T Nation

The Greatest Armed Services Ever


All hail the Swiss Army, 200 years of protecting the homeland, not one war of aggression, no renditions, torture or freedom tickling.

Proud citizen soldiers that even have the decency not to glorify diving head first into mud, digging trenches or killing people with advanced weaponry.

It is said that whole platoons can march through villages and are not once stopped to be thanked for their service, so maybe a militia system really is the best cure for unadulterated admiration of the military.


What if someone don't want to own a gun and take part of the militia, what then? Is that a problem?


There is alternative civil service.


Sounds like the ultimate in mediocrity to me.

No one fears the Swiss Army. They endorse bitchin' knives, but what else can you really say about them?

The US military is forced to take up the Euro slack so that you are free to enjoy your mediocre military.

We'll do all the heavy lifting for you. Just sit there and watch TV, or in certain Euros cases - bash the shit out of us.


Noone attacked them either. So I guess if they were feared enough by the Nazis they have done their job.

To induce more fear would simply be excessive and lead to blown up Swiss towers.

Who needs that?

But I guess the idea of a happy medium is a tough sell in Texas.

Did you ever notice how little credit people get when they force what they think is good on other people?

Why is that?


You better thank the mountains too, as they should get as much, if not more, credit for deterring an enemy attack.


Yeah. Hitler avoided Switzerland because he feared their cutlery, or their military might.

Mediocrity should be a hard sell anywhere. But when you have the US to act as your defensive shield, who would want to spend money on having a military?

We are their because of NATO, and at the insistence of the Euro govts.

I would love to abandon all treaties signed as a result of WWII.

Our defense spending would go down, and the EU would last about 3 minutes before you morons started invading one another.


Plus, at least the Austrian military is far from mediocre.

We do not even suck.

If we ever seriously sucked we would exceed our wildest expectations.

We are quite good at finding people beneath snow or crumbled buildings so maybe it is just a question of priorities.


Meh, we have mountains and could not defend ourselves.


'Cause you ever know when some wily terroist is going to take down the Austrian Towers. What is that, like 5 stories tall?


The reason why Hitler never invaded Switzerland is because they hid a LOAD of explosives in the Alps if his forces came to a certain point then they would have triggered them, would have been a spectacular sight to see though.

In relation to the US army, i have a LOAD of respect for them and all they do, everyone bitches and whines at the big guy (bb'ing forum?) has always and will always happen.

What i would LOVE to see someday is the USA saying

"Ok, hot shots we ae outta here enjoy life without us, if ye get invaded don't call us."

I would LOVE to see the French & German faces after that, twould be so funny, i would LOVE if Britian stopped sending our troops abroad to in aid of a country who now hates us..... i mean seriously wheres the thanks in helping an Arab nation when all we get is car bombs in return.


Yes, leave us to our own devices.

We will undoubtedly fall back in an age of barbarism with the glorification of military might, deification of our leaders religious superstition and torture...

Oh, wait...

Well, I am sure it will all be really bad anyhow.


Uh...who's deifying ANYTHING over here? I know it fits well with your opinion - but let's try to stay at least partially factual here.


Sometimes, I almost look forward to the demographic replacement of Europeans in their own countries.


We will pullback for the simple reason that we can't afford to keep troops in Europe anymore. With the budget deficits and debt, we'll have to become more careful in where we choose to apply force.

BTW: My son just got his Congessional nomination to the Academy at Annapolis. Now just hoping that the admissions commitee agrees with our congressman!


Anyways, someone's gotta be allowed to be neutral, I guess. Where would one deposit/hide one's blood money, othewise?


Where would you flee to or hide your money from outrageous taxation?

And no one "allows" them to be neutral.

They make it very expensive for anyone else not to "allow" it.

Hence, behold the Swiss Army, master at winning without fighting, champion of reason, protector of liberty.


Didn't the Swiss just collaborate with Hitler? Technically, they did remain "neutral" during WWII, I guess.

I do agree with the Swiss philosophy of gun ownership.


Do you know how ancient societies solved the question of why governments where allowed to do things that they forbid normal people to do on moral or religious grounds?

They declared their leaders to be Gods, above the mores of mere mortals and thereby explained how government could steal, torture, maim and kill while they punished citizens who did the same.

Do you have any doubt that you would go to jail if you ever broke half as many laws as the current US administration?

If you call it "executive privilege" or declare Caesar to be a God is a mere technicality.


Agreed. "Deifying" is a bit much, but when no one even cares when the Vice President says that if the president does it it's legal, and when no one cares after eight years of trampling on the Constitution, then yes, we have a problem with how we view our leaders.