T Nation

The Streets of Chicago Are Finally Safe

In all his infinite wisdom the mayor of our fine city has rid our streets of evil drivers using cell phones.

The alderman who proposed the law, grandmother was run over/almost run over by a cell phone distracted driver.

Now no one has to worry about being run over by someone using a cell phone.

Now its a 50 dollar fine if CPD sees you talking on a cell (hands free is OK)200 bucks if your in an accident.

Yup…nice and safe.

What is still allowed:

Wrestling with 20 foot of headset/power cords to answer a call.

Looking for the Dark Side of the Moon cassette on the passenger side floor while smoking a Camel and trying not to spill your Red Bull.

Enjoying the morning paper folded neatly on your steering wheel.

Trying to eat a hard shell taco and balance a 90 oz Mountain Dew driving in a stick shift car.

Driving to your moms after you sig other kicks the crap out of you.

A screaming match with anyone while your behind the wheel “HANDSFREE” of course.

I am feeling so safe when I’m on the road now I want to add to the safe driving legislation.

When I was young(er) a crazed woman totally focused on her Arby’s Chicken Bacon Swiss Sandwitch jumped a curb and almost cut this T-man’s life journey short.

I would like all Arby’s chicken sandwitches banned while driving(dangerously tasty?). KFC(crap), Turkey, Ham , Salami are still OK.

Now all of thoes buttons and lights in the car not directly related to driving must be disabled unless the car is in park.

We cant have these yahoos flagrantly adjusting their radios and heat/AC controls while driving.

How about the most distracted drivers of all…the Chicago Police. Just look at all the radios, lojak, computers, displays, personal cell phones, cups of coffee, paperwork in their car.

I will agree with everyone that a distracted driver is not safe.

But does collecting 50 to 200 cash for cellphones make anything safer?

This is something that bothers me. That and those stupid day running lights.

People keep trying to find tricks to stop drivers from being stupid. My belief is if you cannot talk on a cell phone and drive at the same time, maybe you shouldn?t be on the road in the first place.

Last time I heard, eating and driving causes more then 5 times as many accidents. Researchers have said it is the conversation, not the phone, so hands free devices make no difference, nor does actually having that person in the car with you.

If you cause an accident, it is not the cell phone, it is the idiot behind the wheel. The person obviously considers the conversation more important then the driving.

Before everybody had a cell phone, at least 20 percent of the drivers I saw were complete morons. Nothing has changed except those morons are now carrying cell phones, and the cell phones get the blame instead of the moron.

Funny. I think cars need more tv monitors, dvds, and video games in them too. Of course that’s ONLY for the passengers.

[quote]The Mage wrote:
This is something that bothers me. That and those stupid day running lights.

People keep trying to find tricks to stop drivers from being stupid. My belief is if you cannot talk on a cell phone and drive at the same time, maybe you shouldn?t be on the road in the first place.

Last time I heard, eating and driving causes more then 5 times as many accidents. Researchers have said it is the conversation, not the phone, so hands free devices make no difference, nor does actually having that person in the car with you.

If you cause an accident, it is not the cell phone, it is the idiot behind the wheel. The person obviously considers the conversation more important then the driving.

Before everybody had a cell phone, at least 20 percent of the drivers I saw were complete morons. Nothing has changed except those morons are now carrying cell phones, and the cell phones get the blame instead of the moron.[/quote]

Those day time running lights are pretty useful in the right places. In the Mojave desert they are really needed in the day time. The heat waves off the street make it very hard to see oncoming traffic. So the lights help there.

I think driving with cell phones has made me a better driver. When some one does something stupid I realize they are not being ignorant, they are probably talking on their cell phone .I would also be a hypocrite if I didn?t say I talk and drive also.

[quote]The Mage wrote:

Before everybody had a cell phone, at least 20 percent of the drivers I saw were complete morons. Nothing has changed except those morons are now carrying cell phones, and the cell phones get the blame instead of the moron.[/quote]

Well said.

It has been that way for years here.

Get over it.

Yesterday on my way home down I-94 well within the Chicago city limits a person was impersonating a police officer. The person was in a CPD squad and in full uniform. The only reason I know they were not a real cop was the fact that they were doing 15 over the speed limit…and chatting on a cell phone!!!

HAhaha Chicago sucks LOL

Sorry about your luck.