T Nation

The Spandex Rule


#1

from Charles Staley:

[b]The Spandex Rule

Just because you can wear Spandex doesn't mean you should! The same rule can apply to training. Just because you can add weight to an exercise doesn't mean you should. You may need to master the movement first, then add weight later.[/b]

I just wanted to add to this, that just because they SELL Under Armour doesn't mean that every 65+ year old guy in the gym on the weekends needs to try to fit into one. This goes for those who don't really train either or who just started sporting Armoured pudginess.

To the ladies, just because they MAKE low cut jeans doesn't mean that every chic needs to squeeze herself into a pair. Rolls of flesh are sometimes good to cover up. They keep us from asking "why?". Tell your fat friend (pleasently plump rather...it's PC week) that G-Strings ain't for everybody. If you stand up and we can no longer see the top of the G-string, it is either time for a Tai-Bo powermix tape...or a change of wardrobe.

To the guys, Metro is dead. Let it go. Yes, you probably did turn some heads when it was really really cool to put glitter in your hair and throw on some mascara while wearing leopard print leather pants...but that was before women remembered that they wanted some dick. No, not "let me make love to you in the text book 'me on top of you' position while we pleasently hump our way to orgasm" type of dick. They remembered they wanted "oh my GAWD, where are my panties....This brother 'dun ripped my pants off and AAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!...I guess I'll have to buy a new coffee table" type of dick. Besides, your mother wants her mascara back.

Good tip, Mr. Staley.


#2

There's some real wisdom in there.


#3

Ha ha ha! I'm going to agree with you on this one, Prof. LOL!

My fiancee tries so hard to metroise me, and I'm doing all I can to hold on to my manhood. I know one day she'll realise how wrong she was.

And just to make sure, I'll never wear spandex or underarmour.


#4


What are you trying to say?


#5

Find a new shtick:


#6

The only time I wear Under Armour is when I play flag football and it's ridiculously cold. But here's the thing... I sort of take the name to heart and wear it UNDER the rest of my clothes. No one needs to see me running around the field in full on black Under Armour tights for upper and lower body looking like some kind of wacked out Spider Man. That just ain't right.


#7

I got this guy in one of my classes that has to be about at least 300+lbs. I dont think I've ever seen him wear anything but purple or black underarmour. I thought about asking him if he needed some cash to buy some more shirts, but figured he probably wouldnt like the idea as much as I do.


#8

Now THOSE are some strong words!


#9

Anyone ever see someone go out to the clubs/bars with an Under Armour shirt on like it's a fancy dress shirt? I've been wearing those things (under another shirt thank you) for a long time playing softball and they absolutely get you smelling real bad. The wicking action harbors bacteria in the pits and puts off a grand odor. So then these guys are in a bar and probably have the smellies pits and wonder why girls won't talk with them.


#10

Large beer gut + Under Armour = Always funny.


#11

X, great post...mozzle mozzle.

Also, just because they make Speedos...well actually nobody should be wearing those.


#12

One of those "skinny fat guys" always wears Under Armor to my gym. He's got little chicken legs and arms, a beer gut, and a comb over - and he can't be more than maybe 30! It always annoys me - this little bitch spends most of his time making aggravated faces at himself because he can't "squat" 155 on the SMITH MACHINE and then always conveniently jumps in on the equipment people who actually lift want to use.

Also, another spandex lover was there this morning. This guy gets on the shoulder press, unracks the bar, does a few reps, racks it - and then starts writing in his little notebook. If you have trouble remembering that you can barely shoulder press the bar, you're not only weak but stupid as well.


#13

My wife's cousin went to our wedding in Under Armour and a fanny pack..he went to
my wife's sisters wedding in tank top and fanny pack. My wife has one more sister and the bets are out on what he'll wear to her wedding.