Yeah, I know it’s old. I just got around to seeing it on a pirated DVD (I’m a criminal, I know), and by the end I felt utterly let down. What were they thinking?
First off, there was Mark Wahlberg and his magic ring that changes colours according to how he feels. WTF? I was expecting that bullshit to have at least SOMETHING to do with the plot, but as the end credits rolled by, I guessed that they needed some bullshit to drone on about while everyone is offing themselves. The script practically wrote itself. Yeah, a huge disaster is looming ahead, now how 'bout my cool ring?
Marky Mark gave, IMO, a mixed performance. One minute he showcases some great emotional display (consoling the little girl, talking to his students), the next he whines like a little bitch at some boarded-up people in a house. “Please let us in! I don’t think it’s in the air, we are all fine! Oh no, I don’t think it’s the terrorists, sir!”
And his wide eyed reactions to some pretty horrific shit going on around him were very amusing, to say the least. He’s like a poor man’s Keanu Reeves. “Omigod, this dude is getting his shit ruined by a huge lawnmower. Like, woah!”
John Leguizamo was, simply put, terrible. Sure, he ACTED nice, like a lifer would act nice in front of the parole board. I kept expecting him to go berserk and pull out a shotgun and start killing folks for no reason. He’s much more convincing as a bad guy.
The high point of the film was when that annoying kid was gunned down through the door he was kicking at. Boom! Who’s the bitch now, huh?
And the explanation? That half assed, 30 second clip from a TV show that explains absolutely NOTHING, except that the plants have had enough with the human race and just decided to start farting neurotoxins in a specific part of the USA, and in France later on? Bullshit. “We don’t understand how the plantlife works”.
Riiiight. It attacks large groups of people, but if you’re alone and upwind, you’re cool. Why did the crazy old hag start breaking windows with her head, then? She was alone, and her craziness served simply as a justification to kill her off, plotwise.
The plant neurotoxins make people pause like they’re on DVD (which, ironically, they were when I watched The Happening), then start babbling incoherently and walking backwards. Real logical.
The reason for this rant is that it could have been a hell of a movie, if they simply took the time to explain shit. I guess they ran out of money and the deadline was close, so they went “Ah, what the hell, let’s call it a day”. Fucking shame.
Sorry for the spoilers, everyone!