. You sound like a real crotchety jackass with a ridiculous superiority complex.


#6

People who use the Smith machine never get laid.


#7

what about getting laid IN the smith machine?


#8

Doing DB Bench presses and some fucker "bumps" into the DBs and I almost lose my face.
When I finished putting the DBs down I confronted the fucker. absolutely clueless. hate people like that.


#9

You want the bar, the floor or drag up a bench and swing from some resistance bands?


#10

I got some big Fuck YOUS myself and they are as follows:

The fucking cardio bunnies who take 3 hours to get ready for the gym, get mad at me for staring at their ass (isnt that what there getting all fucking dressed up for?) decide to place their cell phone and pocket book on one bench and then use the other for some bullshit 8lb dumbell press. MOVE YOUR SHIT BITCH....

The dickhead who uses two parking spots at the parking lot of my gym cuz he drives a BMW....fuck BMWs fuck you and your underarmor gear size smmmeeeedium I just keyed your bullshit bottom of the line beemer that you signed for under your dads name.

Of course the dicks who decide to do curls at the powerack.

The fat guy who must tell me every time I go to the gym of how he used to be diesel. fucking liar...go to steam ream pump it up to 200 and stick your fat gut in the hot coals....die scumbag.

The young kid who sees the weight Im pushing up and tells me "ill be there is a few months bro!" fuck you you little fuck, Ive fucking toiled to get where I am and your gonna catch up to me in two months? fuck you and your wife beating tank top wearing jerkoffs that you hang out with.

The couple yes the couples who come down and I have to overhear how the boyfriend/husband is telling the girlfriend/wife how to exercise....almost always wrong....almost always obnoxious and I am going to jerkoff to your wife and / or girlfriend when I get home.

The old guy in the locker room who decides to strike up a conversation with his old balls hanging out.....GET DRESSED YOU AARP JERKOFF!

The other immigrant guy who likes to dry his balls with the hand dryer....this is also the same guy with all his shit all over the place in the lockeroom on the bench ... I am going to wipe my ass with your racketball racket.

the rest of you are cool...I feel better now.


#11

The guy that comes up to the squat rack next to me looks at what I'm squating and adds about 20 lbs to his bar. Then he does 1/4 of a squat and acts tough about it.

The guy curling, doing lat raises, etc... right in front of the dumbell rack.

The people that drive up to construction sites that have been warned for the last 20 miles that the right lane is closing but they decide to pass all the cars in the left lane that are waiting patiently to get though the construction zone. That pisses me off.

That's about it. I try not to let too much bother me. You can't control what other people do but you can control your reaction to it.


#12

i was in a bad mood this a.m., i feel better now, sometimes i write shit not because i'm a crazy bastard but more so because threads like this are fun!

the sleeping on the shoulder thing truly does fucking suck, but i get it, some dudes are missing limbs and not bitching about things. You can get laid and use the smith machine, i got some this afternoon!!!!

Yahooooooo bitches!!!!!!!


#13

Just bad drivers. People really need to respect the rules of the road, and other drivers. Other than that, I really don't give two shits about what other people are doing.


#14

Fat women walking slowly on the treadmill who smirk at me when I'm exhausted after 10-15 minutes of HIIT. Yeah lady, you're so goddamn superior with your three sets of tits hanging off of your chest and your ability to walk for a half an hour at a pace so slow, you're barely moving.

Guys who give me dirty looks and sigh and huff every time they walk past me as if I don't belong in the weight area. They are ALWAYS newbies and ALWAYS concentration camp skinny. Yeah buddy, there's someone in this room that doesn't belong, but it ain't me...

Queers who work out in groups of seven or more and spend more time humping each other, screaming rape, giggling like prepubescent girls and making sure to high five every member of their party after each set than they do lifting.

That's about it, but I wouldn't go on a killing spree, I just take a deep breath and tune them out.


#15

Watching movies involving killing sprees.. It puts me in da zone! Wabble Wabble Wabble!


#16

you named most of my FUCK YOUs at the gym so i'll x2 on that...

and I'll add, 140 pound scrawny jerkoffs that tell you how to lift.


#17

The 135lb guy who comes into my school gym with his tapout shirt torn down the side so everyone can see his hawt rib cage, hat on sideways, unstrapped gloves and his cell phone, comes in throws 225 on the bench sits down fires off 3-4 text messages, rolls the bar around on the rack and leaves. Or worse does a couple sets of curls then leaves the weight on the bench.

The other 135lb guy who wants to point out every little vein to me when I'm trying to pull my last heavy set of DL, I do not give a flying fuck if you can see your heart work, I'm busy you shit stain.
Finally, working nights and weekends pisses me off.


#18

HAHAHA I love it when a good thread comes along and can actually make me laugh. Glad im not guilty of any of these infractions.


#19

LOL the tap out wearers have become an epidemic at my gym , usually by the 140 pounders that you mention antz0rk, You know I respect these MMA fighters theyre definitley some tough dudes, but just because you wear a tap out shirt doesent necessarily mean your Matt Hughes and does not necessarily mean your a baddass....but it does mean it will be incredibly hysterical when someone calls your bullshit bluff.


#20

Haha good one. Definetly with you on that. I used to wear my bjj shirt but I was actually training and never pretended to be some cagefighter