Hey, not gonna write a book explaining everything, but i’m 33, currently 204.5, down from 255 in Oct, looking to do a natural bodybulding comp at the end of April, run a marathon at the end of May and then train and compete in powerlifting again. I also train Bjj and I’m trying to do that as often as possible lately.
I’m just going to give you the play by play from the last few days.
Thurs March 22
8am- wake, have 2 cups of bulletproof coffee, smoke 2-4 ciagarettes, 1 joint, 2-3 bong hits, eat 1/2 tbsp weed oil. Sit in silence at kitchen table.
10am - finish coffee, 2k run. i’m supposed to be doing 5k but my feet and ankles are still kind of messy from running 22km last wednesday so I take it slow until I feel better.
1030-1115- drink more coffee smoke more cigarettes, eat a big spoonful of weed butter.
1145- arrive/ change/ chew nicotine gum
12- BJJ blue class
–> 2nd class this week, I see bjj more about facing conflict, one of my biggest limitations, than I do about fighting, it’s a lot of teamwork and learning to relax and work through a problem together. I find it extremely difficult and I’ve skipped a lot of classes. I’m doing as many as I can now.
115- home - drink a tim hortons bullet proof coffee as a reward for doing class, this is basically my favorite thing right now and probably the main reason I’m behind on my diet, I smoke 1-2 cigraettes as I do this, once again the whole time sitting in silence by myself.
5ish - went to my moms, she cooks almost all of my food for me right now, I pick up some ground beef and sweet potatos and turkey and get some pretty bad news that my disability pension has been put on hold because I was late handing in a form since starting a new job, that I quit. This means I don’t have the money to pay my rent or bills this month.
8- training - on my way home I stopped by the gym to just do something rather than be miserable. Of course my ex best friend was there, who isn’t talking to me. This was great as it’s my fault she’s not talking to me and i’m such a disaster that there’s not much to do right now. So i did Dimel deadlifts, 3 sets of 20, really squeezing my glutes on each rep. She left as I got done and my motivation went with her, I got very tired.
9- Become fairly suicidal for about an hour and have my poor mother have to talk me off the ledge. This is happening more and more often.
1030ish - smoke weed until I can’t breathe and stabilize somewhat. Listen to Jocko podcast.
1115- 50 push ups, 100 band rows, with 15 lb dumbell, 100 tricep extensions, 100 chest flys, 100 curls, 20-30 lateral raise
12 - bed