T Nation

The Return of Even More Movies You've Watched This Week III


#1351

He probably just wanted more guys putting their balls on his face lol.


#1352

@dt79

Is it time to go to the True Confession thread and start a discourse on teabagging???


#1353

Saw Halloween (the new one), what a giant piece of crap! It didn’t manage to maintain the creep factor the original had, the violence was toned down compared to most of the previous sequels and remakes, I believe the originals (barring the first one) were more graphic than this one, seriously like 90% of the kills were off-screen. The story was stupid, what they did with the characters sucked, the constant nods to the first film felt forced and unessecary, I prefer Rob Zombies (first) remake of halloween, and they clearly left it open for a sequel… how the hell did critics and audiences eat this one up. I left the theatre and I heard a group of kids saying “omg that was so scary aaaa”, and I was thinking “what was scary about this film?” The overuse of jump scares annoyed the shit out of me, jump scares are the cheapest, tackiest scare tactic in the book, and films these days tend to use them all the time, a noise with a loud musical note benig played isn’t scary, horror films need to quit it with all the dumbass jump scares.


#1354

In

image https://i.pinimg.com/originals/b3/62/2d/b3622d064dd7dea7ebfe650ab7347987.gif

Also watched this classic

image https://media.giphy.com/media/ZLs3WUkHKwsp2/giphy.gif

Yippee ki yay


#1355

One more thing about Bohemian Rhapsody.

Read the worthless critics’ reviews. They KNOW that this is a fucking awful movie. (Sure, you can have an ok time watching it because they’re playing fucking Queen songs for 2 hours, but it completely fails as a movie.)

Why the fuck are they praising Rami Malek’s performance??? He’s playing an overly-flamboyant caricature of Freddie Mercury with comically absurd facial expressions that belongs in a High School play. Look how they don’t have the balls to call it bad for obvious reasons which I don’t need to mention. Fuck this PC shit.


#1356

Told ya…

Understatement.

SPOILERS

  1. Why the FUCK didn’t she just MOVE across the country or abroad? Michael isn’t related to her anymore. Therefore he’s not expected to be looking for her to “finish off his family members”. What the fuck is he going to do even if he was looking for her? Hitchhike across the country in his stupid mask? Even if she wanted to kill him herself if he ever got out, she would still be able to know by WATCHING THE FUCKING NEWS from across the country. She could have traveled back there while keeping the rest of her family safe. This is a stupid trope that doesn’t work in this context because the character has to be someone who was abducted by aliens or a spiritual entity or something so the antagonists are not limited by GEOGRAPHY when looking for him.

  2. She decided to stay there in the SAME FUCKING HOUSE and traumatize her daughter as a child by forcing her to learn hand-to-hand combat and use guns plus making her stay in the goddamn basement for prolonged periods of time until CHILD SERVICES have to take her away? The movie wants us to accept that she’s the HEROINE and justifies these actions by saying she has PTSD???

  3. Knowing they painted themselves into a corner regarding point 1, look at the STUPID GODAWFUL TWIST they had to pull to get him to her house in the end. And what the fuck was she preparing to defend herself in her house for? There was no indication that he was ever going to come but for a stupid deus ex machina pulled by the filmmakers. It made no fucking sense.

  4. Why would you press yourself against the door to keep him out if TWO PEOPLE in a medium sized room HAVE SHOTGUNS and you KNOW HIS EXACT ENTRY POINT??? You simply wait for him to come in and BLAST HIM.

  5. The elaborate plan she had set up for the last 40 years was to somehow trap him in the basement while hiding in the basement, slip past him and get out by running up the stairs through the same entry point and then pull the lever outside to trap him and blow up the basement? Why not have a separate exit for themselves IN THE BASEMENT? A fucking back door! Or why not just wait for him to walk halfway down the stairs and BLAST HIM with the fucking arsenal they had there in a small, enclosed space? How do you miss him at that distance? Why go looking for him upstairs? What the fuck! FUCK!


#1357

spoiler alert

In the middle of the film when they were showing her training the daughter I turned to the person I was watching with and said “I think she might be a Republican”

Another thing I didn’t understand was why’d the doctor kill the cop? Wtf, he killed the cop, put on the mask, and was like “ooohhhhhhhh this is what it feels like” while prematurely ejaculating all over the cops corpse (this didn’t happen, but it would’ve made the movie better if it did because it would’ve at least added a laugh and some shock to an otherwise shitty, super tame film). That twist was absolutely retarded, there was no reason for the doc to turn psycho. Towards the end the chick shoots Michael in the head with a bolt action rifle… This should’ve killed him on the spot.

They made all the teenage boys look like assholes in the film because… Strong women?

Now the issues would’ve been okay had it been a splatter/exploitation film. However this was a very tame horror film by today’s standards, there wasn’t enough going for it to forgive the stupid plot holes, the boring story lines and annoying characters. It didn’t even need gore, they could have either made it a gorefest, made the violence more grisly and brutal or up the creep factor, however the failed in all three departments there.


#1358

And you know how in the end her middle aged daughter goes something like “Mummy was right all along! Everything I was put through was worth it!” as if Mummy had foreseen this stupid twist 40 years ago that was the ONLY reason he was led to her house? FUCK!


#1359

Yeh I was very disappointed. I didn’t expect it to actually be as bad as you’d made it out to be… But it was worse.


#1360

Lol I have a very high tolerance for dumb things in these kinds of flicks and I’m sure you do as well. The problem was they tried to make a movie like It Follows and wanted us to take it seriously. The characters in It Follows were young teens in a surreal 80’s type of setting who were discovering the world and their sexuality. They were supposed to do dumb shit at the spur of the moment. You can’t do that with Halloween. Especially if the teen characters aren’t likable or realistic and you have so much contempt for the males.

You’re right. They should have just gone with making a splatter/exploitation film although I doubt the director has the skill to make one that wouldn’t be laughably bad in all the wrong ways.


#1361

No doubt it would have called for a ballsy performance


#1362

Love me some Die Hard

NO SHIT LADY, WHAT DO YOU THINK I’M TRYING TO DO? ORDER A FUCKING PIZZA


#1363

So im guessing as a Queen fan myself I should avoid it until it hits one of the streaming services.


#1364

IMO yes. There’s really nothing good I can say about this movie other than Queen’s music was being played throughout it. Queens MTVs are more entertaining. If you really wanna watch something about the 70’s music scene, watch Almost Famous instead.


#1365

Queen created the first ever thrash metal song.

dadadadadadaDAAAAAAA dadadadaderderpflerpderpflorpflorp
dadadadadadaDAAAAAAA
dadadadaderderpflerpderpflorpflorp


#1366

The previews make it look like someone with a bad haircut trying to do jazz fingers with his face.

That’s just not good.


#1367

Stake Land 2

Stake Land is one of my favourite movies made in the past 10 years. This sequel starts out with an opening scene so awesome you think they’re actually going to outdo the first, then the movie gradually falls flat without a proper theme and a cliched plot and ends with a whimper. Very fucking disappointing. 5.5/10.


#1368

I thought Venom was awesome too! Don’t care if anyone disagrees, no shytes given.


#1369

I haven’t seen it yet but plan to.

This is how I feel about Bohemian Rhapsody. I enjoyed every single minute of it.


#1370

You really like it as much as that? I also thought the sequel sucked.