âIntelligent Designâ working as intendedâŠ
Cause of death⊠selfies.
How are there 7 billion of us in this planet? Seems like we should remove guard rails and warning labels to thin it out a bit more.
I heard of one happening down at Ohiopyle a year or two ago, right near the observation deck for the water fall.
If jagged rocks and millions of gallons of crashing water arenât enough, I donât know what is?
On a side note, itâs amazing how desensitized we are. I just watched a guy be mauled to death and Iâm like, meh.
There are mitigating factors to my sympathy.
Random act of violence or unforseen misadventure makes me cringe. Mauled by a bear while trying to get a selfie with it? Nah.
I can watch thieves get mauled by guard dogs videos all day.
Iâm now suffering PTSD from seeing the underwear ad on that page. Would it kill you to give a brother a trigger warning?
Arenât ads targeted 
The internet thinks Iâm gay?* Is it because I ordered those colorful socks?
*Not that thereâs anything wrong with that.
Hey, a manâs internet history is his business*
*and the rest of the worlds if he has a Facebook account.
Wasnât me! I only browse for fat chicks and welding videos.
OK, I admit itâI have, on occasion, purchased underwear.
There, I said it. Feels good to open up to you guys.
Fixed that for you.
You gotta have the right personality to wear nonstandard socks.
I canât do it, but Iâm in envy of people who can.
Neither can I, apparently. I seem to have outkicked my coverage on the last batch I purchased. My wife actually laughedâas in, out loudâwhen she saw them.
Whatâs wrong with unicorn socks?
Not my students, but this was too funny not to share.
Which is counter productive when you think about it. Wouldnât fatter people survive stabbings better?