T Nation

Things That Dont Make You Look Hardcore


#1

(Warning, old man ranting, but possibly amusing to experienced gym goers)

-wearing hoodies on 90 degree days

-screaming on every set

-dropping even light weights after you’re done

-wearing leggings under shorts every day

-sporting the tightest XS under armor T-shirt to cover you’re 150 lb “physique” and strutting around like you’re Mr. Olympia

-giving every single one of your 10 newb buddies a bro-hug while others are trying to train and leave

(I’m sure there are plenty more I forgot)

S


#2

Dont forget belts for no reason, lol !


#3

I don’t understand why this is a thing that people do. Shorts are designed to keep you cool. If you’re too cold, wear pants. Right? Have I been doing clothing wrong for the past 36 years?


#4

I feel guys do this because they are embarrassed about bulges.


#5

The whole gym experience is a complete mindfuck for the 40+ experienced lifter nowadays, in my opinion of course.

I feel like a spare prick at a wedding anytime I’m in the gym i recently joined.

Too scared to look at all the young ladies in case I come across like a creepy bastard.

Too jaded to make eye contact with the young hoodie wearing bozos, with their oversized earphones on top of said hood.

It’s like a reality tv show on ketamine.

And what the fuck is this taking selfies in the disabled toilet, posting it on Instagram then writing some philosophical quote underneath, bullshit all about??

You’re in a fucking disabled toilet with no top on and you’re trying to dispense life advice.

You’re fucking 20 year old, you still stay at home, you have a crusty wank sock under you bed and your mum probably washes it then puts it back under your bed to be freshly wanked on.


#6

If you’re really unlucky they ask you for the advice. Then you really feel old.


#7

-Doing a one-rep max on the smith machine.

-Clapping clouds of chalk dust in the air

-Yelling Ronnie Coleman words

-Scorpion tattoos on your face and neck


#8

Wearing an entire outfit from various supplement companies, like some sort of failed NASCAR driver


#9

Oxygen deprivation masks…with monster/skull graphics…that match the leggings.


#10

I feel like the principle of progressive overload will eventually make this a self-solving problem.


#11

I did this when i first started. Not a good idea if you want your body to feel good

Last year i was telling Ronnie coleman words for a few weeks after watching his videos lmao. Fuck


#12

Have a home gym last 13 years
Traveled and went to commercial gym first time in 13 years

Why carry a whole gallon on water with you? I’d puke if I drank a gallon of room temperature water while training
Don’t gyms have water fountains?

What’s with eating skittles/starburst between sets?


#13

I eat Starbursts when my blood sugar drops. It’s a safety net for when I screw up my pre workout nutrition.

It usually only happens on leg day. I start to feel nauseous but after a couple Starbursts I’m good to go.


#14

I saw a dude wearing one of those elbow compression sleeve things that all the NBA guys use now. (edit: only on his shooting arm, mind you)

I’ve seen the oxygen deprivation mask thing also. Of course, the dude was basically walking on a treadmill. Ugh, dude…


#15

This reminds me of a line in a youtube video of tongue-in-cheek advice for powerlifters. “Don’t forget to wear your lifting belt so everyone knows you’re a powerlifter and not a regular fat person.”


#16

Sunglasses and bandanna… indoors


#17

I still don’t understand why people shadow box.


#18

How else are you going to know that the reason they aren’t huge is because they are a badass fighter and all of their muscle is functional unlike your puffy unfunctional bodybuilder muscle made entirely out of sacroplasm?


#19

War cry before the set. I used to cringe at the yelling towards the end of the set but this is much worse.


#20

For the entire session, the bell-end that not once stops staring at themselves in the mirror

And the 150lb stickfigure dude with ILS
(Invisible lat syndrome)