Things That Make You Chuckle

A friend of a friend (I hesitate to call him a friend because he annoys the shit out of me, and I’ve had him on here as a ‘worth a chuckle’ story before) was telling me he’s proud of his dad bod (stereotypical skinny-fat, looks like he was stuffed in a bucket build) and told me that all my muscle (thanks for the compliment!) was going to turn to fat when my twins come, ha!

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I’m not going to lie (congrats btw … twins … wow … are they your first?) I haven’t been in the gym as regularly as I’d like since our little guy arrived and both m wife and I have returned to work. I definitely haven’t developed a dad bod nor will I ever (I’m surprised how well I can maintain with body weight stuff at home) but it certainly isn’t easy (what in life worth having is though). However, that guy just sounds like he’s projecting his excuses for looking like a wet noodle onto you

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Haha thanks! Yep, our first(s?), twin girls! I’m lucky, since I run a gym I can ‘schedule’ workouts into my day, I’m pretty dang lucky that way. And yeah, he’s a tool, one of those guys that you don’t understand why people like him…but they do…I guess every group of friends needs ‘that guy’ the one that takes jokes too far and into uncomfortable places, kind of the, “Well yeah, he’s an asshole…but he’s our asshole.”

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Holy crap, congratulations of course, but when I think back to all the horrible phases of baby stuff through… shit, five, and multiplying it by two, damn you are really in for it. It’ll be great for the kids though, you’ll always be able to know they’ll have someone close looking out for them as they grow up.

To add to the topic, apparently after I left for work yesterday:
Kid: “It’s going to be really sad when daddy dies”
Wife: “Well yeah but that won’t be for a really long time”
Kid: “But he’s THIRTY FOUR!”

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:joy:
Thanks! Yeah, people that find out usually follow this conversation template:

Them: “Oh my gosh, you’re having twins? What a blessing!”
Me: “Thanks! We’re really excited, it’s going to be a lot of fun!”
Them: “Erm…do you know how hard it’s going to be?”
Me: “…”
Them: “…but we’re so happy for you!”
Me: “Thanks.”

Luckily I have too much energy, require little sleep, and have an extremely organized wife haha

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Good to hear. We are considering a late 2nd kid, but always think horrified, “but what if it ends up being twins?!” If I could think of the 3 best things for handling twins though, excluding super powers, I don’t think I’d beat this. That and the gym should set you up well.

Wife asks kiddo if he would like pizza tonight. Of course he happily says yeah!

Then I follow up with “In the style of Samuel L. Jackson…”

Wife looks at me funny “What?”. Thinks about it for a sec…

Busts out in crazy laughter!

Sometimes its the little things.

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This went over my head. Does the pizza come with bitches on it or something?

He paid for it using his Capital One card, duh.

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And a side of dat ass!

I really wish I got this reference, but if you’re looking for a good beer to pair with this pizza here’s what I’d go with.Sam%20Jackson

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Go to your local blockbuster and rent pulp fiction.

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It’ll get you drunk! You’ll be fuckin fat chicks in no time

God damn old school schapelle was gold

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Wrong forum, should be in “Things That Make You Punch a Hole Through Your Computer Screen”, like when this garbage shows up in my news feed

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That’s why it’s so funny!

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Tagging the new dads, lol
@polo77j @ActivitiesGuy

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I had the day off from work yesterday (Drs appt) and my son went to day care at 7… I’ve never appreciated having the house to myself as much as I did yesterday … I didn’t have that anxious feeling in my stomach from the anticipation and knowledge that at any moment the silence will be shattered by the air siren that is a baby’s wail

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Lol, I know that feeling well.

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when they are grown and gone…

you will really miss them. more than you know~

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