T Nation

The Virgins Are Waiting


#1

If you enjoyed 'You Americans are not very good fascists!', you might enjoy this one:

Telephone rings.
Omar Babaganoosh: "Hello?"
Osama: "Omar, this is Osama. Carry out plan Alpha."
Omar: "Osama! The NSA might be listening in! What are you doing?!"
Osama: "Don't worry! They have to get a court order to do anything. Besides, Bush is screwed -- if he finds us, he's violating our rights. If he doesn't, he's being negligent. Carry out plan Alpha! Remember, my friend, the virgins await you."

Omar is strapping on his death-vest when the feds crash down his door. As he is led away, he keeps muttering "I didn't get to meet the virgins!!"

Fast forward 6 months. Omar is on a beach outside Rio, lounging at a posh resort. Recently, the ACLU and People for the American Way led the fight against tyranny and won a $50 million dollar suit against the Feds. Omar is set for life.

As he lounges, his bodyguard brings him two 14 year old Brazilian girls, guaranteed to be virgins by their pimp. As he ogles them, he says, 'Osama was right! I do get to meet the virgins!"

Yes, life is good in America.

My lunchtime musings :slight_smile: HH


#2

go back to work


#3

second


#4

Hey man, don't confuse us with the facts. We want to be free to die from an undetected terrorist attack just like Europe and other weak on terrorism countries. Because after all, if we die from a terrorist attack that we could have prevented, we all go to heaven and get 20 virgins that look like Hillary Clinton!


#5

They'd still be virgins after I got done with them......unless you count anal.

CR


#6

Third


#7

That was prety damn funny. It's nice to seee satire somewhere other than the cartoons in the editorial section.


#8

Go back to bitching about the welfare state.


#9

It would be funny if it wasn't based on mischaracterizations which are probably believed to be true.

Shrug.


#10

I'd rather roast in hell, given the choice.


#11

Leftist cheerleaders all! :wink:


#12

Don't be silly, there're no virgins in Brazil


#13

Lighten up, guys! :slight_smile:

I just find it ironic that a so-called 'religion of peace' demonstrates that by rioting, looting, and hunting down Danish tourists. When the Islams go out for some Danish, they mean something pretty different than do we.

You can do something that patently absurd without a comment from me.


#14

I agree with you here. The Muslim rioters are not helping their international image.