This is just a bunch of random things that bother,piss off,irk,annoy,and irritate me. It’s kind of a rant. Feel free to post your own. There’s no need for reasons or rationalizations either.
Cell phones in the movies. You are not so important that you need to be on call all the time. I love when you can tell the caller asks what theyr’e doing and they respond “Watching a movie.” No, you’re not, you’re talking on the damn phone! The same goes for people who give a running narration/commentary on what’s happening. I paid eight bucks to watch the movie, not hear you tell it to me, shut the f*ck up! Also, teenage girls in horror movies who scream extra loud then giggle and talk about it for 10 minutes afterwards. I will hunt you down and kill you! At least laser pointer aren’t popular anymore.
When you hear bells on the radio and you think it’s going to be “For Whom the Bell Tolls” and it’s “Hell’s Bells” instead.
Biting into a cookie that you think is cocolate chip, but is oatmeal raisin in stead. Oatmeal raisin falls far short of the deliciousness that is choclate.
White suburban kids who think they’re thugs from the 'hood. Right, you wear FUBU and your visor upside down and backwards, and have cheap ass bling from Spencer’s on, you’re bad-ass. Here’s a tip: if you drive Mommy’s BMW to school, you’re not from the 'hood. I’ll drop your asses off in Over the Rhine and then we’ll see how “phat” and “kewl” you are.
People who ride the brakes going down a hill. God forbid you go 5 miles over the speed limit!
People who use random French or Latin sayings in ther conversations. It’s the linguistic version of name-dropping, and I’m not impressed. Je ne se quios why you’re such a goon.
Decaf coffee. What’s the point? Same for diet caffeine-free Mt. Dew. Why else do you drink it? Cause it tastes so great?
Lite beer goes with the above one. Beer does not taste good enough on it’s own to warrant drinking it without some kind of pleasent effect. Especially lite beer! Here, I’ll drink a real beer and piss in a bottle and I guarantee it’ll taste better and have more kick that whatever lite/lo carb crap is currently popular. Also, people who think Bud is great beer. That’s like saying McDonalds makes awesome burgers.
Minivans literally covered in those magnetic ribbons. One or two is fine to show your support, but I’m not sure how spending $50 on crappy cheap-ass magnets benefits any troops in Iraq.
“Extreme” Christian shirts that were around years ago. Stop ripping off No Fear.
The 60 ft Jesus in front of church near me. Not that I’m agaisnt statues of J.C, the one in Brazil is truly beautiful. This, however, is tacky. If your church has neon on it, it’s tacky, seriouly.
People who hate things because it’s popular to. Like the thing with France recently. Some of you had your reasons, a lot just did it because everyone else was. France bothered me long before any of this crap (trois is pronounced “twa”? WTF?) Also, “The Blair Witch Project”, “Phantom Menace” for other examples, it was popular to bash them for a while and declare them the worst movies ever. This ties in to people hating things just because most people like it or liking things because a lot of people don’t. I knew a girl who stopped watching South Park after the first season because “it got too popular”, even though she still found it funny. Sometimes the indie bands you listen to aren’t so big because their music blows, not because they’re ahead of their time.
Capri pants. Either wear shorts, or wear pants, dammit.
Old Navy commercials. Creepy.
Freaky skinny actresses. It’s like to save money, the producers take a bunch of pipe cleaners and twist them into an actress shape and Bam! you’ve got Calista Flockhart or Lara Flynn Boyle.
Joan and Melissa Rivers. Possibly two of the ugliest women ever bitching about how badly others dress. Well, they can take off the outfit, but you’re stuck with that face. Same goes for that Kojo guy.
Celine Dion. I don’t think I need to elaborate.
College book prices. Nothing like paying $120 for a math book that use only half of, then they don’t buy it back because a new edition came out. Why does your ass hurt? It’s because you were raped.
When I put off until tomorrow what would be good for me today.
Songs edited for radio. They even change Van Morrison’s “Brown Eyed Girl” to take out “makin’ love in the green grass”. So sad. The FCC can eat my ass until they realize their real place in regulation.
People who ask if a tattoo is real. Does it look real? Yes. Also, don’t ask if it hurt at all(you can ask about how bad the specific location hurt). A needle pokes into your skin several times a second, so of course it hurts! If someone tells you it did not hurt at all they’re lying their ass off. They all hurt to some degree. Also don’t say “Don’t you worry what it’ll look like when you’re older?” I’ll look like an old guy with tats, duh. Or “What will your kids think?” Well, they’ll probably think it’s kind of lame to be taken to tatttoo conventions, like all kids think about what their parents do. If they want to get one done, we’ll help them find a good artist.
Kumquats. Yeah, that’s right.
Fat white trash girls who dress like they’re Britney Spears. You are not her, you will never look like her. Stop it now, please. There’s a girl in my neighborhood who looks like she’s wearing her little sister’s clothes, they’re so tight. I like big girls, who dress for their body that is.
The saying “High School is the best time of you life.” For the most part, it sucked ass. If I had believed that that was as good as it was going to get, I probably would have sucked on a shotgun.
The fact that idiots have so many more kids than smart people. We need to make sex more difficult to put an end to this trend.
Finding that your cat threw up by stepping on it in the dark.
When people say “Illinoiz”. Also, a car that carries dead folks is a hearse not a “hurst”. A hearse can have a Hurst shifter, but it’s still a hearse!
People who say “kway-so” when they see queso.
People who think that a Yield sign really says “pretend this sign does not exist”.
When people say “crick” instead of “creek”.
Poodles. Stupid fluffy dogs.
When your dog has been snacking on cat crap and then decides it’s a good time to come try to give you a big kiss.
When you wait in line forever and they open another window right when you get to the one you were waiting for.
When people are pissed off that you don’t have the most poular item in stock when they’re shopping at 5:00 PM on Christmas Eve. Here’s a thought: Try shopping earlier!
When you get a hard-on in school for no reason and it’s time to go to your next class. Then when you stand up, you find that it’s pointing down your pant leg instead of up, so you have to be real subtle in adjusting him so everyone doesn’t see what you’re doing.
Alrighty, I feel better. For now.