Yes, you are sexy. You knew it when you woke up this morning. You are so hot you would burn your fingers if they so much as grazed that ass of yours that can only be described as “junk” in the proverbial trunk. You are IT.
Yes, try on those low cut jeans. You know you want to, and you know those jeans were made just for you. Too tight? Who cares!?
My milk shake brings all the boys to the yard, and they’re like, its better than yours. Damn right its better than yours.
I could teach you but I’d have to charge.
According to the Journal Diabetes Care, while 87 percent of the teens were classified as overweight, only 41 percent of parents and 35 percent of kids themselves said they were “very overweight.” Of the parents who said their child’s weight was “about right,” 40 percent were in the 95th percentile of weight for their age (50 percent of teens who said their weight was about right fell into this category).
That’s right, the muffin top is now NORMAL.
Yes, big girls, you were waiting on this all of your ice-cream laden lives. No piece of clothing is out of reach for you any longer. Cheer aloud. You can now slip on that bikini bottom with the G-String and hit the club…and no one will point and laugh. I mean, hey, they’re fat too!!
Have a cute baby tee with “Sperm Trap” written in glitter on the front? Let that shit hang out and shake what your momma gave you.
You are no longer alone my cute muffins. You are now the GOAL!