The Testosterone Inquisitor (Special Forum Edition): The World Leader in Bodybuilding News. And Other Crap We Just Made Up

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Newbie Steroid Users Can’t Spell “Steroid”

Colorado Springs, CO. In a disturbing development reported to be occurring at many internet discussion forums, novice steroids users are misspelling the word "steroid."

"It's not that you have to be a good speller to use steroids in a safe manner," said a moderator for the Testosterone drug forum, "but it's disturbing to think that some guys can't even spell the stuff they're putting into their bodies. I mean, you'd think they'd catch on to the proper spelling if they'd done enough research."

The usual misspelling causing the uproar, "steriod", has been spotted in numerous bodybuilding related chat rooms and forums. "I worry about the age and overall intelligence of the person posting if he misspells such easy words," says Tony Knotts, a frequent contributor to many internet discussion sites. "Are these guys smart enough to be self-medicating with steroids if they can't even spell the word? I see misspelling like that and I think 'dumb 14 year old on daddy's computer', you know?"

The controversy doesn't end with misspellings either. Grammatically correct forum members are also up in arms about the words "lose" and "loose" which they maintain are not interchangeable. "This isn't rocket science," says Bob Turner, forum user and grammar cop, "'Loose' is like something isn't tight. 'Lose' is the present tense of lost. Here's a sample sentence using both words correctly: I always lose bets I make with loose women in bars. Now, is that so fricking difficult? If I see someone wanting to 'loose weight' one more time I'll kill myself."

Citing freedom of expression, chronic misspellers, bad punctuators and run-on sentence users are standing up for their rights. "I can spel any fuckin way I want two," says Dave Peabody, a steroid novice who insisted we spell his statements this way, "It deosn?t reflect poorlly on my intelligance. This ain't english clas!"

"I just don't want the public to get the wrong impression of those who lift weights. We're not all meatheads who can't spell. Sure, we wear funny pants and sometimes shave our arms, but we're not stupid," said Knotts.

"Yea, well, skrew yu, budy! Speek for youself!" added Peabody ironically.

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This just in: Proponents of the “Lax Grammer and Punctuwation” movement have issued a statment questioning Mr. Shugart’s “Max Bench.” “WHAt IS youR MAX Bench?”, shouted a riled Vern Androw, despite no one else being in the room save a half-full box of kleenex and poster of pro bodybuilder Crag Tituss. T-Mag reporters quietly miendered out while Androw reitereated his question again and again. -Back to you Chris-

MBE: "There's no news like dese nuts since Today's edition."

-Eric

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Quite funny.

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That was soooo funny that I spit out my Power Drive Caramel Frapucino…

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Now that’s funny!

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Extreme funnieness. MBE, you are a brilliantly
deranged individual.

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In a related story, a US government cryptoanalysis division cooperated with local Colorado police in staging a confiscation raid. The combined task force descended on Biotest headquarters at 4:00 AM Monday morning and seized several T-Mag Forum posts, all by the same person.


“This person, who posts under the name “DEF”, has been under surveillance for a long time now. But we’re on to his game,” said Sgt. Surly Briskwit, leader of the task force. When asked what “game” that would be, Briskwit replied, “That’s classified, mister. But I can tell you that these so-called ‘posts’ are actually secret messages intended for middle eastern terrorists.”


When asked at a later press conference to comment further about what had tipped the government off about the posts, Lt. Reed Booksworth laughed. “Isn’t it obvious? No way they’re real, bodybuilding-related posts. Hell, half the time people responding to the posts can’t figure out what the hell DEF was trying to say. Nah, they’re covert. No one could be that stupid.” Booksworth went on to show charts matching DEF’s “English” posts up against various Arabic statements, and drew numerous parallels. “See,” he said, “this doesn’t even sound like English. We thought that this guy was just a retard at first, but after our Mid-East ops spotted the similarities, it became obvious.”


Agents are currently tracking DEF’s electronic signature and expect an arrest soon.

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Holy shit that was funny.

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Amen, brother!

The next article should delve into the secret world of people that develop mysterious areas of LOSS skin after dramatically reducing their weight.

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Hilarious! I just love that type of humer!

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Brilliant! Thanks for the levity Chris, MBE and Char.

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Damn I needed that after 8 hours of work, and 3 more to go. Thanks Shugs, MBE, and Char.

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gud StuPh ShuGs :wink:

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This is bullshit! Stupid people are victims of there school systems. Your making branding them rather then stating fax.

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Jay u r trewly an asshol and I reely think u shuld shut ur fukin’ mouht b4 you start runin’ ur mouth on the forem. Som posterz r relly f’en stup[id.

BME: “Internet spelign Icon sinse 1907.”

-Ericc

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Was Jay trying to be funny? Gosh I hope so!

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A parently Monkeyboy is insensative to the chalanjizz of the stewpud and there whey of comunicating. This thread was the necessary catalyst of a giggle that was sorely needed today.

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“Chalanjizz” (n): Ejaculatory fluid with the unique and undesirable trait of navigational dysfunction.

MBE: “T-Forum’s official DICKtionary since 1764.”

-Eric

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I hate to correct you on a public forum like this one, but actually “chalanjizz” was the stuff that NASA developed to better seal O-rings after the 1987 space shuttle disaster. Resistant to extremely low temperatures, the jizz has a number of industrial applications and is currently being used to impregnate Eskimo women.


Also, the navigational disfunction issue was solved in June, 1996 when Professor Egbert Headman successfully impregnated a sliver of lodestone with the jizz molecules, which then made it point to the nearest concentration of Hot Chicks. Shuttle pilots can now home in on Huntington Beach, California without difficulty.


Next time, please do your research.