Things That Make You Chuckle

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Coolsies

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I just received a FB message from a client telling me he won’t be on a conference call today. Dudes in his 50s and we aren’t FB friends
 :face_with_raised_eyebrow:

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Fucking lmao!!!

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I see kids every day like this and they don’t change. Life doesn’t change them. They just respond to every situation like a toddler. They yell, cuss, and try to fight. They’re unemployed and live with one of their girlfriends, grandma, mom, aunt, or whomever will put up with their crap. They never get it. They never figure out that they’re failures.

But you can be sure that they’ll have five or six kids who grow up just like them.

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Looks fake to me. If real I can’t imagine one of the other players not knocking his ass out immediately.

Edit nvm. Forgot what thread this was lol!

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He wasn’t really born with a potato for a heart.

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Practicing my dad jokes and intentionally misusing common slang around the high school boys that I coach, reactions are priceless :joy:
“Hey boys, that was a pretty swaggy drill, need to bring up the intensity though.”
“Coach
swaggy means like
cool.”
“Oh so you dribbling the ball of your toe wasn’t very swaggy, was it? Like that?”

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I’m listening / watching a British dude talking about what it means to be a business analyst through Lynda (for CPE) at 2x speed. Hilarious.

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“Snip snip mutha pupper”

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Saw this and laughed, then thought “old school Eminem” was an oxymoron because he’s only been around for, like, 5 years or so. Then I realized, no, he’s been around for almost 20 and holy shit I felt old.

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I had a Soundbombing mixtape when I was in high school from like '98 that had an Eminem freestyle on it (around or right before he got really big) 
 let that sink in. It also had Mos Def, Talib Kweli, Pharoa Monch, Grand Puba, etc. I need to dig that back out, that was a fucking great mixtape

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Asshole lol now I feel old. 20 years, really?

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I also remember listening to the Slime Shady LP on a mixtape. What happened to our youth
?

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oh jesus christ yeah me too

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I would bump that album on repeat while playing Twisted Metal on my playstation.

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Whenever I visit New York, there’s always something that makes me realize I’m home again. It’s also usually something like being flipped off, or being able to ask for a baconeggandcheesesaltpeppa without the person being like “what?”

But this time, for thanksgiving, I was home and back on City Island in the Bronx where I was born, and there’s some new-ish deli there that I’ve never been to. The City Island Diner was closed (it was thanksgiving day) so my brother and I stop into the deli. Papa John’s deli, I think it was called.
So I walk in and there’s 4 old (70+ years) guys sitting in the corner and one of them goes “HEY. You gotta have a bad mouth and a bad attitude to eat here. Ya got it?”
I’m like “uhh
sure.”
Old guy: “You sure?”
Me: “Yeah, I was in the Marines, I can deal with some bad language.”
Old guy: “OH SHIT! That guy (motions to the owner at the counter) was in Vietnam, he killed like a thousand fuckin gooks. HEY, HOW MANY GOOKS YOU KILL?”
At this point, a black lady has walked in and seems to be a bit uncomfortable with the slurs being thrown around, so I just kind of smile and play along.
The owner says nothing, as would anybody who was dealing with some asshole blurting out their history for everyone to hear, especially THAT history.
Old guy: “This guy (points to the guy sitting next to him) was in Korea but he didn’t kill no fuckin slants.”
At this point, the owner yells,
“HEY! You (points at old guy), that’ll be $9.80. NOW SHUT THE FUCK UP!”
Old guy: “Ehhh, you shut the fuck up ya piece of shit.”
Everyone laughs. Except the black lady, and my brother and I are pretending to read the paper, because despite this sounding like they’re just busting balls, it was pretty awkward.
Wait a few minutes for my egg sandwich, and old guy finally comes up to pay.
Owner: “Here’s ya change, ya little faggot.”
Old guy: “I thought I was a BIG faggot!”
Everyone except the aforementioned people laugh again.
Owner: “Happy thanksgiving
ya pieces of shit.”
Old guys leave. I take my sandwich and leave.
Honestly, we have spent days laughing about it since, but I have never seen a lower class business than that in my life. To be talking like that with strangers and a woman who have never been in your business is fucking crazy.

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Geez, I’m old and even I would just make a playlist on spotify or something.

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When your buddy (the Pats fan) texts you bragging about hitting 4 x 8 x 315 on squats, but you’ve seen his quarter squatting ass do legs before. iM As sTrOnG aS yOu

Edit: I probably get more salty than I should about it :joy:

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I remember when my massive quarter squat was as heavy as 365, lol
 So much ROM much wow.

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