T Nation

The Transporter

Coming soon to a theater near you: a possible kick ass, T-movie: The Transporter. Brought to you by producer, Luc Besson (La femme Nikita, The Professional) and director Corey Yuen (The One, Fists of Fury) and star Jason Statham (Lock, Stock Two Smoking Barrels, Snatch). Check out the trailer: www.apple.com/trailers/ fox/the_transporter/ (eliminate the space at “/” and “fox”) - ENJOY!

Apparently, in the new Transporter - High Voltage - Stathom will die if his adrenaline levels decrease so he goes around electrocuting himself.

This sounds realistic, right?

I mean, seriously, between the Transporter and Crank, how many horrible action movies can Statham come out with?

I liked the first Transporter … I thought it was pretty damn good … the 2nd was horrendous and I’ll never see the 3rd.

Crank, on the other hand, was one of the worst pieces of shit I’ve ever seen. I’m glad I didn’t waste any money to see it, but I’m pissed I wasted my time on it. I just kept expecting it to get better, the girls never came. THE GIRLS NEVER CAAAAAAAME!!!

[quote]LankyMofo wrote:
Apparently, in the new Transporter - High Voltage - Stathom will die if his adrenaline levels decrease so he goes around electrocuting himself.

This sounds realistic, right?

I mean, seriously, between the Transporter and Crank, how many horrible action movies can Statham come out with?[/quote]

nnnooo I think this is Crank2, the narration starts by saying “this is chev chellios and this is the day I didn’t die.” They stole his heart and replaced it with a plastic one and he is trying to recover the missing heart.

why wouldn’t you just take the heart and let him die? Why would you put in an expensive plastic heart?

and how many bad movies did Jean-Claude come out with? at least Statham doesn’t have a mullet.

It’s Crank 2 : High Voltage.

And I thought Crank was funny as shit on a turtle…

[quote]OctoberGirl wrote:

and how many bad movies did Jean-Claude come out with? at least Statham doesn’t have a mullet.

[/quote]

Whoa, whoa, whoa, little missy. How are you gonna rag on the mullet?

Business in the front, party in the back!

[quote]OctoberGirl wrote:
LankyMofo wrote:
Apparently, in the new Transporter - High Voltage - Stathom will die if his adrenaline levels decrease so he goes around electrocuting himself.

This sounds realistic, right?

I mean, seriously, between the Transporter and Crank, how many horrible action movies can Statham come out with?

nnnooo I think this is Crank2, the narration starts by saying “this is chev chellios and this is the day I didn’t die.” They stole his heart and replaced it with a plastic one and he is trying to recover the missing heart.

why wouldn’t you just take the heart and let him die? Why would you put in an expensive plastic heart?

and how many bad movies did Jean-Claude come out with? at least Statham doesn’t have a mullet.

[/quote]

My favorite one was Cyborg.

Oh, and mullets rock.

[quote]OctoberGirl wrote:

and how many bad movies did Jean-Claude come out with? at least Statham doesn’t have a mullet.

[/quote]

But he’s also got some good movies as well, and is a good actor. That’s much more than can be said about Jean.
Snatch is probably one of my favourite movies of all time, Lock, Stock & Two Smoking Barrels is also up there.

Statham just plays a good role in cheeseball action movies… At least he looks the part, and it’s not Orlando Bloom or some other super pretty boy trying to pull off tough guy roles.

[quote]Itchy wrote:
OctoberGirl wrote:
LankyMofo wrote:
Apparently, in the new Transporter - High Voltage - Stathom will die if his adrenaline levels decrease so he goes around electrocuting himself.

This sounds realistic, right?

I mean, seriously, between the Transporter and Crank, how many horrible action movies can Statham come out with?

nnnooo I think this is Crank2, the narration starts by saying “this is chev chellios and this is the day I didn’t die.” They stole his heart and replaced it with a plastic one and he is trying to recover the missing heart.

why wouldn’t you just take the heart and let him die? Why would you put in an expensive plastic heart?

and how many bad movies did Jean-Claude come out with? at least Statham doesn’t have a mullet.

My favorite one was Cyborg.

Oh, and mullets rock.
[/quote]

isn’t Cyborg the one where Jean Claude was sued for injuring a stuntman?

The Transporter 3 acutually wasn’t bad if you just take it at face value as a good action flick. Plus it takes the franchise back to europe where it belongs.

besides the actress who plays the kidnapped daughter is so hot.

[quote]Rattler wrote:

But he’s also got some good movies as well, and is a good actor. That’s much more than can be said about Jean.
.[/quote]

Yeah, but can Statham match these moves?


Or these moves?


Or even these moves?

Screw mullets, rat tale is king!

[quote]OctoberGirl wrote:
Itchy wrote:
OctoberGirl wrote:
LankyMofo wrote:
Apparently, in the new Transporter - High Voltage - Stathom will die if his adrenaline levels decrease so he goes around electrocuting himself.

This sounds realistic, right?

I mean, seriously, between the Transporter and Crank, how many horrible action movies can Statham come out with?

nnnooo I think this is Crank2, the narration starts by saying “this is chev chellios and this is the day I didn’t die.” They stole his heart and replaced it with a plastic one and he is trying to recover the missing heart.

why wouldn’t you just take the heart and let him die? Why would you put in an expensive plastic heart?

and how many bad movies did Jean-Claude come out with? at least Statham doesn’t have a mullet.

My favorite one was Cyborg.

Oh, and mullets rock.

isn’t Cyborg the one where Jean Claude was sued for injuring a stuntman?

[/quote]

yep that’s the one. Awesome movie.

[quote]DoubleDuce wrote:
Screw mullets, rat tale is king![/quote]

I forgot about those things. do people still have them?

[quote]LankyMofo wrote:
Or even these moves?[/quote]

I know the last one is Kickboxer, but wtf are those first two?

[quote]Itchy wrote:
LankyMofo wrote:
Or even these moves?

I know the last one is Kickboxer, but wtf are those first two?[/quote]

I think they are part of some music video he was in. Some guy at my work used to send emails out every Friday titled Van Damm Friday with a weird VD gif. I ended up saving a few of them just in case he was mentioned.

[quote]Itchy wrote:
DoubleDuce wrote:
Screw mullets, rat tale is king!

I forgot about those things. do people still have them?[/quote]

I’ve not seen one in many a year.

[quote]DoubleDuce wrote:
Itchy wrote:
DoubleDuce wrote:
Screw mullets, rat tale is king!

I forgot about those things. do people still have them?

I’ve not seen one in many a year.[/quote]

me neither. Another thing I miss is white guys shaving lines into the sides of their heads.