T Nation

The Return of Even More Movies You've Watched This Week III


They’ll probably throw in a fucking Siamese cat and brag about it.


Speaking of Asian stuff:

You know what prequel I’d love to see if John Carpenter were in the business of making fucking awesome movies again?

A Lo Pan origin story … fucking demons, gods, immortal souls, love, power … I’d watch the everloving shit outta that

and don’t forget the magic!! Gotta open it up with something small, because that’s how it always begins … very small


With all the hype around it im guessing they don’t want to show their hand until iit’s release.


Oh God no!


He’s too old, rich and melanin deficient. They’ll hand it to someone who meets the right PC requirements with nothing but one short film in his portfolio. Since Lo Pan isn’t based on any Chinese mythology(really, Carpenter pulled it all out of his ass lol), another screenwriter meeting the same PC requirements with an equally dubious portfolio is going to turn it into a hybrid mess that will piss China off enough to have it banned. Or it will just flop like a dead fish there like Crazy Rich Asians because they made a non-Chinese play a Chinese just because he’s an Asian. Then it will flop in the US and the SJWs will blame it on everyone citing hatred for Asians even though it flopped in China.


Of this I am aware but non-the-less…I get your SJW culturally woke points —however, if we could go back to a simpler time when one could get away with a movie like BTILC and do a prequel with Lo Pan … that’d be fucking awesome is all I’m saying …

I.e. if we were to remove all the bullshit from today’s film industry and just make a fun stupid move again like BTILC I’d watch the fuck out of it


Of course I’m game for that! The muscular dude that blew himself up by inhaling air has to be in it too. They need to cast an equally bad actor to play his role lol. Or fuck it, just cast Drax and make him blow himself up the same way. I’d pay double the admission price just to see that.


Shit man, might as well start up a whole new cinematic universe. A Lo Pan origin, then a 3 storms origin coupled with a Wing Kong and Chang Sing, a nod to the Lords of Death and how Wang’s family ties into it all … maybe a cameo by a young Egg Shen … fuck me, I’m going home and starting to write this shit


would this be better?




Have you seen XXX with Vin Diesel and…Asia Argento?

I think Diesel “acts” like a lump of clay, but I confess I’ve watched XXX twice.

(hmmm, maybe this should be a flame free confession as well lol)


Yes. She has never looked as hot in her other films as that one. The ones I’ve watched were Land of the Dead and The Stendhal Syndrome. The latter was directed by her father Dario Argento, the dude who made the original Suspiria. This chick is like the offspring of royalty to Italian horror movie geeks lol. Why did she have to go do all that dumb shit?


She was a SJW; what’d you expect?


It Comes 2019 (Japan)

Bizarre Japanese movie about a demon from folklore harassing a family as it’s initial premise. Then there are lots of twists and turns (some work really well) that leads up to an uber exorcism with lots of shamans and shit.

The movie starts out looking like a bloody old German expressionist experimental film and I’m going “oh fuck I’m going to hate this as much as Captain Marvel” but it finds it’s course about 10 minutes in and it’s immensely engaging even with a lack of narrative coherence. They tried to be too ambitious with an overly complicated plot structure which results in forfeiting any emotional connection to the characters and leads to a lot of things at the end unexplained. I don’t know whether to admire them for attempting to to what some of the best animes have done or to criticize their self-indulgence. It’s engaging but I’m not sure if it’s satisfying.

The direction saves it in the end. Some of the scenes are truly terrifying, effectively built up through expert use of sound, atmosphere and pacing. Unlike most movies of this kind, they make it very clear from the early in the movie that the demon is not fucking around when it manifests itself. It doesn’t just jump out and go “boo!”. It will FUCK YOU UP. 7.5/10


Strangely, my local theater is not showing it.


Sexist trolls must be running it.


Not sure on that … But damn some of the other movies they are playing are worse than CM quality wise.

Wonder Park

How to Train Your Dragon:

Captive State

A Madea Family Funeral

Isn’t It Romantic


The Upside

Happy Death Day
A Dog’s Way Home


Don’t you want to watch A Dog’s Way Home lol?


When it hits the streaming service… anymore I only go to theaters for big effect movies for the immersion . But, only ones that I might find entertaining and have somewhat of a good story to the movie for clarification.



Regarding what I said above … There are about 5 movies I will see in a actual theater the rest of the year. Be it because other family members want to see them or I do.

Avengers End Game
Godzilla King of the Monsters
Lion King


Triple Frontier

Watched this Friday with the wife. It’s a Netflix original with Ben Affleck, Oberyn Martell, Charlie Hunnam, and Oscar Isaac. Basically a bunch of ex SpecOps guys get together and try to rob a cartel boss. Hijinks ensue.

There’s a lot of dumb shit in this movie that will drive ex military guys nuts. I didn’t serve, and it still bothered me a little. It’s very well acted. It’s also a pretty dark movie, not just a mindless action flick. I thought it was really well done, but it always feels weird to say I “liked” or “enjoyed” a movie like this. Worth a watch though, for sure.