T Nation

The Psychological Side of Steroids

Hello all,

This troll is now a member.

Before I begin, please assume that everything I tell you is the truth and I respect your opinions. In exchange for my complete honesty, I would greatly appreciate yours. Where I am today is a result of me listening to people who know more than myself.

Let me first give you my personality background and history.

I am a genetic extreme hard gainer. I have worked out hard for years but never saw any gains other than being more cut. I was a tile setter (hardest trade next to brick layer) for 8 years until I went back to college. I was strong and muscular, but no matter what I did I never broke 150lbs 5’11".

Then I started eating right. N-Large, amino complex, ZMA, multi, 1.5 grams of protein/lb, and six meals a day that stopped until I started throwing up. In 3 months I went from 140lbs to 165lbs. Squats, deadlifts, and everything; hard.

I got zits all over my body, aggressive, my white sheets turned my skin color (oil) and I was so horny that I couldn’t even be smooth with a girl.

It was great. People I met started to say “but you’re not naturally skinny like me,” my parents started to say “steroids” to my face, and ladies threw themselves at me (which is another story that’s kinda sad, but that’s for later).

Then it stopped, everything was the same: eating, diet, sleep, regiment, everything, but the pounds stopped coming on.

It has been a year and a half now. I have tried “Anabolic Bursting” diet, creatine, different routines, but my body won’t gain!

167lbs and 5’11" (true 5’11", not 5’9" or anything) sounds tiny to you guys. I agree that I can not be at my natural limit yet. I will say that my father, who is an exact copy of me, was only 175lbs of pretty lean muscle until he was 35, and working real hard. Not to mention that I am shredded beyond belief with veins in my chest and legs, and have 15" biceps. My frame is smaller than a lot girls as well.

So I’m pretty satisfied with how I look, but just want 10 more lbs. I never want to be huge. Almost all my friends are huge, meaning at least 6’3" benching 350lbs. I just want to look like Christian Bale or maybe a little biger than Daniel Craig.

So thanks for bearing with me and here’s my point finally, 250mg of test-E only for 10 weeks. My body is very sensitive to any kind of drugs so I think it will be enough for 10lbs. I have done my research, am very cautious, will have nolva and even have a 45 year old friend taking Test replacement.

Will I be able to never do another cycle again? My discipline is great, but I’m not fooling myself. Can I not do it?

What does that have to do with psyc. You are basically justifying your proposed use to yourself.

Ditto. Who knows until ya do it. But you’ll probably see 10 lbs. in the first 4 weeks if ya keep eating as you report with the sauce

Show me a food log, and I’ll tell you if your ready to use. I thought I was gorging myself until I logged my food for a week. I was only eating about 4,000 calories a day.

Also, you say your working out hard, what is your routine like?

That MAY be your set genetic limit, but I would guess you could get that extra 10lbs pretty easy. Let us know.

Monopoly

[quote]Monopoly19 wrote:
Show me a food log, and I’ll tell you if your ready to use. I thought I was gorging myself until I logged my food for a week. I was only eating about 4,000 calories a day.

Also, you say your working out hard, what is your routine like?

That MAY be your set genetic limit, but I would guess you could get that extra 10lbs pretty easy. Let us know.

Monopoly[/quote]

I have been on the same diet so long that I admittedly stopped counting calories for the last 4 months. That and I have been living inconsistently with some trips and getting meningitis.

Here goes:
1st 5 eggs, 2 toast, glass milk, 770 cals
2nd can chillie w gratted cheese, corn chips, sour cream, milk 900 cals
3rd cottage cheese 350 cals or tuna 600cals
4th chicken quarter and rice, about 700 cals
5th whatever, about 700 cals usually
6th 100% whey protein/banana/olive oil/egg shake somewhere in the day, 650 cals
all conservative estimates

routine
Tues. lifts - bi, back, DL, abs
Thrus. press - bench, shoulders, chest, tris
Sat. Legs - Squat, calves, hams

BTW- supps are just shake, multi-V, and omegas if I don’t eat tuna.

[quote]Future2501 wrote:
Monopoly19 wrote:
Show me a food log, and I’ll tell you if your ready to use. I thought I was gorging myself until I logged my food for a week. I was only eating about 4,000 calories a day.

Also, you say your working out hard, what is your routine like?

That MAY be your set genetic limit, but I would guess you could get that extra 10lbs pretty easy. Let us know.

Monopoly

I have been on the same diet so long that I admittedly stopped counting calories for the last 4 months. That and I have been living inconsistently with some trips and getting meningitis.

Here goes:
1st 5 eggs, 2 toast, glass milk, 770 cals
2nd can chillie w gratted cheese, corn chips, sour cream, milk 900 cals
3rd cottage cheese 350 cals or tuna 600cals
4th chicken quarter and rice, about 700 cals
5th whatever, about 700 cals usually
6th 100% whey protein/banana/olive oil/egg shake somewhere in the day, 650 cals
all conservative estimates

routine
Tues. lifts - bi, back, DL, abs
Thrus. press - bench, shoulders, chest, tris
Sat. Legs - Squat, calves, hams

BTW- supps are just shake, multi-V, and omegas if I don’t eat tuna.
[/quote]

No offense, but that is whack. I admit I am meso-slightly endo but I eat a hell of a lot more than that and I wouldn’t gain shit from your diet either.

Chili and sour cream with corn chips isn’t food for bodybuilding, that’s stuff fat people eat at ball games. The crap in cans is full of preservatives and will make you retain water as well. I highly doubt you can get 40 grams of quality protein from the chili, and the beans do not count as they are not a whole protein source.

350 cals of cottage cheese? That’s a meal? That’s like calling 2 cups of milk a meal ! Come on now, carbs, healthy fats, etc. At least add a couple brown rice cakes to that and a handful of almonds or something.

Your body has been used to HARD ASS MANUAL LABOR, which means your workouts are probably a lot less intense. Those jobs suck, I’ve done them, and it’s really hard on your body which means you need to eat eat eat eat eat… how is your rest? How many hours of sleep are you getting per night?

Also, I would be willing to bet your acne before was from Nlarge-2. That shit gave me the nastiest acne I’ve ever had. FROTHING pustules… I hate hate hate Prolab.

[quote]H-Train wrote:
Also, I would be willing to bet your acne before was from Nlarge-2. That shit gave me the nastiest acne I’ve ever had. FROTHING pustules… I hate hate hate Prolab. [/quote]

Wow, H, zits from N-Large?! I hate the taste of their shit, but I downed it. Seemed Prolab you needed so much for a serving! I always took it or mixed it with other products!

As far as the OP, your diet sounded more,uh, SOUND!, before you listed each individual meal. More red meat, more high quality protein, and even with the tuna, you need a multi-oil supp, not just 3’s! Just a little tinkering with the proper foods, and you shoud gain, but f it dude, a little test never killed anybody!

[quote]shamus wrote:
H-Train wrote:
Also, I would be willing to bet your acne before was from Nlarge-2. That shit gave me the nastiest acne I’ve ever had. FROTHING pustules… I hate hate hate Prolab.

Wow, H, zits from N-Large?! I hate the taste of their shit, but I downed it. Seemed Prolab you needed so much for a serving! I always took it or mixed it with other products!

As far as the OP, your diet sounded more,uh, SOUND!, before you listed each individual meal. More red meat, more high quality protein, and even with the tuna, you need a multi-oil supp, not just 3’s! Just a little tinkering with the proper foods, and you shoud gain, but f it dude, a little test never killed anybody![/quote]

Yeah my workout buddy and I were using it together and we both had the same exact problem/result. Not just mild acne, I’m talking huge, painful, enflamed pustules… maybe it was a bad batch or something, but I always thought their creatine sucked too… and YES, the protein powder sucked too-tasted like chalk.

This post was flagged by the community and is temporarily hidden.

I think that your problem is food. Just to compare with my food log:

M1: 6whole eggs+4 egg whites, 2 whole wheat toasts with butter + fruit

M2: 200g chicken with 100g brown rice + 100g Prot Shake

M3: 300g chicken with 80g brown rice

M4: 300g meat with 100g vegetables + 100g Prot Shake

M5: 200g meat with 100g vegetables

M6: 2 cans of tuna with olive oil aprox 160g tuna

The days I weight train is the same meals plus the addition of:

Peri workout: 30g dextrose + 60g Whey

Post-workout: 30g dextrose + 100g whey

For the record I am 5,9 and 205 with 30inch waist. Not supercut, but not fat either.

Bottom line I think you have to eat a lot more natural food before injecting some chemical that WILL NEED MORE PROTEIN TO WORK!

One other thing you could try is full body or high frequency training for a bit (CT lays out a plan this week). If you have done well for a while on a split routine it may help to switch things up for a bit. Once you have tried that and fixed up your diet a bit then hit the sauce.

Thanks ,most of you, for your input.

Some things in my post were implied but not explicite, and some people didn’t find a connection.

For the chillie, I mix a lot of corn chips into it to give it texture and the corn and beans create a complete amino acid, like beans and rice.

As for water retention, it doesn’t happen with me. In fact at the gym, it is not uncommon for me to put on 7lbs of water, I’m not kidding. I also never sweat unless I’m doing stationary cardio with frequency changes.

I put olive oil in everything I can think of: protien shakes, eggs, chicken recipes, toast. It is the densest form of calories I can find and buy it by the gallon.

I also am a college student now with no physical demands. I lift three times a week because I want to fully stress my body to the max at the gym, and have experienced overtraining and don’t like it.

As for the time I was gaining like crazy, the only thing I was doing different was taking an amino syrup, ZMA at night and taking N-large twice a day (I liked the taste. My cardio isn’t as consistent as it was back then either, it used to be 45min every day. Other than that it was all natural, it was awesome too. Haven’t been able to duplicate it.

I can only work out at night because I use the schools gym 6-10pm, and with the cardio room full of young girls I hate being the only guy in their, but with this bad weather what can you do. Yes I don’t like the idea of girls thinking I want to be looked at, no I’m not shy (far from it), no I’m not gay (faaaar from it).

So buy more N-large and drink it two times a day, do cardio more and what else?

Once again thanks a lot guys.

Oh god, prolab n-large. I’ve had so many of those that just the thought turns my stomach. My and a bro bought the like 4 of the 10lb buckets, that was a mistake.

To the OP, I just added your cals and I get 4300. I don’t know if you over estimated or not as I didn’t cross check with fitday or the like. My guess is that your closer to 3800.

With as much labor as your job is, plus gaining weight, you def need more. I’m more of a Dave Tate style bulker, lots of food and any kind. Here is something I just spitballed

Meal 1:
6 whole eggs, 4 whites. Slice of cheese, bagel with cream cheese, sausage or bacon and a glass of milk.

Meal 2:
gainer shake. 3 scoop Metabolic Drive with 16oz whole milk, add pb or whatever.

Meal 3: Something leftover or fast food meal. Whole pizza, 4-5 burgers, etc. I used to eat 4 double stacks a day at one point because I was so broke and it got me my calories

Meal 4: Same as meal 2

Meal 5: Huge dinner of whatever you have. Chicken/steak/fish/meat with good carbs and a veggie

Meal 6: Same as meal 2 and 4

Meal 7: Something prebed. Cottage cheese, another shake, more eggs, anything.

Add in a shake during the middle of the night if you still need more.

I realize that alot of these calories are coming from PP, but with the milk it makes it more like whole food IMO. This also makes it easy to pack food for the days work.

Only working out 3 times per week? I would say at least 4 if not 5 times.

I would say adding in the extra cals and workouts would get you the weight you desire. Then, 15lbs later when you still want more, you’ll be ready to use. Good luck.

Monopoly

Thats weird about the NLarge2 stuff giveing you acne. I used it loads of times even when I was on a pure d-bol cycle and did’nt get any. Also I’m younger than most of you guys so I thought I’d be more suseptible…lucky me I guess, maybe I’m one of those guys who can take 1g a week of test all yearround and not get gyno.

For the last time:

I am a college student, not a tile setter anymore.

I have no physical demands on my body.

[quote]Future2501 wrote:
For the last time:

I am a college student, not a tile setter anymore.

I have no physical demands on my body. [/quote]

Sorry, I missed that. Maybe nix the midnight shake, otherwise I’d keep it the same.

Monopoly

I was looking forward to the reason why young, hot, sweaty college girls were hurling themselves at you by the dozens.

Your food intake and training are your problems. A lot of first time users don’t get the gains they expect out of their cycles because they don’t give their body’s the raw materials to work with. If your natural and not consuming enough nutrients then you’ll really setting yourself up for a letdown by thinking juice will be your end all answer.

Corn chips and chili equal amino acids? Thats hopeful, at best.

I hate to ask, but in the OP, you said you had that many zits, but girls still threw themselves at you!!! WTF!