The SHIT System vs. INNO-Sport?

[quote]Dr. Ryan wrote:
I’m interested in hearing you talk SHIT. Do you have to know SHIT to talk SHIT or can anyone just talk SHIT. It has been my experience that more people talk SHIT than know SHIT.

When are you going to get your SHIT together and come over here to shovel a load of SHIT for a seminar?

Are there different kinds of SHIT? How often should you SHIT? Are there dynamic effort and max effort SHIT days? Can you apply Escalating Density to SHIT? When you SHIT do you need to ‘grease the groove’? Should you perform a Valsalva when you SHIT?

Also, there seems to be some confusion with SHINOLA. It seems some people do not know SHIT from SHINOLA.

I would really appreciate your help in figuring this SHIT out.

You may want to rethink the mission statement. ‘SHIT happens’ sounds good to me. What do you think?[/quote]

SHINOLA is Romanian…completely different system.

Specialised High Intensity Neuromuscular Oscilatiry Linear Acceleration system for spinting. It is actually a form of Super High Intensity Training hence the confusion and the expression of not knowing SHIT from SHINOLA. It’s a newbies mistake and it is obvious from your post that you don’t know SHIT.

[quote]Dr. Ryan wrote:
I almost forgot. Are you planning on issuing diplomas or diplomate level degrees?

It would be great to be a certified
DipSHIT.[/quote]

There is an Associate Diploma which is an AssDipSHIT which really has a wow factor on business cards. You’ll never get one though.

Do you plan on having a certification? Because I imagine that once certified, a trainer would be full of SHIT. I think, given the complex metaphysical nature of the system, a title such as “SHIT Trainer Yogi” should be given to those who complete the certification. Then you’d have a core group of SHITTY trainers running around spreading the SHIT.

[quote]JOG wrote:
What would a complete phase of SHIT look like? Please give us something to work with a template upon which we can base all of our future training?
[/quote]
You can’t handle the truth.

I’m not going to get into the detail here but by way of overview:

We start every SHIT(Super High Intensity Training) cycle with an up phase of nothing but total CRAP(Concentric Rapid Accumulation Protocols) for 3 weeks before a down multi phase of non stop PAIN(Primary Aggresive Injury Neutralisation) which is always to be expected after 3 weeks of CRAP. The PAIN is follwed by a single week of nothing but OUCH(Over Utilised Compensatoty Helix).

Once that is finished we move onto the partner assisted work so you have to be totally ready to get your COCK(Compounding Oscilatory Concentric Kinematics) out and and give your partners ARSE(Assisted Reflexive Eccentrics) an absolutely thorough working over.

This is just about always followed by 3 weeks of PAIN again depending how big the COCK was and how experienced your partners ARSE is.
You don’t even want to know where we go from there because most people can’t even handle this SHIT.

Once you reach the Semi-final Undulating Concentric Kinematics Stage, you’ll be thinking this SHIT SUCKS. And by the time you reach Final Undulating Concentric Kinematics, you’re ready to say FUCK this SHIT.

[quote]Will Heffernan wrote:
It basically boils down to the fact that unlike INNO-sports system the evolutionary and insightful SHIT system has acronyms of 4 letters in total length, which is clearly an evolutionary and insightful leap as far as evolutionary and insightful systems are concerned over any system with acronyms of only 3 letters in length. That makes SHIT 25% better than than INNO.[/quote]

Look HefferNAN, I ain’t buying it. Even your math is faulty. In fact, a 4 letter acronym system is indeed 33% better than one with 3 letter acronyms. (4-3)/3 = 1/3 = 33% Even the error in your math is off, incidentally, by a third. (33%-25%)/25% = 8%/25% = 33%. It makes me wonder … is a third party involved here?

No matter. You, my friend, are merely SHITE (Sub-Human Incompetent Total Excrement).

[quote]JOG wrote:
Will Heffernan wrote:
It basically boils down to the fact that unlike INNO-sports system the evolutionary and insightful SHIT system has acronyms of 4 letters in total length, which is clearly an evolutionary and insightful leap as far as evolutionary and insightful systems are concerned over any system with acronyms of only 3 letters in length. That makes SHIT 25% better than than INNO.

Look HefferNAN, I ain’t buying it. Even your math is faulty. In fact, a 4 letter acronym system is indeed 33% better than one with 3 letter acronyms. (4-3)/3 = 1/3 = 33% Even the error in your math is off, incidentally, by a third. (33%-25%)/25% = 8%/25% = 33%. It makes me wonder … is a third party involved here?

No matter. You, my friend, are merely SHITE (Sub-Human Incompetent Total Excrement).[/quote]

All that proves is that SHIT is even better than INNO than I originally thought…thanks for proving my point…now why don’t you just go out for a run and leave me alone.

So, is a SHIT sandwich then simply a dual SHIT methodology superset?

Assuming I have correctly understood the above metaphor, who would you diagnose as most worthy of the SHIT sandwich protocol?

Finally, I thought the degree for this topic was an Associate SHIT Specialist? After all, who but an ASS could be so full of SHIT?

This is some good SHIT

[quote]Dr. Ryan wrote:

Have you heard of the Super High Intensity Training-Hypertrophic Eccentric Acceleration/Deceleration program (SHITHEAD)?
[/quote]

Hats off to you, Dr. Ryan. This is funny.

I dedicate this one to TC:

Anyone ever done CrossSHIT?

[quote]Dr. Ryan wrote:
MikeTheBear wrote:
Dr. Ryan wrote:

Have you heard of the Super High Intensity Training-Hypertrophic Eccentric Acceleration/Deceleration program (SHITHEAD)?

Hats off to you, Dr. Ryan. This is funny.

I dedicate this one to TC:

Anyone ever done CrossSHIT?

Oh no you didn’t…Now you did it.[/quote]

Does this mean we’ll have to suffer another invasion of SHITwits?

What would be wrong with a Compensatory Reahabilatative Oscilating Stability Sequence Super High Intensity Training style?

That seems ideal after a hard run of SHIT.

Also thanks for clearing up the difference between SHIT and SHINOLA. I thought it was just a matter of semantics, but apparently I don’t know SHIT.

I’m not even gonna pretend like this isn’t one of the funniest things I’ve ever read. And I LIKE Inno-Sport.

I suddenly have an overwhelming desire to use the toilet.

I don’t think you guys are taking this SHIT seriously?

Some of these training methods that people like Dr Ryan are suggesting are just ridiculous and only serves to illustrate how little you guys know about evolutionary and insightful training methodologies. For starters, training methodologies with 5 letters? What the hell is that about? 4 is the magic number. Go outside right now look at the wall of whatever hovel your living in. Look at the wall…what do you see…BRICKS…and how many corners does a BRICK have…4…what more do you need to know?

You have a choice with you partner work. Don’t be blinded by the initial complexity of the program it’s SHIT easy. I know some SHIT advocates here at T-Nation love COCK they can’t get enough and that’s fine at the beginning especially if you are just training at home or in your bedroom. Sooner or later you need to get into the gym and get a partner. The next question is then with partner work you need to get your COCK in somewhere? The obvious choice for most T-Nation adherents like I suggested in my previous post is ARSE. I say this because having spent a little time in the US with you guys I think that is what would suit you guys best.

I have spent a lot of time on the phone lately with Jim Wendler over at Elite he’s a great coach and athlete and very advanced. We’ve spent hours and hours talking about some of my more advanced methodologies and how they can work with less advanced protocols like Westside. Basically, Jim and I spend hours a day talking about CUNT (Conjugated Undulating Neuromuscular Training). To tell the truth Jim and I are obsessed with it. When you’re working at an Elite level with athletes of the calibre we are there are endless variations of CUNT to get into and I think Jim will agree that both ourselves and our athlete absolutely live for it.

Dave Tate will be writing an article to go along with his current weight loss and aerobics regime that Dr John and JOG are working on with him now that he has given up on life at the top…some would say given up on life full stop. It is quite sad actually as Dave has spent so long as a major innovator in CUNT work that he now seems to be rushing headlong back to ARSE.


What about SHIT Nutrition and Supplements, doesn’t an advanced program like SHIT need an equally advanced nutritional program, you can’t just eat any shit with SHIT, can you?

[quote]Eisenbeisser wrote:
What about SHIT Nutrition and Supplements, doesn’t an advanced program like SHIT need an equally advanced nutritional program, you can’t just eat any shit with SHIT, can you?[/quote]

I think any diet will work with SHIT. Diet only becomes a concern when you start the RUNS (Random Undulating Neuromuscular Stimulation). At that point, the trainee will need to decrease his or her intake of fiber and/or fat.

Will is going to be the featured speaker at Charles Staley’s annual bootcamp in October. Will’s topic will be KING(Kinematic Involved Neuromuscular Guidance)SHIT. Proving that he is the foremost authority on all things SHIT. After listening to Will you need to do one thing and that is to WIPE(Work Intensive Productive Exercise).

[quote]sully’s wrote:
Will is going to be the featured speaker at Charles Staley’s annual bootcamp in October. Will’s topic will be KING(Kinematic Involved Neuromuscular Guidance)SHIT. Proving that he is the foremost authority on all things SHIT. After listening to Will you need to do one thing and that is to WIPE(Work Intensive Productive Exercise).[/quote]

I will be speaking at Staley’s Boot Camp…a lot.

[quote]Will Heffernan wrote:
sully’s wrote:
Will is going to be the featured speaker at Charles Staley’s annual bootcamp in October. Will’s topic will be KING(Kinematic Involved Neuromuscular Guidance)SHIT. Proving that he is the foremost authority on all things SHIT. After listening to Will you need to do one thing and that is to WIPE(Work Intensive Productive Exercise).

I will be speaking at Staley’s Boot Camp…a lot.

[/quote]

So is everyone in for a SHIT day with you at the Boot Camp Will? Or is that too much SHIT for people to handle? No one would want to be in over their heads with SHIT.

Personally, I’d like to hear more about how to manage my SHIT. I think everyone could benefit from having a better understanding of SHIT management techniques.