The War on Boys

[quote]magick wrote:

And here I was thinking you’re a controlling parent. Doesn’t seem to be the case.[/quote]

Thanks.

It’s all a matter of degrees. Do people consider me “controlling” and “hard on my kids”? Yes, particularly when they are younger.

However it all changes as they learn. Once they “get it”, I’m pretty much like “it’s your life to live, here is my advice and what I did when I was your age if you care, but please just think of the consequences.”

I remember when my son was 6 or 7, and he came in from playing in the snow, and tossed his jacket on the ground. I gave him the look, and he then asked “can you hang this up for me?” Knowing he had messed up.

“No, but I’ll help you hang it up yourself.”

My mother-in-law has always had an issue with the way I treated my kids (until she saw the change as the boy aged) shot back at me “how often did you have to hang up your own jacket at that age?”

I just looked at her and said “I want him to be better than I was.”

Was her complaint valid? Sure, particularly from a grandparent. He was young, the hanger was much too tall for him, and he was nervous to go in the basement, you know darkness an all. But end of the day, not only was he not getting away with throwing it on the ground, but he was going to start then, and not a second later, learning what being responsible for his things means.

I can remember the first time I made him help us put away the Christmas decorations like it was yesterday, lmao. Kid was balling up and down the stairs, every trip was like watching a scene from Roots, and you’d think I was whipping him. I still bust his balls to this day, and it was like 10 years ago. Only difference is he sees the humor now. And case in point, I was going to shovel at 730 the other night, after baby girl went to bed. He was going to help. Well he had some Xbox tournament at 730 (I have no idea) so went out, and did the entire drive himself because he wanted to play in the tournament.

I was so impressed. So happy for him… He did good, and I almost teared up, watching him do the right thing, without having to even be told. Put my mind at ease that he’ll be quite alright in life, because he gets it.

[quote]TooHuman wrote:

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My next observation is that the AAP lumps child abuse into their definition of corporal punishment, which tells me one of two things. They either have an agenda or they are willfully ignorant of what corporal punishment really is. I hope it’s the former or this is a waste of time for me.

[quote]TooHuman wrote:

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I can’t seem to find:

Larzelere RE. A review of the outcomes of parental use of nonabusive or customary physical punishment. Pediatrics. 1996:824â??828

Which I assume is supposed to support the attached statement.

I’ve really enjoyed this thread. Which is odd.

[quote]TooHuman wrote:

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[quote]TooHuman wrote:

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#17:

http://pediatrics.aappublications.org/content/98/4/821.full.pdf+html

The author is clearly invested in his findings.

[quote]TooHuman wrote:

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#17: What is the first source:

[quote]pushharder wrote:

[quote]Dr. Pangloss wrote:

[quote]TooHuman wrote:

[quote]countingbeans wrote:

[quote]LankyMofo wrote:
Beans - I’ll negotiate a bit with my son, but he knows when making “deals” is over. Rarely in life is there an authority for which someone has no negotiation power, IMO. The very fact that I’m interacting with someone else implies I have something to offer them.

[/quote]

About what?

Here is the last negotiation with my boy:

“Call your buddy from down the street, I’ll give you each $80 to clean the leafs out of the yard.”

“Do I have to?”

“No, you can do it by yourself, for free. Your choice.”

[/quote]
Your child isn’t a slave. The correct answer is no you don’t have to.[/quote]

My apologies, Push. But I just couldn’t let this one slip by.

Apparently, slave = raking leaves.
[/quote]

Oh, Uncle TH is racking up the bullion left and right here!

It’s absolutely astounding how much he knows about squatting given he’s never even been in the rack.

His theories are so kewl and innovative.[/quote]

I would pay cash money to be a fly on the wall the first time this dude is up at 3am, after not sleeping the last two weeks when his infant bazooka shits all over him, the table, the floor and the change of cloths.

Everyone has the best plans, and know just how to parent, until they actually have to do it…

[quote]TooHuman wrote:

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#18: Can’t read it for free, but here is the abstract. It’s funny how the AAP words the outcome don’t you think?


#18: AAP wording


#20: I hope they have some serious data to back this assertion up.

Just a thought all of these are published by the AAP. Have they published a single article that talks to the opposing view point?

I’ll let someone else go through #20, it seems ridiculous to me.

http://pediatrics.aappublications.org/content/98/4/837.full.pdf+html


This is interesting:


The only way this “recommendation” could have been reach is through a bias view. It was not shown, that I saw, that corporal punishment was “no more effective than other approaches.” In fact I pointed out how the AAP misconstrued what the source said.


I still don’t see this 93% consensus…

A lot of this research is pretty old too. The newest source is 1996. I’m not saying that’s particularly relevant; however, I’d be interested in how corporal punishment has changes both in method and occurrence along with how violence has changed in method and occurrence. If memory serves the 90s were a lot more violent statistically than now. So I would assume, per some of these papers, that corporal punishment must have decline significantly as well.

Well I read the article and I read several of the sources and I still haven’t seen any actual data or research. The AAP just sourced other articles, many of which they also published, over and over again.

[quote]usmccds423 wrote:
Well I read the article and I read several of the sources and I still haven’t seen any actual data or research. The AAP just sourced other articles, many of which they also published, over and over again. [/quote]
Dude, you really need to come to work for me, if you do this much work for free, you are a steal for work.