T Nation

The Mighty Muffin


Yes, you are sexy. You knew it when you woke up this morning. You are so hot you would burn your fingers if they so much as grazed that ass of yours that can only be described as “junk” in the proverbial trunk. You are IT.

Yes, try on those low cut jeans. You know you want to, and you know those jeans were made just for you. Too tight? Who cares!?

My milk shake brings all the boys to the yard, and they’re like, its better than yours. Damn right its better than yours.
I could teach you but I’d have to charge.

According to the Journal Diabetes Care, while 87 percent of the teens were classified as overweight, only 41 percent of parents and 35 percent of kids themselves said they were “very overweight.” Of the parents who said their child’s weight was “about right,” 40 percent were in the 95th percentile of weight for their age (50 percent of teens who said their weight was about right fell into this category).

That’s right, the muffin top is now NORMAL.

Yes, big girls, you were waiting on this all of your ice-cream laden lives. No piece of clothing is out of reach for you any longer. Cheer aloud. You can now slip on that bikini bottom with the G-String and hit the club…and no one will point and laugh. I mean, hey, they’re fat too!!

Have a cute baby tee with “Sperm Trap” written in glitter on the front? Let that shit hang out and shake what your momma gave you.

You are no longer alone my cute muffins. You are now the GOAL!

Jesus, that’s sad.

[quote]MarvelGirl wrote:
Jesus, that’s sad.[/quote]

Agreed

[quote]MarvelGirl wrote:
Jesus, that’s sad.[/quote]

and vomitous


Frequently accompanied by the “gunt”.

[quote]dirtbag wrote:
MarvelGirl wrote:
Jesus, that’s sad.

Agreed[/quote]

You know what’s more sad? Someone is fucking them.

We call that the “fupa”

fatty upper pussy area

what a stupid world.

How do people like this find a way to get up every morning?

-dizzle

[quote]LankyMofo wrote:
Frequently accompanied by the “gunt”.[/quote]

AKA “Front Butt”.

Yes, you are sexy too, Mrs. “I can fart from the front”.

[quote]A-Dizz wrote:
How do people like this find a way to get up every morning?

-dizzle[/quote]

By eating another muffin.

I agree it’s sick and sad, but I hate those kinds of statistics. I fall in the obese category according to my BMI. X, you are probably morbidly obese.

I know weightlifters aren’t the norm, but it just shows the logic flaws in the statistics.

[quote]iamthewolf wrote:
what a stupid world.[/quote]

Hey, hey hey! These are VERY intelligent people who just don’t notice what fat is anymore. I mean, how could they?

I was watching Stand By Me again (for the 500th time in my single life time) and I noticed that “the fat kid” in the movie wouldn’t even qualify as such today. If they made that movie now, ALL OF THEM would be that fat and the “fat kid” would have to weigh like 270lbs just to earn the title.

They are “fat desensitized”. They only see skinny people unless they get big enough to become bed ridden.

[quote]DoubleDuce wrote:
I agree it’s sick and sad, but I hate those kinds of statistics. I fall in the obese category according to my BMI. X, you are probably morbidly obese.

I know weightlifters aren’t the norm, but it just shows the logic flaws in the statistics.[/quote]

Very true. I think my BMI is in the 40’s. However, I get the feeling that most high school kids today aren’t even working out at all and rarely even play sports…or go outside.

My girlfriend and I recently saw a young lady with a “reverse muffin top.”

She had no real overhang in the front, but the fat hanging over her belt line above her ass could only be described as muffinesque.

Damn that shit is fucking gross. Seriously HATE seeing that every time I go out in public…EVERY time!

The BMI talk is a good idea for another thread. What’s your BMI? How overweight are you considered to be? Mine is 29 and still going up, once I hit 30 I am obese - I can’t wait!

This is making me hungry.

[quote]MarvelGirl wrote:
We call that the “fupa”

fatty upper pussy area
[/quote]

I feel dirty whenever I hear a girl say “pussy”. Does that make me a pussy?

[quote]LankyMofo wrote:
MarvelGirl wrote:
We call that the “fupa”

fatty upper pussy area

I feel dirty whenever I hear a girl say “pussy”. Does that make me a pussy?[/quote]

Giggidy.

This is why there are more hot chicks in Europe. They don’t lose as many potential 8s, 9s, or 10s to fatness.