I saw this movie in the theater a few years ago and thought it was pretty good. So last night I thought it’d be a good idea to watch it again…wrong.
This movie is a flaming pile of horse shit. For starters they play up this whole honor thing like the samurai have a monopoly on it. That’s right, the samurai, who were a bunch of bullies and thugs somehow think that they lead some life of honor.
Next they go around making this big point of how awesome they are because they use swords while these other folks use guns. But then you go to the last battle and they are shooting bows and arrows using them as an indirect fire weapon.
Of course they did this after the soldiers shot their guns and were fixing bayonets to fight hand to hand; something the samurai supposedly should have thought was cool. There’s a hell of a lot more honor in shooting a man with a direct fire gun than an indirect fire bow. That said, fighting with a bayonet = sword and fighting direct fire with guns = direct fire bow.
Then after they did well against the first wave they decide to engage in some suicide charge against the gatling guns instead of fighting a protracted guerilla war that they could have won. Of course, despite being shot multiple times, Tom Cruise is the only guy to survive out of 500 warriors.
Finally, the emperor finds his balls after all of those guys die. But what sticks in my craw worst of all is Cruise, in his 7th Cav uniform bowing ON HIS HANDS AND KNEES before the emperor, saying shit like, “If you want me dead, just order it and I’ll gladly take my own life.”
You know who is worth anyone getting on their knees for? NO ONE. That’s one of the most degrading acts a person can do. This movie is one of the stupidest pieces of shit I’ve ever seen. They should have called it “American gets Stockholm Syndrome and Becomes a Dipshit”