T Nation

The Return of Even More Movies You've Watched This Week III


Last weekend I went to see Mama Mia two with my daughters. I don’t like musicals but by god I enjoyed the movie regardless. Contrary to obvious plot holes and my abhorrence for random singing in movies I got into it.


The Meg

Meh… The shark is too big to use the normal shark movie tropes. Why the fuck are you trying to hide the shark like the first Jaws did? It’s MASSIVE. You can’t create suspense like this. But that’s what they did till the last act which had one awesome, over-the-top 3 second scene of Jason Statham fucking the shark up. Everything else was just felt weird. They should have just gone nuts and made the shark start fucking shit up like taking down helicopters and tearing naval warships apart or something.


worth a watch in a so-bad-it’s-good kinda way?


No. It wasn’t bad, just mediocre. This was made partly for the China market and Chinapersons don’t appreciate this type of humor. E.g, you know when The Rock ripped the bench from the ground in his cell and started curling it in that Fast and Furious movie? They took it seriously.


not sure if serious


Saw the equalizer 2, was meh, not as good as the first one, there was nothing better on. Blackkklansman comes out soon, can’t wait for that one


Watching this Netflix doco series I am a killer. It’s like watching mindless crap that isn’t important but it’s interesting to get some insight into the mind of killers


Along with the Gods 2: The Last 49 Days (Korea)

Fantasy drama from Korea starring the MMA dude from Train to Busan. This was like a masterclass in story telling. Highly recommended. Unfortunately, to understand this movie, you will have to watch the first part, which is the kind of Korean drama designed to make schoolgirls and housewives cry and the MMA dude wasn’t in it.

Note: 49 days is the length of time between death and reincarnation in non-communist Korean and Chinese mythology.


Mile 22

I watched this for the dude from The Raid. I expected it to be bad. It’s ok, I’m used to watching crap. Just want to see the fight scenes. WRONG. It was HORRIBLE. Nothing worked. You can’t see the fight choreography because they decided to film the entire movie like the Bourne Identity sequels with that stupid shaky cam. There’s lots of shooting but you don’t know who the fuck is shooting who because this director has no idea about the simple concept of geography(watch ANY John Mctiernan movie to see how this is done right even with a shaky cam). They tried to go gritty “realism” but the plot is too fucking dumb. And Mark Walberg talks too much. Fuck this movie. Fuck it.


Went to see BlacKKKlansman in theatres, it was… an uncomfortable watch, uncomfortable because it shows hatred, racial and religious prejudice that I don’t typically think about or see. It irritated me to think that there are people out there who will dislike someone solely based on a miniscule factor such as the colour of said individuals’ skin, what religious beliefs they have or sexual orientation. I don’t understand how an educated citizen could possibly think there is such a thing as a better race or religion, there isn’t any scientific data backing up these statements aside from the fact that people who have West African heritage tend to have a higher percentage of fast twitch muscle fibres (and this is a good thing, not a bad thing).

Other than the uncomfortable factor it was a very good film, well shot and acted, story was interesting and kept me glued to the screen til the very end. I did not like, however the fact that it had the usual Hollywood fabrication to it, the character had a completely fictitious love interest among a few other things to mention. I’ve seen some extreme films previously (a Serbian film for example) however none of them bother me as I know the stories are entirely fictitious and many of these films have extreme content for the sake of exploitation, however when a film comes out like this, based on actual events and it portrays hatred in a fashion that can still be related to today it disturbs me to think that there are people out there with such a mindset.


Crazy Rich Asians

Average rom-com that deserves a 6.5/10 but the critics don’t have any balls. Fairly accurate depiction of traditional S.E. Asian Chinese family dynamics.

For idiots now crying about the lack of depiction of Asian minorities within the country the movie is set in:

  1. The lead actor IS NOT CHINESE although he is playing one.

  2. A large number of the cast are Eurasian Chinese. Eurasians ARE minorities there. And, no, this does not mean they are from priviledged backgrounds unless they are decendants from the British(not always).

  3. It’s a story about a large TRADITIONAL, ultra-rich Chinese family. Of course there are very few minorities. You will not likely see many Chinese invited to a muslim wedding in Asia either.

So shut up.

“But… but… the movie is titled Crazy Rich ASIANS!”

This is a Western thing. Go take it up with the producers of the movie. I live in Asia and I don’t refer to myself nor anyone of any other race here as an “Asian” or “South Asian”, or “East Asian” etc.


Deadpool 2. Jesus titty fucking Christ, the scene where Cabel shows up at Wade’s crib to make a deal had me wheezing it was so funny.

Good movie. As good if not better than the first one.


The Nun

Almost made it into the “so bad it’s good” category because of the the last 30 minutes. It really shows how good of a director James Wan is. The story comprises of a lot of the weird stuff in his movies, but HE MAKES THEM WORK because he has the technical skills, understands how to develop characters and RESPECTS HIS AUDIENCE.

This movie was just silly and unintentionally funny. I was laughing non-stop throughout the 3rd act at stuff that wasn’t meant to be funny so it wasn’t so bad for me. But then I laugh at a lot of dumb shit(Death Wish 3 is a slapstick comedy to me). Others might want to skip this.


I just watched the nun last night. First horror movie I’ve actually enjoyed in a while. What made you laugh first? I laughed when the shotgun first got used.


Deadpool 2 is my fave!!!°


The priest talking to the “nun” in black after all the lights go out and suddenly she appears just sitting on the chair in the dark He’s the main source of comedy. Fuck, you don’t do that shit if you’re a veteran exorcist specifically requested by the Vatican for this. You go, “The power of Christ compels you!” and holy water the bitch! The dude turned out to be a bumbling idiot.

Then there was the part where he pours kerosene on the ground and sets it alight showing the shape of the cross.

Then someone in the theater shouted, “Oh no! It’s Michael Jackson!” when the possessed nun was standing with her body at a 45 degree angle to the ground.

Funny shit.


Conan the Barbarian (2011)

It’s really not bad lol. Probably a 6.5/10 because the ending was a let down. May trigger people offended by masculinity.

Look, you can’t cast someone like Jason Momoa in a role like this and expect male critics to not give it a bad rating. They have no spines. He looks like the guy that stole their lunch money in school and fucked the girl they were in love with but never had to balls to talk to.

And, come on. The original Conan was an awful movie. Admit it. John Milius is a wonderful writer of manly dialogue but he SUCKS BALLS at filmmaking. What made it enjoyable was ARNOLD, Milius’s occasional brilliant line and the campiness because it was so bad.

This is not what a “great movie that you can’t remake” looks like lol.







Making a statement like that takes guts.

Red Dawn was pretty good.