T Nation

The Plastic Kinfe Conspiracy Theory

Ok, I think that something’s going on here, and we all should be concerned. I’ve noticed that all of the grocery stores in my area sell the assorted plastic silverware, plastic forks, and plastic spoons. But they do not sell plastic knives! Because of this, I have an abundance of plastic forks and spoons, yet am forced to purche the assorted packs, just to get the knives.

What is going on here?

That’s fucked up, dude. Totally inexplicable. It really shouldn’t be so hard to get a plastic ka-nife.

“We gotta change the system!” – Jerry Seinfeld

Dude, it’s kinda like the 8 pack of hotdog buns, with the 10 pack of hotdogs. JUST ANOTHER WAY TO MAKE US SPEND MONEY!!

JWright: simple. Just double-up the dogs in one bun.

Geez, am I the only one who knows how to eat around here?

Ok, so that would leave us with 3 buns left. You would have to buy 5 packs of 8, and 4 packs of 10 to equal out. Anyone up for a cookout?

Sure, I’ll bring the korks and spoons!

I’m sure that there’s a valid reason for you using plastic cutlery, but whats wrong with actual silverware? I mean, it don’t hafta be silver or nothin…

Use real silverware?!?

The problem is that I work in a Gov’t building. If I tried to bring a knife to work, I could be subject to things like FBI interrogations and body cavity searches. AND, they might even take the knife from me - it’s just not worth the risk!