T Nation

Things That Bug Me

This is just a bunch of random things that bother,piss off,irk,annoy,and irritate me. It’s kind of a rant. Feel free to post your own. There’s no need for reasons or rationalizations either.

Cell phones in the movies. You are not so important that you need to be on call all the time. I love when you can tell the caller asks what theyr’e doing and they respond “Watching a movie.” No, you’re not, you’re talking on the damn phone! The same goes for people who give a running narration/commentary on what’s happening. I paid eight bucks to watch the movie, not hear you tell it to me, shut the f*ck up! Also, teenage girls in horror movies who scream extra loud then giggle and talk about it for 10 minutes afterwards. I will hunt you down and kill you! At least laser pointer aren’t popular anymore.

When you hear bells on the radio and you think it’s going to be “For Whom the Bell Tolls” and it’s “Hell’s Bells” instead.

Biting into a cookie that you think is cocolate chip, but is oatmeal raisin in stead. Oatmeal raisin falls far short of the deliciousness that is choclate.

White suburban kids who think they’re thugs from the 'hood. Right, you wear FUBU and your visor upside down and backwards, and have cheap ass bling from Spencer’s on, you’re bad-ass. Here’s a tip: if you drive Mommy’s BMW to school, you’re not from the 'hood. I’ll drop your asses off in Over the Rhine and then we’ll see how “phat” and “kewl” you are.

People who ride the brakes going down a hill. God forbid you go 5 miles over the speed limit!

People who use random French or Latin sayings in ther conversations. It’s the linguistic version of name-dropping, and I’m not impressed. Je ne se quios why you’re such a goon.

Decaf coffee. What’s the point? Same for diet caffeine-free Mt. Dew. Why else do you drink it? Cause it tastes so great?

Lite beer goes with the above one. Beer does not taste good enough on it’s own to warrant drinking it without some kind of pleasent effect. Especially lite beer! Here, I’ll drink a real beer and piss in a bottle and I guarantee it’ll taste better and have more kick that whatever lite/lo carb crap is currently popular. Also, people who think Bud is great beer. That’s like saying McDonalds makes awesome burgers.

Minivans literally covered in those magnetic ribbons. One or two is fine to show your support, but I’m not sure how spending $50 on crappy cheap-ass magnets benefits any troops in Iraq.

“Extreme” Christian shirts that were around years ago. Stop ripping off No Fear.

The 60 ft Jesus in front of church near me. Not that I’m agaisnt statues of J.C, the one in Brazil is truly beautiful. This, however, is tacky. If your church has neon on it, it’s tacky, seriouly.

People who hate things because it’s popular to. Like the thing with France recently. Some of you had your reasons, a lot just did it because everyone else was. France bothered me long before any of this crap (trois is pronounced “twa”? WTF?) Also, “The Blair Witch Project”, “Phantom Menace” for other examples, it was popular to bash them for a while and declare them the worst movies ever. This ties in to people hating things just because most people like it or liking things because a lot of people don’t. I knew a girl who stopped watching South Park after the first season because “it got too popular”, even though she still found it funny. Sometimes the indie bands you listen to aren’t so big because their music blows, not because they’re ahead of their time.

Capri pants. Either wear shorts, or wear pants, dammit.

Old Navy commercials. Creepy.

Freaky skinny actresses. It’s like to save money, the producers take a bunch of pipe cleaners and twist them into an actress shape and Bam! you’ve got Calista Flockhart or Lara Flynn Boyle.

Joan and Melissa Rivers. Possibly two of the ugliest women ever bitching about how badly others dress. Well, they can take off the outfit, but you’re stuck with that face. Same goes for that Kojo guy.

Celine Dion. I don’t think I need to elaborate.

College book prices. Nothing like paying $120 for a math book that use only half of, then they don’t buy it back because a new edition came out. Why does your ass hurt? It’s because you were raped.

When I put off until tomorrow what would be good for me today.

Songs edited for radio. They even change Van Morrison’s “Brown Eyed Girl” to take out “makin’ love in the green grass”. So sad. The FCC can eat my ass until they realize their real place in regulation.

People who ask if a tattoo is real. Does it look real? Yes. Also, don’t ask if it hurt at all(you can ask about how bad the specific location hurt). A needle pokes into your skin several times a second, so of course it hurts! If someone tells you it did not hurt at all they’re lying their ass off. They all hurt to some degree. Also don’t say “Don’t you worry what it’ll look like when you’re older?” I’ll look like an old guy with tats, duh. Or “What will your kids think?” Well, they’ll probably think it’s kind of lame to be taken to tatttoo conventions, like all kids think about what their parents do. If they want to get one done, we’ll help them find a good artist.

Kumquats. Yeah, that’s right.

Fat white trash girls who dress like they’re Britney Spears. You are not her, you will never look like her. Stop it now, please. There’s a girl in my neighborhood who looks like she’s wearing her little sister’s clothes, they’re so tight. I like big girls, who dress for their body that is.

The saying “High School is the best time of you life.” For the most part, it sucked ass. If I had believed that that was as good as it was going to get, I probably would have sucked on a shotgun.

The fact that idiots have so many more kids than smart people. We need to make sex more difficult to put an end to this trend.

Finding that your cat threw up by stepping on it in the dark.

When people say “Illinoiz”. Also, a car that carries dead folks is a hearse not a “hurst”. A hearse can have a Hurst shifter, but it’s still a hearse!

People who say “kway-so” when they see queso.

People who think that a Yield sign really says “pretend this sign does not exist”.

When people say “crick” instead of “creek”.

Poodles. Stupid fluffy dogs.

When your dog has been snacking on cat crap and then decides it’s a good time to come try to give you a big kiss.

When you wait in line forever and they open another window right when you get to the one you were waiting for.

When people are pissed off that you don’t have the most poular item in stock when they’re shopping at 5:00 PM on Christmas Eve. Here’s a thought: Try shopping earlier!

When you get a hard-on in school for no reason and it’s time to go to your next class. Then when you stand up, you find that it’s pointing down your pant leg instead of up, so you have to be real subtle in adjusting him so everyone doesn’t see what you’re doing.

Alrighty, I feel better. For now.

The bitch in line ahead of me last night in the 10 ITEMS OR LESS aisle with a basket overfilled with Oreo’s and Beanie Babies. Yes, I did call you out so don’t look at me crazy when I ask if you can read.

Fat/skinny personal trainers. Did you not read the manual all of the way through? “I don’t want to get too bulky because that might scare away clients”…but looking like you don’t train reels them in?

Questions like “Is that chicken again?” from coworkers. Hell, yes, bitch, it is chicken again and happens to be why my ass isn’t still in the other room waiting to come in behind you.

Women who slide their feet on the ground when they walk. This is almost worse than women whose hands are rougher than mine. If I want a bitch with sand paper on her mits, I will grab my dog and get busy.

“You’re going to drink all of that water?” Uh, no, I just like carrying around half a gallon of water with me strictly for religious reasons. You see, it is HOLY water. Excuse me while I annoint myself.

People who stand directly in front of the weight rack and train as if no one would ever need to get more weights while they do lat raises. If it wasn’t for fear of being sued, I would kill you.

Caddillac Escalades with spinners. Gee, could just a few more people do this? I just don’t feel right unless I get dizzy driving next to people on the way to the grocery store.

Non-regular trainers who stare at you funny because you put in enough effort to actually use 5 plates a side on the Hammer Strength bench press. Should I revert to only one plate a side so that I don’t make anyone feel inadequate? The answer is no.

Women who pretend they are violated because you stare at their tits when all they wore to the gym was an Under Armour sports bra 2 sizes too small. If your tits are there, I will stare at them. It is taking every ounce of strength within me to avoid grabbing them and seeing how they look mashed together so be thankful.

[quote]ToShinDo wrote:
The saying “High School is the best time of you life.” For the most part, it sucked ass. If I had believed that that was as good as it was going to get, I probably would have sucked on a shotgun.
[/quote]

LOL!

While high school was OK, it certainly wasn’t the best part of my life. Right now is the best part of my life. Good job, hot woman, not fat, no kids, disposable income, can still get boners, great health, friends and family more or less alright.

High school tends to be the best part of life for people who haven’t really done much.

Things that are bugging me:

Gyms are going to be very busy over the next little while.

I ate and drank too much the past couple of weeks.

There is a grotesque facination with the tsunami death numbers.

That is all.

Wet bread, Wet socks and a Wet Bed.

Born again Christians - They are a bigger pain the second time around.

People who pull out in front of me in traffic and slow down, especially when there are no cars behind me.

The sound of a vacuum cleaner - unless I am doing the vacumming.

People at the grocery store, who wait until the total is rung up and then they start to write out their checks.

Women who tell you “I’ve never done this before”, when they are cheating on their boyfriends.

Leaders who send young people to war who have never served in a war.

Women with hairy armpits.

Calling information for a number and they give you the wrong number.

Women who can’t go to the bathroom alone and then complain about the long lines.

[quote]Professor X wrote:
Women who pretend they are violated because you stare at their tits when all they wore to the gym was an Under Armour sports bra 2 sizes too small. If your tits are there, I will stare at them. It is taking every ounce of strength within me to avoid grabbing them and seeing how they look mashed together so be thankful.[/quote]

Amen to that Prof. X! The same goes for women who go out with a skin tight shirt and a skirt that could pass for a really wide belt. If you don’t want to be treated like meat, don’t package yourself like it.

[quote]ToShinDo wrote:

When you hear bells on the radio and you think it’s going to be “For Whom the Bell Tolls” and it’s “Hell’s Bells” instead.

[/quote]

LOL
I almost fell out my chair when I read this. Happens all the time.

Great list!

[quote]SKman wrote:
ToShinDo wrote:

When you hear bells on the radio and you think it’s going to be “For Whom the Bell Tolls” and it’s “Hell’s Bells” instead.

LOL
I almost fell out my chair when I read this. Happens all the time.

Great list![/quote]

I’ll third the for whom the bells tolls problem! WTF! and what the fuck is up with tucked in, remakes of the old metallica shirts? my “ride the lightning” shirt has no sleeves, is falling apart, but it was made when a man named cliff burton played bass for metallica. and why the fuck do metallica have gay haircuts? and make gay documentaries about what pussies they are? the only guy from slayer with short hair went bald and then got tattoos on his head! Or just as bad: hearing a rainstorm with thunder on the radio and then being crushed when its the doors and not sabbath. BULLSHIT! or any of these no talent “NU” metal bands. New metal, like High on Fire or Nile = sweet, nu-metal like Staind = gay. needless to say, I get pretty pissed about metal “issues.” I suppose I should mellow out and “open my mind” to alternative music or techno or cuntry. or not.

Wierd thing about poodles - you can’t kill 'em. I’ve tried.

Here’s my partial list:

People in the checkout line that ‘have the exact change’ and waste 5 minutes looking for 3 pennies.

Folks that drive around the WalMart parking lot for 20 minutes looking for a good spot.

Coupon shoppers.

4X4 assholes driving on ice.

The sound of Lee Corso’s voice on NCAA 2005.

Winning the national championship game in the 4th quarter, and the X-Box freezes up.

Telemarketers who can’t pronounce my name, yet act like their my long lost buddy.

Telemarketers that can’t even speak English, yet try to get me to upgrade my DirecTV subscription.

When people here at t-nation say that their diet is ‘dialed in’.

The weight of my wife’s purse.

GNC stores.

These are some funny ass gripes and right on the mark!

BTW, how’s the progress coming ToShinDo?

Hope all the snow last week didn’t keep you stuck at home.

Best regards,

MP

My turn:

You pour out the last bit of cereal in your bowl and you get 6 whole pieces and a bowl full of crumbs.

People that watch for people leaving the mall and block everyone else while they wait 20 minutes for a spot that’s only 5 spaces closer than an open one.

The ESPN Sunday Night Football crew.

The raw vs. gear debate.

People that still have John Kerry bumper stickers on their car.

Kobe Bryant.

People at the checkout counter that say, “The shelf said this was only $2.99.” Pay the extra 20 cents and get the hell out of the line.

The slow-down-and-look-at-the-accident syndrome on the freeway.

When girls wear low cut pants and shirts that show their belly, BUT you can’t see their bellybutton. So either their bellybutton is too high, too low, or they were just spawned and not born. That just freaks me out.

When someone asks if I ever saw a certain movie and I say no. Then they say “Oh my God! You’ve never seen !?!”

The Real World. Well, Road Rules, too. And TRL. Actually all of MTV.

Tomatoes. Yuck!

Von Dutch.

People that root against my favorite sports teams just to root against them, not because they are playing a team they like or for any other reason. They do it just to piss me off. I am passionate about my teams. I don’t root against your teams without a head-to-head matcg or playoff implications, so don’t do it to me. And even if I am rooting against your team, I won’t do it outloud.

Fairweather fans. Jumping on the Bandwagon.

When parents don’t control their kids in public.

People who don’t tip.

People that are offended by porn.

Athletes that celebrate during garbage time.

Draft picks that refuse to play for the team that drafted them.

Jay-Z claiming to be the “best rapper alive”. Did Rakim die?

Cutting myself shaving. And then it takes 2 hours to stop bleeding.

Trying to find pants that fit. They either fit my waist but are too tight on my ass and thighs or loose on my thighs and ass but are 4 sizes too big around my waist.

I really am easy to get along with,
Toddy

One that just popped in my head:

The host of “Iron Chef” that wears the disturbing gloves and takes a bite out of a bell pepper like it was an apple. That guy freaks me out.

[quote]rainjack wrote:
Wierd thing about poodles - you can’t kill 'em. I’ve tried.[/quote]

BWAHAHAHA

What I hate:

Stupid people

Politicians

People who don’t get my sarcasm

Working at GNC (I need money)

The fact I need money

People that try too hard

Child prodigies

Large SUVs

The football players on my dorm

The frantic nationalism after 9/11

Losing

Not winning

Hot Chicks with boyfriends

The boyfriends of said hot chicks

“Popular” kids

That asshole that started up a conversation with me in the dining hall line just to skip half the line. He even let some other girl in line in front of me and stopped talking to me. You sack of crap. I’m gonna rip out your spine and stab you in the eye with it. Sleep with one eye open.

Not being able to legally hurt people

Forgetting what I wanted to get when I go to a cd store/movie store

dial-up internet

That directv guy that was supposed to install our new kit so I could watch the Eagles in HD, as opposed too our current antennae setup. Too slippery my ass. Your ass won’t be too slippery when I jam a sandstone rod up it.

This is actually making me mad, so I’m going to stop.

I agree on everyone of these posts but I have to add some more

Salespeople who complain about not making any money when they walk around the mall all day NOT selling

Those little long distance faggots that like to talk trash and when you step up to them they go “I’ll sue”
Sue me for what motherfucker I don’t have a dime in MY name

[quote]rainjack wrote:
One that just popped in my head:

The host of “Iron Chef” that wears the disturbing gloves and takes a bite out of a bell pepper like it was an apple. That guy freaks me out.[/quote]

OMG! I totally agree rainjack. I think his name is Chairman Kaga. Biting that pepper is nasty as hell. I love how the one actress on there always says “Mmm, it’s so good!” to everything she tries. Most of that stuff looks horrifying.

Also, what’s up with public toilets? Why can’t people flush? I hate going into a stall and it looks like someone’s ass exploded all over the place and they didn’t even bother to flush the damn toilet. Do you do this at home? And why can’t you aim? I don’t pee all over the seat, why do you? My wife hates this especially, since she gets stuck cleaning the bathrooms at the restaurant she works at. The twit girls she works with can’t handle flushing the toilet if someone doesn’t do it. And ladies, maybe if you didn’t hover a foot above the toilet, there wouldn’t be urine all over the seat and you wouldn’t have to hover! One more thing: I do not want to see your ass when I walk into a bathroom. I went into a Barnes & Noble and a guy was pissing in the urinal and his pants were around his knees! What the hell is wrong with you??

The green potato chip in the bag.

Telephones.

Cars parking on sidewalks.

Mobile phones.

Loud motorcycles.

Blackberries (the gadget, not the fruit). Guess I’m not made for the age of telecommunication.

4X4s and Jeeps in an urban environment.

Milk. Bleah.

Ally McBeal.

SUVs - Urban Assault Vehicles.

Strawberries (the fruit).

Good looking women who smoke. Rules them out pretty quickly and I hate that.

School.

The ugly face of monogamy.

Makkun (that’s me - not a thing I don’t like)

Some funny shit guys
Great thread

Some of my hates:

Negative people

Guys that look at me and tell me im on steroids when they have a beer in one hand and a smoke in the other.

people who have colds and cough and breath all over u.

1 big zit in the middle of my forehead and people say do u know u have a pimple and im like NAH really?? well ill be fucked so i have.

Fat ass woman that say OH but ur a health freak(like its a bad thing)when i say i go to the gym.

hot chicks who want to be “just friends”

fat boy at the gym who brings in his 2 lire bottle of coke and loads the bench up with 350 pounds and does 1/4 rep bench presses.

When people say they dont have enough time for something,eg-taining ,eating 6 meals a day.Fuck i have kids as well but i dont go around making excuses,these are the same people who go drink beer for 3 hours after work at the club.

Well thats my list
Peace
H

Text messaging. I was playing cards the other day and this kid sitting next to me was typing a text message to his buddy. It went something like “wat r u doin?” And he replied “nthn, wat r u up 2?” HOly fucking shit! Who cares?!?!

For that matter: cell phones. These bitches think they’re so fucking important when in reality they really aren’t. And when they get their cell phones, barely get any calls, realize that they’re not important, and revert to the aforementioned text message conversations.

Guys who meet girls and ask for their e-mail address instead of phone number. Or if they do get their phone number, they send them text messages instead of actually calling them.

People (mostly old people) who drive for miles down the thruway with their blinkers on. If you can’t hear it blinking, then you shouldn’t be allowed to drive.

Somebody mentioned it earlier: people freaking out when I tell them I haven’t seen some movie that they’re asking me about. You don’t need to be offended because I haven’t seen The Pirates of the Caribbean yet.

Girls who wear low-rise jeans and high-rise thongs. One of these days I’m going to walk up to one of these girls and complement them on their thong.

Extension of the last one: girls who get offended when I complement them on their thongs. If you don’t want me to notice it and appreciate it, then don’t fucking flash it around.

Reality TV. If you spend at least an hour a week watching somebody else’s “real” life, then you have serious problems of your own.

The guy at my gym who brings his cell phone AND laptop to his workouts.

I’ll probably post some more later. I just had a bunch more I was thinking of but I had a brain fart.

girls who hug their friends whenever a camera’s around but won’t hold my hand in public after 5 months of dating, 4.5 months of banging

minibikes

girls whose stomachs spill out over their pants and out through their shirts, DC has way too many of them and 99% went to my college

the guy that shot Dimebag Darrell

when someone says ?This tastes disgusting ? taste it? or ?This smells gross - smell this? and shoves it up in my face

people who drive slow

scrawny suburban white kids wearing Che Guevara t-shirts while they cruise to the mall in a giant SUV they can barely control

old men in metro stations who shuffle over toward you and sneeze on you, then stare blankly at the wall like nothing happened

People who start exercise programs and get the genius idea that they’ll give themselves “rewards” for adherence to the program. Chances are one of the “rewards” they’re thinking of will take them a step away from their goals. I’ve got some rewards:
-not being fat
-not dying an early death
-not having type 2 diabetes
Hmmm, that sounds pretty rewardful if you ask me.

People who talk about losing weight, exercising, and eating right but don’t have the self-control to stop drinking Pepsi and start drinking water.

People who try to explain that theres water in their Pepsi and coffee and that they get enough water.

[quote]makkun wrote:

Loud motorcycles.
[/quote]

People who don’t like loud motorcycles.