T Nation

The Truth About Women


#1

I usually don't copy and paste stuff from other boards, but I saw this and laughed my butt off.

Don't kill me Gojira - I'm just the messenger. Besides you know you'll crack a grin over at least one of these.

[i]How many men does it take to open a beer?
None. It should be opened when she brings it.


Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you.


Why do women have smaller feet than men?
It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.


How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
When she starts a sentence with "A man once told me..."


How do you fix a woman's watch?
You don't. There is a clock on the oven.


Why do men fart more than women?
Because women can't shut up long enough to
build up the required pressure! .


If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?
The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.


What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?
A woman who won't do what she's told.


I married a Miss Right.
I just didn't know her first name was Always.


Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes
a woman's sex drive by 90%.
It's called a Wedding Cake.


Why do men die before their wives?
They want to.


Women will never be equal to men until they can
walk down the street with a bald head and a beer
gut, and still think they are sexy. [/i]


#2

haha. Well done. I'll be retelling these later on.


#3

A woman always has the last word in an argument. If a man says anything after that, he's starting a new argument.


#4

I always enjoy things like this.


#5

why'd the woman cross the road?
who cares why she crossed the road?! how'd she get outa the kitchen and where'd she get those shoes?!

whaddaya do when your dishwasher stops working?
tell her to get her ass back in the kitchen.


#6

hahaha! funny!

thanks!


#7

What does it mean when your wife changes the channel on the TV?

That her leash from the kitchen is too long.


#8

Good stuff...!

Here's a T-shirt that fits the theme.

http://www.tshirthell.com/store/product.php?productid=423


#9

Why haven't they sent a woman to the moon?

'cause it doesn't need cleaning yet.


#10

Did you see how big the sizes go up to?

UP TO 5XL
In Some Style
Color Combos

If she's wearing a shirt THAT BIG, she should be anywhere BUT in the kitchen.

:slight_smile:

\|/ 3Toes


#11

One thing I learned over the course of my life is that all fights with women begin with "nothing" and end with "fine."

What's the matter honey? "Nothing"
several hours later of getting ear chewed off ".....Fine!"

Ha...you know its true.


#12

How do you tell if a woman has an orgasm?

.

.

.

.

WHO CARES?


#13

How do you turn your dishwasher into a snowblower?

Hand her a shovel.