Things That Make You Chuckle

We started elf of a shelf this year…

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lol … no Taylor? I just picked up a 750 of Colonel Taylor bourbon small batch and it’s fucking great - up there in flavor with Bookers

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Hmmmm

I feel the Knob Creek in the first photo could play a bigger role here…

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I don’t know if I can get over the Crown Royal. Canadian Whisky is garbage.

Crown Royal is a great low budget I feel like getting smashed at 7AM whiskey.

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Yeah! Or Windsor. That stuff is great in chocolate milk.

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Amatuer.

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Little story time- In 11th grade I blew a .21 in the nurses office at school. Two of my buddies had come home on leave and we were up all night pounding beers. 4:00 am rolls around and I realize that I had to be at school later on. So in order to not miss school we all drop a couple of hits of acid. We’re having a great time and keep knocking them back all ramped up tripping. Then I leave for school and my buds are going to go party somewhere else.

I get to school and it turns out that I had in school suspension. So off I go to that. One of the teachers there noticed that I reaked of beer and was acting funny, so she alerted the principal, who then took me to the nurses for a breathalyzer. Seeing what it turned out, I came clean and told him about my buddies on leave. He told me to sleep it off, 3 more days of suspension and he’d have me arrested if I acted up anymore.

Couldn’t sleep it off though because acid trumps almost any number of beers. I just had to keep my giggle fits to myself and the other couple of miscreants that had in school suspension that day. I’m still really glad he didn’t call the cops that day.

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Browns secondary trolling Hue Jackson. He’s such bad luck that the Cincinnati QB got his thumb broken, a DB almost got paralyzed and they lost to the Browns convincingly. Hue has that bad juju man.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BqqiEaEFvWM/

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Every December I set this as my ringtone. Forgot to put something else as my alarm. Scared the shit out of the wife at 430am. She was mad. “There was a man yelling, he was angry and I didn’t know why.”

My neighborhood has an HOA. One of the rules is mandatory X-mas decorations, specific down to the bulbs (white lights, certain size, no blinking).

There is a religious exemption, which I gratuitously abuse.

I have one neighbor who spends $1/light for thousands of lights in his trees and along his house. The other neighbor is a DIY guy who drags out a giant wooden shed and puts up the full sized nativity scene out. Takes him a solid three days labor to get this thing going and another two days to take it down.

Neighbor 1 complains of the $10K he spends each year.

Neighbor 2 complains about the week of his life he loses each year.

I had a serious schadenfreude chuckle.

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Holy shit, where do you live so I can quit my job and start hanging up Christmas lights in your neighborhood full time?

They have cherry pickers (or whatever that machine is called with the man up in a bucket at the end of a giant metal arm). It’s a serious operation with serious machinery.

But yeah, they print money.

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You should campaign for a HOA rule that requires blood on the door frame of every residence during passover and make your neighbors apply for an exemption.

I hate HOA’s.

They don’t let you put up colored lights wtf? White lights are just a bunch of tiny landscaping lights. Colored lights are Xmas lights damnit!!

It’s an HOA man. Basically a bunch of old nebshits that make up rules and carry out vendettas “to protect property value”.

Pardon the grumpy. I used to do some landscaping and tree maintenance for a couple of HOA communities.

We, fortunately, do not have HOAs, but we do have CC&Rs. Funny enough, my new neighbor decided to build a 1,180 sq. ft. Shop behind his house. (We all have slightly over 1/4 acre lots). While this meets city building codes (sadly I know, because I called my friend at the city to complain and this will be my city council platform next session), it does not meet the CC&Rs. I don’t feel that I can raise the issue, because I am violating the CC&Rs by having chickens. Further, my two neighbors who we are friendly with are also violating the CC&Rs, albeit in very subtle ways.

We are looking for a ‘pure’ neighbor to raise the issue, as the ‘monstrosity’ is blocking our Mountain Views.

I’m sure this is a thing, but in my area it isn’t and I think it’d be quite lucrative…

I hate anyone who thinks they should tell me what I ought to do with my property…I don’t see myself ever looking at a house in a neighborhood with an HOA anytime in the foreseeable future…

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