The Month Before Christmas

Twas the month before Christmas
When all through our land,
Not a Christian was praying
Nor taking a stand.

See the PC Police had taken away,
The reason for Christmas - no one could say.

The children were told by their schools not to sing,
About Shepherds and Wise Men and Angels and things.

It might hurt people’s feelings, the teachers would say
December 25th is just a ‘Holiday’.

Yet the shoppers were ready with cash, checks and credit
Pushing folks down to the floor just to get it!

CDs from Madonna, an X BOX, an I-pod
Something was changing, something quite odd!

Retailer s promoted Ramadan and Kwanzaa
In hopes to sell books by Franken & Fonda.

As Targets were hanging their trees upside down
At Lowe’s the word Christmas - was no where to be found.
At K-Mart and Staples and Penny’s and Sears
You won’t hear the word Christmas; it won’t touch your ears.

Inclusive, sensitive, Di-ver-si-ty
Are words that were used to intimidate me.

Now Daschle, Now Darden, Now Sharpton, Wolf Blitzen
On Boxer, on Rather, on Kerry, on Clinton!

At the top of the Senate, there arose such a clatter
To eliminate Jesus, in all public matter.

And we spoke not a word, as they took away our faith
Forbidden to speak of salvation and grace.

The true Gift of Christmas was exchanged and discarded
The reason for the season, stopped before it started.

So as you celebrate ‘Winter Break’ under your ‘Dream Tree’
Sipping your Starbucks, listen to me.

Choose your words carefully, choose what you say
Shout MERRY CHRISTMAS not Happy Holiday!

Merry Christmas to one and all!

this is racist and unconstitutional

[quote]Standard Donkey wrote:
this is racist and unconstitutional[/quote]

Sorry, Happy Hanukkah!

Happy/ Merry ______________ everyone!

Oh noes!!!

The war on Christmas.

Happy Holidays.

(Much easier than saying Happy Thanksgiving, Merry Christmas and Happy New Year)

It it okay to have a merry Thanksgiving and a happy Christmas?

[quote]pookie wrote:
It it okay to have a merry Thanksgiving and a happy Christmas?[/quote]

Why do you hate Christmas?

[quote]Christine wrote:
pookie wrote:
It it okay to have a merry Thanksgiving and a happy Christmas?

Why do you hate Christmas?[/quote]

Because I have to dive deep into the most remote storage areas of the house, banging my head and inhaling dust to retrieve a giant box containing a fake silver fyr made of metal rods and plastic needles.

Then I must bring that giant box back up to the living room and waste what could be perfectly good gaming time assembling that contraption. Once it has assumed a vaguely triangular shape, it gets plugged in and the next “boredom challenge” begins: Find out which lights are burnt out and are preventing the 40 others on the same wire from lighting up.

Once the light situation has been resolved - and never with my initial proposal of uniformizing them by having them all “off” - we get to the decorating part. I’ll spare you the details because I’ve just discovered that my knowledge of English does not include the words pertaining to all the crap that gets hooked on that simulated tree. Tinsel I know. Shiny balls, one or two of which always gets knocked out and broken each year. (Despite my best efforts to increase that shiny-ball body count, new ones appear yearly.) Long strands of shredded aliminum paper. Tiny snowmen. A T-Rex.

Now, if you’ve read tihs far, read it again from the bottom going up to simulate the reverse process I’ll have to go through at the beginning of January.

Halloween rules.


May you and your family Have joyous celebration of our saviors birth this holiday season.

Is that adequate?

PS I am not being sarcastic, I am sincere. Thanks for the poem.

Happy Chrismahanukwanzzakah to one and all!

I agree. The original reason for this holiday season has been forgotten for too long. But no longer, by gosh.

Therefore, I hereby wish all of my T-Nation brethren and sistren a Joyous Winter Solstice.

Merry Christmas and a happy Channukah to T-Nation.

Fuck Kwanza though, that shit ain’t legit.

Merry [edited for offensive content]mas! And [edited for offensive content] bless you all!

God I love how people freak out about such manufactured controversy. I’m a fucking atheist and I still say merry christmas. NO ONE IS ATTACKING CHRISTMAS. It’s just morons at a few corporations freaking out about being PC for the holidays…which seriously, they’re perfectly free to do.