T Nation



After a Halloween splurge my junior year, I quit eating bad food cold turkey and started hitting the gym at least 5 times a week. Four years later, I look back and I know I've made a ton of progress. At the same time, however, I know that I want to go so much further.

This part year has been particularly great for my training; I've seen some great improvements in my strength. At 6'4', 220, I'm not a tiny guy, but I've always said that I want to be the leanest, strongest 225 I can be, so even once I get those last five pounds put on, I have somewhere to go.

Recently, however, I've really been struggling with what to do with my diet. Do I want to bulk? Well, no, but I want to put on weight! "I'll try the Anabolic Diet because it promises that I can stay lean while putting on mass," I told myself.

After about 2 months on AD, I had made some solid progress, but let me tell you I fucking hated every day of it. I didn't like have meat, eggs, and cheese for 70% of my meals. I looked forward to my refeeds, but I was sick of carbs after my first meal. I tried cutting on AD, and then I tried to Get Shredded Diet (which is basically AD with more veggies and less refeeds.)

I was in diet purgatory.

I'm not saying that the bulk/cut method doesn't work, but I just hated to overall experience. I hated trying to get big while keeping my fat down, and I hated having to diet to feel like I wasn't a fat ass. As I look back to the past four years of my training, for the vast majority of it, I just didn't worry about my diet. I ate when I was hungry, and I didn't eat like shit.

What I realized is that I am only 19. I don't need to be in this crazy rush to get to my long-term goal weight. I wanted a quick fix for my size goals, and what I finally realized is that while I could do a weight gain program, frankly it's just not what I really wanted.

If it takes me a year to put on five pounds of muscle, then I'm okay with that. When I came to college I weighed 178 fucking pounds. Now I weigh 220. I don't know why I've been in such a hurry lately, but I'm ready to enjoy the journey again without stressing about everything that I'm doing.

So, without further ado, I would like to present the:
"Jesus Fucking Christ. Shut Up and Eat Already" Diet

The Rules are Simple.
If you're hungry, eat.
Try to eat consistently throughout the day.
Eat good foods: just make sure that your getting a good amount of clean protein and minimizing your shitty carbs. Don't give me the "Well what IS "healthy?" response.
Lift heavy weights. Squat.
Do conditioning. Run hills. Stop being such a fucking pussy.

While this diet won't work for everyone, I certainly look forward to enjoying my slow gains over the next five years. My body is a temple, and I'm gonna rock this bitch.

Edit: I just realized that the acronym that I used in the title in no way matches the actual title I provided. I think it was supposed to stand for something else at first, but I don't actually remember what that was anymore >.>


Deep Thoughts, By Obisidian


At least I'm hung like a gorilla.



I'm a grower, not a shower.


I feel like that's probably just what all guys with small penises say, though.