Since some of us are still in school writing fun papers and others who completed school who wrote many papers, I was hoping if we could all help eachother out.
I am doing a paper and was wondering how this sounded to you guys and girls. Is there any other way to make this flow better or should I leave it?
“For perceptual motor abilities we had done four different tests. The tests were dealing with are; multiple limb coordination by juggling a soccer ball with feet, aiming through shooting a basketball, reaction time by clicking a stop button when the computer screen turned colour, and arm-hand steadiness where subjects had to hold a pen in a ring without either touching each other.”
[quote]Fuzzyapple wrote:
Since some of us are still in school writing fun papers and others who completed school who wrote many papers, I was hoping if we could all help eachother out.
I am doing a paper and was wondering how this sounded to you guys and girls. Is there any other way to make this flow better or should I leave it?
“Four tests were used to establish perceptual motor abilities. The tests included multiple limb coordination by juggling a soccer ball with the subject’s feet, eye-hand coordination by shooting a basketball with subject’s hands, hand reaction time by pressing a stop button when the computer screen turned colour with subject’s digitus primus, and arm-hand steadiness by avoiding the inside of a ring with a pen with subject’s hand.”
Thanks.[/quote]
I hate editing just single sections like this, and you should really just write out the paper all at once then edit it [if you can get it, get a program that writes as you speak]. Otherwise it’ll veer off into weird directions (my experience).
“The tests were dealing with are;” - ? makes no sense.
“aiming through shooting a basketball” - “through” does not seem right here.
“reaction time by clicking a stop button when the computer screen turned colour” - “turned colour” ? would be better as “changed to a different colour” or “turned red/green/insert whatever colour here”
“and arm-hand steadiness where subjects had to hold a pen in a ring without either touching each other” - I would change this to “without touching the ring with the pen”
For perceptual motor abilities we had done four different tests. Each test involved physical coordination and are as follows: juggling a soccer ball to test multiple limb coordination, shooting a basketball to test aim and depth perception, responding to a visual stimulus to test reaction time, and maintaining a pen in a ring while minimizing contact between the two to test to test arm-hand steadiness (really, call this small/fine motor coordination or somethin).
“For perceptual motor abilities we had done four different tests. The tests were dealing with are; multiple limb coordination by juggling a soccer ball with feet, aiming through shooting a basketball, reaction time by clicking a stop button when the computer screen turned colour, and arm-hand steadiness where subjects had to hold a pen in a ring without either touching each other.”
We used four different tests to assess perceptual motor abilities (is the exactly the wording you want to use, it seems a little bit… slippery to me); and then clearly state you tests. How’s that sound?
Although its not what you asked to be critiqued on, did you account for the fact that your first two tests are learned skills. For example, someone who played basketball in middle school might outperform, by a wide margin, an elite Archer or a pro baseball pitcher.
[quote]Kanada wrote:
For perceptual motor abilities we had done four different tests. Each test involved physical coordination and are as follows:
â?¢ Juggling a soccer ball to test multiple limb coordination
â?¢ Shooting a basketball to test aim and depth perception
â?¢ Responding to a visual stimulus to test reaction time
â?¢ Maintaining a pen in a ring while minimizing contact between the two to test to test arm-hand steadiness (really, call this small/fine motor coordination or somethin).
[quote]Kanada wrote:
For perceptual motor abilities we had done four different tests. Each test involved physical coordination and are as follows:
â?¢ Juggling a soccer ball to test multiple limb coordination
â?¢ Shooting a basketball to test aim and depth perception
â?¢ Responding to a visual stimulus to test reaction time
â?¢ Maintaining a pen in a ring while minimizing contact between the two to test to test arm-hand steadiness (really, call this small/fine motor coordination or somethin).
[/quote]
[/quote]
Thanks, this does sound and look much better. I written other papers with much success. However, I got hung up on this part of it.
@Chris
I always find myself wording sections at a time. My teacher isn’t expecting much from this paper but I like to put in the extra effort to make it look professional. I’ll give your idea a go tomorrow. I never do rough draft or write out ideas before hand. I always just type as I think.
[quote]Kanada wrote:
For perceptual motor abilities we had done four different tests. Each test involved physical coordination and are as follows: juggling a soccer ball to test multiple limb coordination, shooting a basketball to test aim and depth perception, responding to a visual stimulus to test reaction time, and maintaining a pen in a ring while minimizing contact between the two to test to test arm-hand steadiness (really, call this small/fine motor coordination or somethin).