T Nation

The Right Moment

I need the ability to fart at will.

Basically me and this girl I used to work with always play immature practical jokes on each other.

I emailed her last week telling her I had something really important to tell her.
She emailed back asking what it was,
I replied telling her that it’s something pretty big and I’m waiting for the right moment to tell her and I’m not sure how she’l take it.

For the last 5 days she’s been trying to figure out what it is, she keeps asking me what it is, but I just reply by saying I’m waiting for the right moment and I’ll call her when I think the moment is right.

What can I do to make it the right moment and release my big thing to her over the phone??

Anyone got any suggestions??

I usually tend to fart loads at night but none during the day???

I tried eating more than usual yesterday morning hoping the right moment would come but unfortunately it didn’t, I even tried drinking 2 glasses of milk, but nothing till late at night.

Ehh…ok. Beans…lots of fiber…bad whey protein…are you trying to have sex with this girl?

God I want you!