T Nation

The Return of Even More Movies You've Watched This Week III


#1311

Speaking of Cate Blanchett…

Ocean’s 8: The problem with this movie is that they tried to make the first two Ocean’s 11 movies, but with women. However, O11 1960 and O11 2001 had ensemble casts of “cool” male actors. Women, by and large, are not “cool”; “cool” is not a word we use to describe women who aren’t Pat Benetar.

So, this movie had a “cool” problem so what did they do but make one of the main characters a hot, butch lesbian complete with an old Land Cruiser, motorcycle, pantsuit, and shag haircut. There’s even a scene where Sandra Bullock wearing a man’s cut dinner coat with an untied bow tie around her neck visits her brother’s grave site and mixes herself a martini. There is nothing more uncool that carrying around the accoutrements to make a martini complete with olive in their own little tupperware container. It’s precious and affected. Had it been a guy her would have pulled a flask or a traveler and had a swig.

I don’t care if Hollywood wants to remake movies with women, POC, or whatever but make them good for God’s sake. Don’t just re-shoot the original with a different cast.

6/10


#1312

I’ve always been a fan of Dario Argentos work. First film of his I saw when I was about ten, deep red. As a matter of fact I ought to go rewatch his films. Ever seen inferno?

If you like Dario Argentos work you might enjoy Giallo films.


#1313

oh kid what have you done…

Go easy on him, dt79.


#1314

Yeah, I love Argento’s work for his film style and soundtracks. Even Mother of Tears had a pretty awesome soundtrack lol.

That being said,

I’m not really into slashers/giallos unless they’re really high on the exploitation or camp factors. Normal slashers put me to sleep. I’ll even admit I’ve never watched the original Halloween in it’s entirety.

He knows his stuff.


#1315

Define normal slashers, in the 80’s (otherwise known as the boom of the slasher film) tons of campy, exploitative slasher films came to rise, there was the mainstream(ish) ones like the burning, sleepaway camp, terror train, prom night, I wouldn’t define the giallo films as “slasher films”, slasher films originated (depending on your opinion of what a slasher film is) in 1978 with Halloween, however some will go further back, stating that psycho is the first slasher, or that “the toolbox murders, the texaschainsaw massacre, deranged: confessions of a necrophile, torso” and whatnot were examples of slasher films, however torso isn’t a slasher, nor are most giallo films slasher’s, giallo films tend to have a “murder mystery, whodunnit” vibe with far fetched, yet cool twists and plots, slasher films tend to be about a psychopath (typically very powerful to immortal) stalking and killing (usually) a group of stupid teenagers in brutally violent and creative ways, favouring exploitation over story or character development. The texas chainsaw has slasher elements, so does the toolbox murders, however neither are just “some dude is killing these dudes”, and they were released independantly before the slasher genre was popularised with halloween. Anyhow if you’re into super exploitative slasher flicks check out antropophagus, beyond the darkness (not slasher, but exploitative), the new york ripper, the house by the cemetary, intruder. If you’re into some of the harsher exploitation films you can check out I spit on your grave, the last house on the left, the house at the edge of the park, cannibal holocaust, and a serbian film, although I don’t recommend a serbian film, it was just disgusting for the sake of being disgusting, and the uncut version actually takes it too far, granted I was about 15 when I saw it so potentially I didn’t understand the message it was trying to make, but some of the scenes were just gross for the sake of being gross. Now there’s some even more extreme underground films that I’ll never watch and haven’t watched that I’m not going into because there’s no point watching them and I don’t think they should exist in the first place as there is NO artistic merit to them whatsoever.

I didn’t like mother of tears, I did like phenomena though (different film, same director) I’m sure you know of it though.

Doot DOOT dootdoot DOOT doootdootDOOTDOoTDootdootdootdoot doDOOT doDOOT doDOOT, I used to love this soundtrack.


#1316

Don’t know if it belongs in here but finished season three of Daredevil and wow it was great. I got a little annoyed with Karen’s arc and wish they hadn’t have put so much of an emphasis on her this season (gets an entire episode) because I feel like it just slowed the show down. Besides that I loved it. Bullseye was great and Wilson Fisk is probably the best villian any marvel property has ever had but I think that has a lot to do with Vincent D’Onofrio’s portrayal of the character.


#1317

See, this is the problem. They actually have a plot the filmmakers want us to take seriously. With the exception of Mario Bava’s work, I’m not investing my time following them when the acting and dialogue are so awful and the twists are normally unconvincing lol. When you strip them down to their bare elements, you’re simply watching a bunch of uninspired kills.

I don’t watch Tenebre once a year for the plot.

Psycho was an accomplishment in movie making. It could have been a movie in any genre and it would still have been a pretty great movie. Because it was Hitchcock at the helm. The use of camera angles and movement as a major story telling element, subversive plot structure, the film score and so on.

Movies like Halloween and the first 2 Friday the 13th movies started the “bloodless” psychopath flick craze in which you could bring your girl on a date to the movies on friday night and you wouldn’t have to worry about her whining about leaving the cinema after a fat fuck in a skin mask hangs a screaming chick on a meat hook lol. There was more of a focus on plot and creating suspense. These are the “slasher” flicks I’m referring to when I talk to someone and I don’t yet know how deep into this stuff he/she is.

That’s why they bored me to death. Other than Halloween, the others were just not competently made. Prom Night was boring. Sleepaway Camp was just silly. The Burning had a few good FX scenes but overall it just sucked.

I watch the more gory and exploitative flicks in the genre as pure escapism - the over-the-top violence and comedic value from the poor production values and awful acting. They were like slapstick comedies to me before the newer movies became self-aware and actually tried to be slapstick comedies.

I’ve watched all these except Antropophagus. I’ll check it out.

Yeah, I watched a couple of scenes on youtube before deciding whether or not to watch the movie and found them to be pointless and done just for the sake of it too.

Neither did I. The soundtrack was cool though.

Yeah. The acting didn’t suck for once lol. The story was silly but it’s Argento’s execution of the film that attracts me.

Put it this way. Argento wrote ridiculous scripts. He co-wrote the script to Once Upon a Time in the West. It was absurd if you really think about it. Real people don’t behave like the characters do. The plot has so many holes it’s not funny. The dialogue was horrible since it was probably translated from Italian. There were obvious dark skinned Italian actors with blond wigs on. Charles Bronson even plays a Mexican with a fake tan lol. But Sergio Leone’s execution of the film made you not give a fuck about any of these things.

That’s sort of what I’m hoping to get out of some of these films when I watch them although they are mostly limited to one or 2 brilliant scenes. And laugh at the really incompetent ones.


#1318

Charles Bronson is my hero mkay, Death Wish yeet. Did you dislike black christmas? I liked it, the whole “call within the house thing” made me go like “omg, woot, yeet, wow” Although I was like 12. Never saw when a stranger calls tho

Depends, the Friday the 13th films (well most of the originals) were heavily cencored for the R rating, I happen to have an edition of the films that has a reel of all the uncut kills in the special features section, the kills are far more graphic without the cencors. The new halloweens (the remakes) were quite graphic.

Well DON’T you worry then I have a comprehensive list of some of the shitty exploitation films I’ve seen that I can remember off the top of my head that you might NOT have seen.

  • Pieces
  • Mother’s Day (far more rapey than gory)
  • Absurd (unofficially an antropophagus sequel) just like how this splatter flick https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0078749/ was unnoficialy marketed as a sequel to Alien
  • Bloodsucking freaks
  • Don’t go into the woods (absolutely atrocious film)
  • The prowler
  • Nailgun massacre (I have a VHS of this one)
  • My bloody valentine (the old one, uncut version)
  • Nightmare
  • The house on dead end street (very low budget, semi-underground film)
  • island of death
  • Salo

I’d list some of the really extreme ones (which I’ve never seen, aside from 30 minutes of one in which I was like “nope” and turned that shit off, however I don’t want more people on here disliking me, enough people already dislike me being on here, then if I list like super extreme, graphic, vile films people will be like “what is wrong with this fucking kid” and the answer is “nothing serious” but no one will believe that lol. Interestingly enough I don’t really watch slashers, horrors or anything of that kind anymore, I got bored of them, I now like really depressing, nihilistic, cynical movies that have sad endings in which no one is happy, makes me feel better about my life hahahaha, I can’t stand modern hollywood in which everything conveniently wraps up with a happy, feelgood ending, it’s stupid, I also hate how so many films dumbed down to get that PG13 rating (COUGH venom COUGH) now they’re doing pg13 deadpool too, and films about sex trafficking (taken) had no business being pg13 either. Favorite TV shows are skins (a teen, drama/soap show from UK, very good tho), bojack horseman (dramady)

The original texas chainsaw was also bloodless, just far more gritty and visceral than other horror films at the time.

The new suspria film has a 2 an 1/2 + runtime, I’m sure critics will eat it up as it’ll be all artsy fartsy, but I bet it’ll be boring as fuck. The only horror film I’m looking forward to for the rest of this year is the house that jack built (and the new halloween, I mean come on… I have to see that).

On an unrelated side note, Blade runner… excellent cinematography, seriously it’s so beautiful both of them… BUT… besides the cinematography, in my opinion, they’re super over rated films.


#1319

Just started the 3rd season…really liked the 2nd (really only due to The Punisher), but the 3rd seems good and dark, and I feel like I missed Fisk in the first season, ha, for some reason I didn’t think he was as good of a villain as he is…but he really is played well by D’Onofrio.


#1320

Hell yeah!

No, it wasn’t bad. Oliver Hussey was really hot lol.

Thanks! I haven’t seen quite a number of them.

People don’t dislike you just because they bust your balls or get argumentative. This is a fucking weightlifting site, dude. It’s been like this for 2 decades.

The problem is the movie itself would have sucked badly even if it was unrated. It could have worked, or at least have been a competent introduction to the hero with a much better script before they release a sequel with a lot more violence. Deadpool wouldn’t work with a PG13, though.

Yeah, that was part of the problem. My ex-girlfriend got freaked out at the cook hitting the chick on the head with the broom! I was laughing non-stop but the overall tone, the grittiness and the fact that he was nonchalantly using a common household object that she could relate to got to her. But that’s why it’s a horror classic.

I wouldn’t say that about the first Blade Runner but I completely agree about the sequel. I hated it. It was boring, pretentious rubbish with worse dialogue than an Italian exploitation flick dubbed in English.


#1321

How old are you? If you saw TCM with your GF, surely that wouldn’t be in theatres would it? Because if it was in theatres and you were old enough to take your GF to it at the time you’re (no offence) super old by my standards lol.

I was also disturbed by this scene, because I was ten at the time of watching it hahaha. I was always good with watching films, I knew they weren’t real and they typically didn’t get to me, but the scene where the family psychologically torments her while eating her friends in front of her got to me for some reason, and the camera panning up at the terrified look on her face ten year old me was like “wow, this is fucked up, hope my parents don’t find out/ walk in on me watching this”


#1322

I’m 38. We watched it on video lol.


#1323

Watched Apostle on Netflix. They held nothing back. If you like gore and creepy horror you’ll enjoy this. I know I did


#1324

Monkey Up. It’s about a talking monkey that hawks ‘monkey up’ energy drinks. From the folks that gave us Air Bud & Most Valuable Primate. Watch for the strong gender positive(?) story line.


#1325

So no one is watching Bohemian Rhapsody this weekend with me since half my friends are Chinese and they don’t listen to Queen while the others are Indian and they’re upset they cast an Egyptian as Freddie Mercury. And most of the latter didn’t even know he was Indian in the first place until they read articles from a year ago about the possibility of Freddie Mercury being “whitewashed” in the upcoming movie. Go fucking figure.


#1326

Has the new Venom movie been talked about yet? I finally saw it and, while I would’ve liked the overall plot to have been structured a bit better, and a few things taken out and added in, I was not disappointed. They did a decent job of capturing a sliver of Venoms personality. Although it would’ve been nice to see them go back to his origins for like 3o seconds to a 1 min.


#1327

I’ll be going with some mates of mine. You’re welcome to come with.

Also I could be wrong but i’m pretty sure the dude who plays Freddie has some Middle Eastern heritage just like Freddie


#1328

I mean, it looks pretty big and nice at the right angles but I’m not sure I’d keep a framed picture of it on my desk at work.


#1329

Lol thanks.

I don’t know. I’ve never bothered to find out what ethnicity Freddie really was.


#1330

Hunter Killer

Boring… I actually nodded off several times. Only interesting thing about this movie is that the US president is an old blonde woman and Gerald Butler saves the Russian president who’s depicted as a pretty cool dude. Must have been filmed before 2016 and kept on the shelf all this time.