there’s two trainers at my gym. Jimmy Nosleeves and Fatzi.
These are not their real names.
Jimmy Nosleeves clearly gets his mum to cut the sleeves off all his clothes. Even his jackets have no sleeves (and the guy is pretty overweight so it’s not like his arms are even impressive; there’s no definition between biceps/triceps). I strongly suspect it’s his mum who does it, despite the fact the guy is clearly in his forties.
I see Jimmy Nosleeves training clients, and he takes them around the weights machines in the order they are arranged on the floor (there’s no discernible system as to how they’re laid out, just appears to be random). I have never once seen anyone go back for another session with him.
I had the misfortune of witnessing Jimmy working out once. He loaded up the pulldown as heavy as it could go and presumed to do the classic lower back jerk pulldown that’s so popular amongst idiots. I was actually scared to walk past in case his flabby arms came flying out of their sockets and whacked me in the face.
Later I saw him benching in the classic “bro style” with the usual ass-6-inches-off-the-bench and only lowering the bar halfway down. Apparently he’s qualified to coach the Olympic lifts. I pray I never have to see it.
Then there’s Fatzi. I call her that because she’s a fat Nazi. To say Fatzi is a whale is disrespectful to whales, as at least their blubber serves a purpose. Fatzi enforces the gym rules with a chunky iron fist, and has routinely scolded me for having the audacity to move the pulldown bar from the pulldown to a different cable machine (there’s like 3 different handles for the pulldown, moving one does not inconvenience anyone in any way).
Fatzi is completely spherical, I’m not kidding or exaggerating, and her face is usually beetroot red from walking up the one small flight of stairs in the gym.
Fatzi takes the spin class, and it’s hilarious because it looks like a manatee is trying to disrupt the Tour De France. If I were one of the people signing up for the spin class and I saw she was taking it and had done for years, I would be VERY hesitant to attend, as it clearly hasn’t done shit for her.
-Could you allow yourself to be trained by someone who was out of shape themselves?
-If you were a trainer in the gym, would you not try and stay in shape yourself?
-What are the trainers like in your gym?